The theme of loyalty is relevant for all couples, without exception. But ideas of loyalty partners may vary greatly.
So, one will not consider a betrayal of a kiss with another person, and for the second such an act will be an occasion to end the relationship.
Therefore, the question is so important: kiss is treason?
The concept and psychology of treason
Treason is a violation promises to be faithful to the partner.
For most people, treason is synonymous with betrayal.
After such an act man loses the trust of his partner and, as a rule, the relationship ends or ceases to be the same.
Why do people change? There are a number of reasons for this behavior:
- the desire to dispel the boredom resulting from a long stay in stable relationships;
- dissatisfaction with his partner, leading to the desire to find a replacement for him;
- desire for revenge in response to the betrayal of the beloved;
- accidental misconduct caused by coincidence and weakening of moral standards (in case of alcohol intoxication, depression, nervous breakdown, offense, etc.);
- inability to remain faithful to one person, caused by total promiscuity, lack of moral principles and respect for his partner.
Types and meaning of kisses
There are the following kisses:
- Business. From the point of view of business etiquette, a kiss is not an acceptable form of interaction between people. Usually, business partners or colleagues greet each other with handshakes. But, in practice, in the business sphere, there are kisses in cases where people seek to establish friendly relations with opponents or have personal sympathy for them. For example, politicians in the international arena often exchange official kisses at official events. Such kisses are made by gently touching the lips of a person’s cheek. Most often, the touch does not occur, and there is only a characteristic movement of the lips in the air in the immediate vicinity of the opponent's face.
- Friendly. Such a kiss is acceptable between colleagues, friends, acquaintances, etc. He implies, as a rule, touching his cheeks with his lips. Each person performs such actions many times, meeting people after separation, congratulating with any event, saying goodbye to loved ones, etc.
Such a kiss does not carry any intimate component and can not cause feelings of jealousy at the partner of the kisser.
- Related. This kiss is usually made on the cheek, but in our country, often close relatives kiss each other on the lips. For example, when meeting after a long separation or on particularly important occasions.
Kiss on the lips is especially popular with older people. But, more often than not, relatives kiss each other on the cheek. This kiss is different from the friendly nature of the interaction. People during the contact can closely cling to each other, hug, repeat the touch of the lips several times alternately in each cheek.
- Parental. Parents kiss children on the cheek, on the eyes, on the forehead, on the head, on the neck, etc. The more tactile contact between parents and child, the more calm and confident he grows.
- Intimate. This is not necessarily a kiss on the lips. Intimate can be a kiss in the neck, in the ear. Such actions are usually performed by parents in relation to children or adults in relation to their partners. An intimate kiss is not to be confused with another kind of kiss, because it carries an erotic component.
So, if a man kisses his colleague in the neck, there can be no talk of any business kiss.
What is considered a betrayal?
Which kisses are considered treason, and which are not? Cheating is an intimate kiss, if he is committed consciously. The following types of kisses are not cheating:
- Business. Business kisses between business partners are extremely formal.
- Related. It is impossible to suspect people of blood relatives for treason.
- Parental. The manifestation of feelings by mother or father towards children cannot be interpreted as treason.
- Friendly. The statement about the possibility of friendship between a man and a woman causes a lot of controversy.
Nevertheless, the usual kiss on the cheek between opposite-sex friends is currently popular among young people and is not regarded as treason.
- Mistaken intimate kiss. For example, during the congratulations of a colleague on his birthday, a man accidentally hits his lips not on the cheek, but on the lips of a girl. Such a kiss is not a betrayal, as it occurred unintentionally.
- Random intimate kiss. For example, during a party a young man who is in a strong alcoholic intoxication, kisses with the same drunk foreign girl. Both participants of the process will not even recognize each other the next day and will not recall the incident that occurred. This behavior can hardly be called cheating.
