They say that loneliness is useful - a person learns to hear himself, to understand his feelings and desires, wanders around his inner world and studies his soul. All this is true, but no one could manage without friends and understanding. If a person is lonely - he is unhappy, and he is constantly tormented by thoughts about how to find friends, real and devotees, who will support in difficult times, and in moments of joy will share her with you. Communicating with friends gives a person a feeling of fulfilling life that makes sense. Where to look for friends?
I want to tell a story from my life, which began almost from the time of my childhood and lasts until now. She is about friends. As a child I was a closed child, I had no friends, because everyone thought I was strange - I wrote poetry, read books and talked to trees, considering that they are alive and understand me.
Later, in the technical school, I tried not to separate from the gray mass, to be like everyone else and I had a couple of girlfriends - but they were fake, because with them I could not share the most intimate.
I grew up and began to like boys. I got married and ... after a while the divorce! After all, I planned for myself a prince and eternal love, and life threw me from heaven to earth. I stayed with my little son in my arms, lived with my parents, but I did not have true friends, as before.
When the baby was five years old, I got married a second time. I still live with my beloved husband to this day, but at that moment, even though we loved each other, I really wanted to relax with friends, have fun and feel right for them. With work at that time it was difficult, and for a long time I could not find it, therefore my only communication with people was on the Internet.
Oh, how easy it is to get lost in the network when you are lonely and want a friendly warmth and understanding! Do not amuse yourself with illusions that you can find a friend in the internet! These will be just cold letters and dead messages that will never really hug you, shake your hand, see the glitter of your eyes, really come to the rescue.
I had only frustration and pain from online friendships. And also a strange feeling of time wasted, time wasted, which could be given to someone close and dear.
Soon I got a job and how I was born again! Nearby there were new people with whom I was easy and simple, who understood my inner state - a poetic, vulnerable soul of romance, and who supported me in every way. At any moment, in sorrow and in joy.
New employees have become not only my friends, but also friends of my spouse, and some of them - the godmother of our daughter, who was born soon. Now we often get together, go to visit each other, on picnics, on birthdays and just like that. And I'm sure I can call them even at night, and they will come.
I realized that I do not need to search for friends. Fate itself sends us the right people. Our task is not to succumb to illusions and to be ourselves.
Be able to listen and hear others.
Of course, people just will not reach for you. For this you need to have many qualities. which, unfortunately, is not at all. One of them, perhaps the most important, is the ability to listen and hear a person. Listening and hearing are different concepts, although they have the same root.
It happens that a person has no one to share his pain with, or vice versa, his own interests and achievements. If a person came to you with a desire to share something intimate - never push him away, even if the topic he describes is not at all interesting for you. Think, for some reason, he came to you? Perhaps, apart from you at the moment, no one can help him?
Sometimes you can make a real friend just by hearing a stranger. But sometimes it is not enough to listen, you need to hear what his heart is crying about, or what his soul is crying and the mouth is silent. And if a person has decided to open his soul to you - so that he will not tell you, never condemn.
Often, this is how friendship begins - with a casual conversation, with an understanding look, and its final result can be fixed with the phrase: "If I forget the melody of my soul, then a true friend will remind me of it."
Be sociable and people will reach for you
There is another famous phrase: "Keep it simple and people will reach out to you." I would change her a little - be more sociable and people will reach for you. If you are looking for friends who would understand you, you need to visit more often in public places that match your interests.
Do you like football? Go to the matches - among the many fans you will definitely find the right person for communication. Write poems and enjoy poetry? Do not sit at home, and sign up for a literary club (there are such in every city). Just madly in love with music? Then the concert halls and philharmonic await you!
And one more tip - overcome your complexes. Do not be afraid to start communication first! With people interesting to you, go on contact with joy. Be bolder and more confident. Psychologists recommend shy and insecure people to engage in meditation under the ready-made special recordings, under which you can relax perfectly, be filled with positive energy and which can raise self-esteem.
A pleasant hypnotizing voice will give you an attitude that you are the best, most attractive and friendly person, and that new friends are already coming to you, and if you believe this, then it will be so, because the thought is material.
The basic rule of life - smile to people. Be kind to them. No, it is not necessary to laugh for no reason with an idiotic laugh - in this case, you not only make friends with anyone, but also scare the people away. Smile with a kind and friendly smile, illuminate the world with it and infect passersby.
I want to quote beautiful words from the song of Vitas;
"Smile
And you will see - then everything will change.
Smile
The rain will pass and the earth will put on the light.
Smile
And the sadness of the side will pass.
Smile
And then the soul will heal ... "
Or maybe someone just needs your smile? Perhaps someone meeting you will also think about how lonely and how he would like to find good friends. And it is likely that by the dictates of his soul, this person comes to the light of your smile ...
Irina, Moscow
