The relationship between a man and a woman can be filled with different emotions: some of them saturate and deepen the relationship, and some are able to destroy them. How to stop being jealous is a question that thousands of men and women are asking themselves, realizing that because of this feeling, their relationship is falling into the abyss. To destroy the enemy, you need to know where he came from - let's find out where the jealousy comes from.
Causes of jealousy
Unfortunately, you can with confidence. to argue that jealousy is a result of problems with self-esteem. A person who is not confident in himself believes that he to some extent “does not hold out” to a partner, “does not deserve” a relationship.
In fact, he requires confirmation that he is loved, but sooner or later, the partner may run out of patience, because constant jealousy without any reason is not combined with full-fledged healthy relationships. Women love to make up dramas. In order for a drama to appear, even the slightest clue is needed, so it is imperative to check all the pockets of the man, the list of incoming and outgoing calls, etc. If there is nothing suspicious, then you can think of something. Let's find out how to handle jealousy.
How to stop destroying relationships with jealousy?
Based on the above reasons, you can give the following tips on how to stop being jealous:
- Think about why you think you are not worthy of this relationship. If in your opinion there are any objective reasons, start changing something in yourself. They began to look bad - a set of standard women's events will help: haircut, manicure, pedicure, new wardrobe will help to distract and raise self-esteem. Most likely, the problem lies much deeper, so these activities will have a temporary effect. But this step is obligatory - it is the fastest in order to give self-confidence, and therefore, to restructure thinking.
- Do not stop, analyze further: what would you like to achieve, that self-esteem, and self-love flourished in your soul. Note that this is very important: you work on yourself, your sense of self and your purpose. Everything that you do, you do for yourself, and not because “panic, because of the fact that you were thrown, covered your eyes”.
- Jealousy - a feature of people dependent on the partner and relationships. Self-sufficient people do not hold anyone near themselves by force, moreover, they understand that any relationship can end. Because relationships are freedom: freedom of action, freedom in decision making. This does not mean that they do not know how to love or insensitive. Lose the situation: what will you do if this relationship ends? Having a plan of action in your head makes it much easier to control any situation - now you are the mistress of the situation.
-
No need to climb on things men. Take it for granted - there must be trust in the relationship. This is the basis without which their existence is meaningless. The energy that you spend on suspicion, finding out, spy games send in a peaceful direction: work on a peaceful relationship, non-destructive psyche and life of you and your partner. Try not to react to what seems “dangerous” to you. Do not make scandals, do not show negative emotions, do not raise your voice. This may seem complicated at first glance, so tell yourself that this is a “test case” —you just follow how your relationship changes.
No need to climb on things men. Take it for granted - there must be trust in the relationship. This is the basis without which their existence is meaningless. The energy that you spend on suspicion, finding out, spy games send in a peaceful direction: work on a peaceful relationship, non-destructive psyche and life of you and your partner. Try not to react to what seems “dangerous” to you. Do not make scandals, do not show negative emotions, do not raise your voice. This may seem complicated at first glance, so tell yourself that this is a “test case” —you just follow how your relationship changes.Unreasonable jealousy always worsens the relationship. You quarrel with a partner, although there is no reason, he has to justify himself in what he did not - and how to justify himself in such cases? Irritation will increase with each time. Remember this the next time you want new confirmations of the love of self expressed in this way.
If jealousy is justified
It also happens that the reason for jealousy is quite real. A man can communicate quite freely with other women, come late in the evenings, you can hear unpleasant conversations on the phone or see the correspondence. The question of how to deal with jealousy in this case is not worth it. Here the questions are different - what is the reason and (depending on the answer to the first question) do you need such a man?
What should not be done is to justify male behavior with the phrases “He is such a person, he needs communication” or “I myself am to blame because ... (any option)” It is enough to calmly talk with your partner once and explain that such behavior is incomprehensible and unpleasant for you. If he is attentive to you, then there will be no more such cases. If nothing changes and you watch your man flirt with other women again, it’s best to think about finding someone less loving.
What not to say, and jealousy - the result of our past experience. If your partner gives you no reason, learn how to manage your emotions. If he behaves really unworthy, stop looking for a problem in yourself - his complexes and the need to confirm his own worth should not be a reason for you to destroy yourself. With your jealousy, you only “feed” him, stimulating such behavior. If you learn to appreciate yourself, you will understand - you just do not follow the path.
Alina, Moscow
