“Thank you, Andrew, everything was wonderful. You are such a great friend! ” - She says, leaving with him from the cafe and holding a gorgeous bouquet. And everything would be fine, but the guy's smile faded dramatically - Andryusha was sure that this was a date ...
What meeting in principle can be called a romantic? What signals suggest that it is time to invite the person you like just for the rendezvous and he will understand this? And what signs warn that it is better not to prescribe a first date?
What is a date
A date is a meeting of two people interested in each other in an informal setting. It is not necessarily accompanied by romantic music, poetry reading or a saxophonist’s performance ordered. Even an elementary walk can be the same rendezvous, if a number of conditions remain. Which ones:
- both interlocutors know for sure about the goals of the meeting, they understand that mutual sympathy became its pretext;
- all conversations are aimed at getting to know a person more personally;
- the setting of the meeting is relaxed, without any official status;
- in the conversation there are compliments, in actions - attempts to impress (give a hand, win a toy in the shooting range, surprise with culinary skills);
- date is held only two. The crowd in the amusement park, of course, is not considered. But the presence of her sister or his sidekick already makes it just a friendly gathering.
First mistakethat makes people doubt the purpose of the meeting is the inability to talk about it in advance. Although more often - shyness.
The simple question “Let's go to the cinema?” Already concludes duality - to go as acquaintances or as lovers? And if you add “I’m just bored” to the proposal or “it’s not necessary, if I take a friend” because of the fear of being rejected, then the chances of romance are completely canceled.
It is better to ask directly: “Would you agree to go on a date with me?” - or: “Let's go to the park?” This is a date. ” Then questions will not arise.
It's time for a date - signs
What is a rendezvous - is already clear. It remains to determine whether the person you like is reciprocated, wants to get close. What features in behavior can give it away? Next - 5 obvious signals.
Language of the body
An enamored person can not call, not write, not even speak often with her passion from shyness, fear of being imposed. But her body will give everything.
Signs that a person is not indifferent:
- considers the object of adoration, but, once noticed, abruptly looks away;
- slightly blushes, sweats up, starts to stutter or smile at random;
- occasionally, as if by chance, lightly touches the body of the beloved (usually hands, legs, waist or shoulders);
- usually the collected person suddenly begins to behave awkwardly when the person he likes appears on the horizon;
- a man leans back in a chair, armchair or sofa, trying to occupy as much space as possible, a woman, on the contrary, slightly moves forward;
- unconsciously "mirrors" movements, phrases, facial expressions;
- experiencing heart palpitations (can be seen on the pulsating streak on the left side of the neck), pupils dilate.
You can not count each item separately. If, for example, when a boss begins to sweat his palms with his boss or he mumbles, this can be a sign of fear, anxiety or insecurity, but not sympathy.
It can not be said that absolutely all the listed signs must be met in each case. Personality can control itself well, express badly its emotions. However, if at least 3 facts still slip through - this is a sure signal of interest.
“Random” meetings
For ease of understanding, clarity - the story is typical for this feature:
“Anya lives in the city center. On Tuesdays and Saturdays, she goes shopping at the nearest supermarket. Recently, the girl began to often encounter in the store with a new work colleague Anton. They make purchases together, chatting merrily.
Anya understands that she likes the guy. But the trouble is - the girl is not sure whether he responds to her in return.
On Monday, Anna, as usual, examines the papers in the office and runs into Anton's personal file. Curiosity wins - the girl quickly glances through the contents of the folder. The discovery forces her to invite Anton on a date in a cafe in the evening of the same day ”.
Question: what was it about the dossier that made the girl understand the reciprocity of feelings?
Answer: Anna saw the address of Anton - he lives on the outskirts of the city. It is more profitable for him, less time consuming to buy products in another supermarket. But he spends the extra couple of hours to drive half the city and just see the girl.
Attempts to strengthen communication
An indifferent person will not maintain an unnecessary contact for her, much less will he want to strengthen him. About the desire to continue acquaintance, says the following:
- attempts to find out the phone number or mail address;
- inviting friends in social networks, instant messengers;
- frequent offers to spend time together;
- creating collaborative photographs, audio or video recordings;
- desire to meet your friends;
- delivery of gifts as a means of reminding yourself.
From the side it looks as if a person wants to come from different sides, surround her with attention, looking for all possible ways for this. However, these attempts are often unobtrusive. Most likely the request will be announced only once, maximum twice.
Efforts to “fill one's worth” in the form of refusal from caprice or temporary impulse can scare a fan. Then he or she, quite possibly, will give up trying to gain favor, lose interest. Not everyone has “sporting interest”, the desire to achieve everything through. For many, the word “no” has a direct meaning. Therefore, not every person will try to win over someone who is indifferent to her or pretends that this is so.
Drawing attention to yourself
Evidence of reciprocity of feelings can be a clear desire to arouse interest, to remind myself. Such aspirations are expressed through:
- “Likes” on social networks, commenting on posts;
- experiments with a sense of humor, appearance (beard shape, hair color);
- samples to embellish your own appearance;
- frequent requests or, on the contrary, offers of help (to the person you like);
- connection to the conversation, in which the beloved person participates, initiative to start a conversation.
The degree, the number of these reminders depends on the nature - sociable, persistent or closed, shy. One person will throw chocolate bars on the desktop, remaining incognito. Another will wear a T-shirt with a bright “Choose me!” Sign. The third will speak directly about their feelings.
Compliments
It is important to learn to distinguish them. After all, their goals may not be the same. The main ones are:
- romantic - “You have an attractive charm, charm”, “It's easy to fall in love with you”;
- friendly - “This outfit suits you very much”, “You are a very cheerful, pleasant nature”;
- working praise - “You have a lively mind, resourcefulness”, “You have worked nicely. Great job! ”.
The problem is that the line between these species is not always obvious. A distinctive feature of romantic compliments is their periodicity, surprise. Sometimes they show a constraint when pronouncing. For the rest, it is important to peer into the full picture of events without taking the words out of context.
It's a bad idea when making an appointment
- The apparent lack of common interests and unwillingness to work on their creation.
- Rudeness in communication, arrogance, tactlessness, ridicule.
- The presence of any intolerable, annoying qualities in the partner - they will not change, not in one day for sure.
- Open reluctance of the interlocutor to continue communication, ignoring, avoiding.
- The person is already in a relationship (he leaves these and runs away from the following).
- Excessive involvement in work, another occupation, when a person literally lives this, without expressing a desire to change something.
- Lack of attempts to learn something new about the familiar, obsession with oneself (lack of readiness for relationships, self-centeredness).
- A discussion of her particular personal encounters with others, as well as phrases like “You're such a cool friend!”.
- The listed signs of interest are shown in relation to all. A person is very sociable or just likes to flirt.
- There is absolutely no initiative in his / her actions. Perhaps there is sympathy, but do you really want to beg for it all the time or to pull it out with ticks?
To confuse a date with a simple meeting - that still awkwardness. However, as an attempt to invite someone who is not interested in romance or just does not deserve it. In order not to be trapped, it is better to follow the advice from this article and start a new novel correctly.