- Intimate kiss forcing. For example, a young man kisses on the lips of a girl who does not reciprocate to him, but who has no opportunity to evade a kiss. In this case, the contact occurs without the consent of one of the parties, and this party can not be accused of treason.
Psychology tips
It is important to note that each person ends up he determines his attitude to the act of the partner.
For some, even the most outspoken kiss on the lips is not a betrayal, but even the thought of having a partner’s second contact with someone else is unpleasant.
In the first case, people consider betraying only sexual contact or in general do not consider loyalty to the main component of the relationshipIn the second case, any betrayal becomes a betrayal.
One way or another, it is useful for both boys and girls to familiarize themselves with the recommendations of psychologists on how to treat an intimate kiss of a partner with another person.
For guys
If a girl kissed another guy, it could mean the following:
- She was fascinated by it. Her desire to make similar contact with another guy can be triggered by the sympathy for him. If this behavior is unacceptable for a guy, you should end the relationship. If you want to keep the relationship, you need to talk to the girl and find out her future intentions.
- She want make jealous. Perhaps the girl feels insecure due to the presence of some kind of complexes, due to doubts in the existing relationship, due to the previously committed betrayal by the guy, etc. Her behavior in this case is caused by the desire to attract the attention of the chosen one. It should confidentially talk and find out all the contradictions.
- She does not consider a kiss a betrayal. Perhaps the girl is accustomed to express sympathy towards people regardless of their gender. In this case, her act is not intentional treason.
It is important to talk about the problem and explain to the girl that this behavior is unacceptable.
For girls
Male psychology is different from female psychology.
As a rule, the desire to kiss another girl directly related to sexual attraction To her.
If for girls the kiss itself is of interest, then the guy is much more interested in the possibility of continuing the contact on a closer level. If a guy kisses another girl, you should find out the following:
- He did it on purpose or under the influence of the moment.. If the kiss occurred under the influence of alcohol, either during a noisy party, or during a quarrel with a girl, then maybe the guy didn’t know what he was doing.
- Does he feel attracted to the object of a kiss. Sustained sympathy for another girl is a signal that the guy is attracted to her.
Perhaps, under favorable circumstances and the consent of the second party, the kiss would have grown into something more serious.
- He himself was active or was the girl kissed him. If the guy did not strive for a kiss, and the initiative did not belong to him, then there is no need to talk about treason.
- Does he consider his act a betrayal? Perhaps the young man does not attach importance to such kisses. It should be explained to him that such behavior hurts loved ones. It may be that he is a lovelace, for whom a kiss is not treason.
The presence of such a living attitude from the chosen one should be alarming, since he is very likely to react just as easily to sexual contact with another girl.
In any of these cases should speak frankly to a guy and find out his position.
The presence of remorse and the desire to preserve the relationship are good signs that you should pay attention to when deciding whether to maintain or terminate the relationship.
If the guy denies what happened, lies and dodges, then the best solution would be to part.
Real answers
The real answers of men and women to the question of do they think kiss is cheating:
- Eugene, 23 years old: “I do not think kiss is a betrayal. This is just a minute lip contact. Even children in kindergarten can kiss on the lips. It is foolish to break off a serious relationship because of the similar misconduct of the second half. ”;
- Daria, 21: “For me, a kiss is treason. It does not matter how a person betrayed you - entered into a sexual relationship, kissed a stranger, told your personal secrets, etc. The very fact that he betrayed the confidence in him is a betrayal. If I knew that my boyfriend had kissed someone, I would have immediately parted with him. ”;
- Sergey, 28 years old: "Complex issue. On the one hand, this is treason. On the other hand - this is still far from sex, but just a kiss. I think at the very beginning of a relationship, such an act may well become a reason for separation. But if people have a long and serious relationship, especially if there are children, you should not part because of such trifles. You just have to talk heart to heart and clarify the situation. "
Thus, everyone decides for himself whether a kiss is a betrayal or not. It is advisable to always clarify with the partner the reasons for his action. and his attitude to what happened before drawing final conclusions.