Nobody likes me: what to do

"It seems to me that no one loves me. I don’t have real friends, my parents just blame me and point out mistakes. I just want a simple human understanding, warmth, attention!"

“I’m tired of giving my love to others, and in return I’ve got a knife in my back. They use me, they wipe my feet, they ignore me. Nobody loves me. I always think why this is so? Why do some people bathe in love and attention, while others are kicked how ugly ducklings? "

The thirst for love is a perfectly understandable need. From the first days of life and until the last breath, a person needs a gentle word, care, understanding. Without it, it will stale and languish. Even flowers, which are cared for without the proper warmth, wither faster. But why nobody loves some people, while others literally bask in care and attention? And most importantly, what needs to be done to start loving you?

What is the reason?

If nobody loves a person, then in 90% of cases it is his merit. Especially when it comes to others, not parents. Only the father and mother love the child just like that, for his mere existence.

It is laid by nature. Moreover, parental instincts are sometimes so strong that the “child” is cared for and cherished until old age. They do not care what kind of son or daughter is a man, their love is unconditional. They can justify anything - deception, lightheadedness, drunkenness. Even murder. It is this kind of unconditional love that each of us is seeking.

Unfortunately, society is not capable of loving "just like that." They lack the same parental instinct that gives the magical property of not paying attention to the actions and behavior of a person.

Even parents don't always love their children. For example, such an instinct is erased from drunkards, drug addicts, people who grew up or are now in difficult living conditions.

Therefore, if nobody loves a person, then you need to look for the cause, first of all, in yourself. Excessive arrogance, rudeness, constant nagging, talkativeness, conflict and many other things can repel people. Moreover, the opinion from the outside is sometimes radically different from its own ideas.

What pushes people away?

If nobody loves you, then first of all you need to think: "what am I doing wrong?" Often we justify our negative behavior by acting with the best of intentions. However, it is not the thoughts that are evaluated from the side but the actions.

For example, if you, a guy in his prime, did not give way to an old woman in public transport due to poor health, then far from flattering conclusions will be made about you.

In addition, others can dislike the style of communication. The following behavior is especially repulsive:

Constant whining. Nobody likes to listen to other people's complaints. And if a couple of times you still hear and sympathize, then the fourth will be kept away. Agree, it is much more pleasant to communicate with a positive and self-sufficient interlocutor than with a cry and a whiner.
Closure Often people eschew silent people. It is not known what to expect from them, and it is not clear what to talk to them about. In addition, the silent people often seem too arrogant. It seems that they consider it below their dignity to communicate with "ordinary" people.
Rudeness, rudeness. Hot-tempered, conflict-prone people will never become the "soul" of the company. How can you love a person if he constantly finds fault with and does not quite adequately respond to your words or actions? This can also be attributed, and "lovers of truth," who are ready to throw unsightly facts straight in the face. A sense of tact they simply do not know.
Love to gossip. All sensible people eschew gossipers. After all, if he so gladly discusses others, then he will spread gossip about you as well. To trust such a person, and even more so to love, is difficult. Although on the other hand, gossips are very friendly.
Obsession Excessive attention acts no less repulsive. For rapprochement, time and mutual interest are needed. If not, then all attempts at friendship or love will be in vain.
Lack of virtues. Society always appreciates intelligent, kind, personalized and professional people. If a person is a slacker, a loafer and a drunkard, then the attitude towards him will be negative.

How to win the love of others?

What if nobody loves you? First of all, you need to stop concentrating on yourself. Love must give yourself. If the promise is sincere, then all efforts will pay off in full.

What does that require:

Be polite to others. Hello, look into the eyes. If appropriate, ask how the person is doing.
Share a good mood. Smile, tell jokes and funny stories.
Be yourself. Do not try to seem better than it actually is. After all, much nicer to communicate with the "earthly" man, who also has its drawbacks.
Fill the conversation with meaning. Tell us about interesting facts, share a new recipe for lettuce, but just do not pour from empty to empty. Long talk about anything tires. Avoid gossip.
Do not be shy. Get rid of the fear of being misunderstood. Have confidence and act. Start a conversation, open up to the interlocutor.
Love yourself. It is very difficult to love a person who does not value himself. Surely you have a lot of advantages. Remember them.
Do not judge others. We all make mistakes. Try to treat others with understanding.
Show moderate interest in others. Ask your friend where she bought these wonderful boots. Find out what new films colleagues watched recently, or where they plan to go on vacation.
Think positive. Try to chase away negative thoughts. Do not rush to share problems or bad mood. If you do not need help, it is meaningless. Speak only to really close people, or as a last resort, make an appointment with a psychologist.
Look neat and tidy. At least, it is pleasant to watch a person who looks after his appearance. But dirty nails, stains on clothes or smell from the mouth, rather, on the contrary, will push off the interlocutor.
Offer your help. Do not remain indifferent to the grief of others. If you can help with something, do it. No wonder they say that friendship is known in trouble. And sometimes, there it begins.

Opinion of the author. When a person says “no one loves me,” he is somewhat cunning. Surely there is at least one close person nearby - mother, sister, grandmother, girlfriend. And this is a lot. From my own experience I will say that complaints of dislike often appear from raging egoism, when a person is not supported in time, reproached or disappointed. But this is life. Not always close people have the opportunity to show their love. They also have their worries and sorrows. Take it with understanding. Surely your problem is not so serious, or you just misunderstood it.

How to attract the right people?

Rarely, but it happens that the reason for the offensive "nobody loves me" is hiding in the wrong environment. Some simply masterfully attract the "wrong" people. For example, your friends just cry in your waistcoat, but do not support you in a difficult moment. Or guys start a relationship just for the sake of sex. Unfortunately, sometimes other people do pursue their own selfish goals. To no longer fall into this situation, listen to the following tips:

Look for friendship or love among people with similar interests and views.
Be open, but see how the other person opens up to you.
Pay attention not to words, but to deeds.
Do not tolerate lies, rudeness, rudeness, betrayal.
Observe how a person behaves with his parents, which tells about friends and acquaintances.
Take a break or get involved in a common business. This method will help you quickly figure out how close you are to your girlfriend or boyfriend.

That's all. It only remains to recall about the well-known saying that you are not a coin in order to please everyone. Some like calm and sensible, others whimsical and cheerful people. The main thing is to love and appreciate yourself. Then the right people will be drawn. Good luck!