Low self-esteem can be compared with a bad habit: a person understands that it prevents him, but it is difficult to get rid of it. The problem can be found in many people, so the question "how to increase self-esteem" remains relevant.
There are many ways to deal with low self-esteem. The article contains quite non-trivial, with highly efficient methods. It's a good idea to familiarize yourself with them and those with self-esteem, everything is in order (for preventive purposes), and for some people the leadership will be the first step towards a full-fledged life.
Be able to face your fears
People with low self-esteem had many situations, the mere thought of which causes panic. It may be a fear to speak: suddenly someone will say an offensive phrase, another will criticize it, the third will reject feelings ... Some are even afraid to go out and get acquainted in order to avoid a potential "failure." It is necessary to fight fears, otherwise they can seriously spoil life.
Of course, it is worthwhile to reason sensibly, objectively assessing the risks. But most often the problems are far-fetched. Nothing bad will happen if a new friend will not be interested to communicate. To understand that sympathy is non-reciprocal, it hurts, but such feelings sooner or later disappear. In addition, if you are afraid to admit, you may not know that the other person is experiencing the same in response.
To become brave, decisive and respect yourself, you need to act. Little can destroy self-esteem as much as blind faith in one’s own failure. Understanding comes after a series of different situations - not everything is as scary as it seemed initially, other people are not aggressive, ready to communicate and are not going to criticize for trying to establish a common language with them. The remaining problems are also frivolous, contrived. It is important not to stop after the first step, to continue the path to your goal, rejecting fears.
Learn to say no and not feel guilty about it.
The board is not new, but it really works. The most important part is to stop experiencing guilt after failure. Some people who have learned to say "no" cannot cope with this. There may be a feeling that by failing a person fails someone, deceiving other people's expectations. But first of all it is worth being guided by yourself. You can go all the life about others, not paying attention to their own negative feelings.
Another option is to strike a balance between what is being done for oneself and others. For some cases, you have to sacrifice something. However, meeting the expectations of everyone else, forgetting about oneself is the refusal of a full-fledged happy life in favor of those who can use someone else's reliability.
Breaking ties pulling to the bottom
This advice can be considered a continuation of the previous one. A person who has learned to say "no" to preserve his interests can hear unpleasant things about himself. Friends who are constantly asking for help will wonder why this time they are refused. If for many years doing something for others, they get used to it and "sit on the neck." They are very comfortable - there is always someone to whom you can shift some of the responsibilities.
It is better not to communicate with such “parasitic” people, especially if they rarely help themselves, but they constantly ask others to do something for them. There is nothing wrong with helping friends, but you should understand when it is detrimental to itself. In addition, people who are around just for the sake of profit are quite difficult to call “friends”.
Try at least for a while to abandon cosmetics / styling / heels
For many girls who are used to even make a bright makeup before going to the store, this turns out to be a difficulty. At first, the thought "how I look terrible" does not leave my head. "Ugly" appearance without make-up is not an objective reality, but only a factor of unusualness. Every day, seeing yourself in a mirror made up, and then getting used to the natural look is difficult, but possible.
The girl realizes that she looks good without makeup, and can use it less often. In addition, for the skin it will be useful for a while to take a break from dense foundation creams, blush, mascara, other cosmetics. The same applies to hairstyles and not the most convenient details of the wardrobe.
On the Internet you can find tips on changing the image, the selection of good clothes, makeup. The advice itself does not carry anything bad, but it conceals a hidden danger. If a person feels confident and likes to look in the mirror, only when he is dressed smartly and perfectly combed, this still shows problems with self-esteem.
You should not take everything literally and rush to the other extreme - look untidy, throw out beautiful things, leaving only stretched home clothes in the closet. In all you need to know when to stop. A girl wearing heels or uncomfortable, but beautiful lingerie on a regular basis will feel relieved if she at least temporarily switches to more practical clothes that do not cause discomfort. An even greater joy would be the realization that attractiveness, feeling beautiful does not depend on clothes - this is an internal state.
Do not depend on compliments and criticism
Listening to what others will say and forming self-esteem based on this is a dubious task. Often you can meet people who repeat the opinions of others. “A colleague said I’ve got more red hair,” “the girl says that I look better without a beard”, “Mom is horrified by my new sweater, she advises to buy a turtleneck” ... sensations.
Where does the desire to never put on new comfortable things come from, if someone hums a frown? A person who is aware that his comfort is first and foremost important will not worry about the fact that someone does not like his appearance, clothes or behavior. The point is not to protect from criticism, which can be useful and help to progress, but to divide it into objective / subjective. If a boss criticizes an unfinished report, a friend says that you hurt him with your actions, and your parents beg to call at least once a month, you should probably listen and change your behavior. But the annoying advice to change the hairstyle, image, or flattering compliments, from which a person literally depends, you can safely move into the background.
To be selfish
For some reason, it is believed that a person who knows his own worth, who cares about his own happiness, is incredibly selfish. If you take these measurements, you should be selfish. It is unlikely that a person loses something when he decides to devote more time to himself, to develop, to limit himself from unpleasant contacts, to remove unnecessary things from life. But he gets a lot in return.
It is important to find time for yourself, value it and use it wisely, choose your own interests first of all, spend resources on yourself. After such a kind of "therapy", new forces appear, a desire to take care of others, but not to the detriment of oneself.
Learn to take loneliness as a plus
One of the reasons for low self-esteem is loneliness. When a person has few friends, no pair, there is a feeling of being useless. But at the same time, loneliness can be wrapped in their favor. You should not become a reclusive, deliberately doing everything to protect yourself from others. Pluses of loneliness - a large amount of time and free space, complete freedom of action. You can learn languages, dance in front of a mirror, get rid of constraints, read books, lounging on a bed, watch any movies and listen to pop music at high volume.
The most important thing in this is the realization that loneliness is not necessarily boring, and your own company suddenly turns out to be pleasant. Getting the pleasure of being alone with yourself is a huge step towards increasing self-esteem. Self-development goes to the bonus and, however banal it may sound, getting happiness from the freedom of choice of leisure.
Be ready for new unusual sensations
A change in self-perception inevitably leads to mixed feelings. Sometimes anger may appear: a person does not understand how for so many years he has allowed others to dictate to him how to look, communicate, act. It can be said that in this case the anger is to a certain extent justified, exactly like bewilderment. Breaking on others, trying to revenge is a bad option.
It is important to realize that these emotions and feelings are inevitable, but they should not be thoughtlessly splashed out or suppressed. A person needs to understand the changes that have occurred, continue to improve his life. The next steps can be new acquaintances, a hobby, a change of unloved work, serious conversations with relatives, helping to understand each other.
Keep track of balance
High self-esteem is also a negative phenomenon. You should not consider yourself the best, most beautiful and intelligent on the planet, dismissive of other people. The purpose of raising self-esteem is to accept oneself entirely, with all the disadvantages and merits, a harmonious and happy life. The above does not include self-affirmation at the expense of others, deification of the person and opposition to most people.
There is a big difference between adequate self-esteem and praise of their qualities, boasting, unlimited pride. Noticing for an attempt to rise, a person should stop them in the bud. In addition, often those who consider themselves better than others, in fact, mask a low self-esteem by another extreme. Happy people do not need to increase their self-esteem due to the humiliation of others.
Some tips seem difficult to put into practice, but still worth trying. A person will not lose anything, but can gain self-confidence. The main thing - do not rush and do not give up if something does not work. Changes are rarely lightning; everything needs its time. The main friends on the road to change are perseverance, dedication and awareness of the desire to make life better.
