A person who is convinced that he is a loser is not such a rarity anymore. Sometimes it seems that society itself gives rise to this type. For some reason, one always and everywhere succeeds, while others fail. What is the reason for this situation? Can I fix it? What if you are a loser? Is it difficult to re-educate yourself? How much time will it take? Are there any effective tricks to help stop failures?
Who is a loser?
A loser is a person who does not succeed, it is very easy for him to lose and give up. In the Western manner, such people are also called outsiders or losers. Whatever they do, their ventures rarely end in success. To say that this is stupid people can not. They just have a special type of thinking that attracts failure. This is not a disease or mental disorder, and that way of life that people choose for themselves, or the inner circle prompts them.
Immediately I recall the anecdote about his wife, who reproaches the unlucky husband.
"- You're the biggest loser in the whole world! Even if you had a competition for the most unlucky person, you would have taken second place!
- Why even the second?
- Yes, because - you're a loser! "
Often, this complex is formed in childhood. It is connected with the appropriate education. Then only strengthened in kindergarten, school, college and at work. The classic loser finally "ripens" in the period of maturation. It is then that “I am a loser” takes root in his head - a phrase that conditions all his life.
In America, they are called losers, with us - suckers. The more developed the country, the more difficult it is for a person to psychologically transfer his failures. In Japan, for example, a whole subculture of losers, which they call giganticori, was formed. These are young people who literally isolate themselves from society, tired of fighting for "a place under the Sun".
They sit at home for days and do not go anywhere. The only ones they see over the years are relatives and psychologists. In a country that exalts the cult of a workaholic, giggles are considered real outcasts, a shame for their family. The scale of this phenomenon is truly terrifying - more than 700,000 young Japanese. Such cases are known around the world, just their statistics are not kept.
The loser is absolutely no different from the winner in terms of anatomical or physiological parameters. The main feature of this type is the psychological attitude to failure. It forms his worldview, communication and actions that are distinguishable even by "the naked eye."
How to distinguish loser?
There are at least 10 signs of a loser that are easy to identify, and, if detected, you need to fix as soon as possible:
- Inability to manage your time;
- Spraying your efforts for nothing;
- Fear of liability;
- Programming yourself to fail;
- Eternal excuses;
- Communication difficulties with others;
- Tendency to postpone matters until later;
- Inertia and inaction;
- Inability to overcome difficulties;
- Apathy and indifference to everything that happens.
These properties are interrelated, complementing or becoming the cause of each other. Inability to manage personal time, coupled with the spraying of effort causes a waste of energy. In this regard, a person does not achieve what he intended. A load of negative experience programs for failure. It becomes much easier to carry things over later. This generates inertia, which complicates communication with people, makes a person unable to overcome obstacles.
He starts fear responsibilityShifts the blame on others, justifying itself. Gradually, this way of life causes a feeling of apathy. A person does not perceive the culprit of what is happening. Every time the thought “Why am I a loser?” Arises in his head, he searches for the reason for this in anyone but himself.
What if you are a loser?
It should be understood that you are doing wrong. Get yourself together and finally get used to accountability to yourself. It is also important to filter out your thoughts, remove all pessimism and negative from them. First of all, it is necessary to get rid of the obsessive stamp - "I am a loser in life." Even if a person stumbles a hundred times - this is not the whole life, but only its specific interval.
History is full of examples of people who succeeded only after many years of unsuccessful attempts:
- Ray Kroc - founder of the world famous network Mcdonald'sup to 52 years old sold paper cups and mixers;
- Walt Disney - received 302 refusals before he found a financier who was ready to invest in his ambitious project;
- Michael Jordan - the legendary American basketball player, in his early years did not even get into the basketball team;
- Eng li - Taiwanese director, was out of work for 6 years before his scripts won the competition;
- Thomas Edison - a brilliant inventor who made 10,000 unsuccessful experiments until he invented the light bulb.
If they did it, why does it not work for someone else? The main thing is to use several effective methods of overcoming failures.
Develop the ability to complete the job
It is necessary to analyze all their unfinished business. Choose the most important ones. Next, determine the sequence of their execution. Make a clear plan of action and begin to implement it. Carrying out his plan step by step, a person gradually gets used to the feeling of success, begins to believe in his own strength.
Revise your life
Often failures await people in those matters that do not suit them. Perhaps regular failures signal that the direction is not right. If you change the route, then everything will work out.
Become more diligent and responsible
You should not take on everything, but if something is already chosen, you should bring it to a logical conclusion. Do everything qualitatively and "from the heart." In this case, the loser is different from the lucky person because he allows himself to be a "lawmaker". The one who does the work efficiently and succeeds more often.
Collect a personal success story
Even the most unlucky people succeed in anything. Someone sings or draws beautifully, another knows the story well, the third knows how to embroider a cross. Just against the background of failures, these victories seem to fade. If you focus on them, daily adding to the list of small ones, but victories, then the general emotional background and self-confidence will increase markedly.
Set goals to be feasible
It is not surprising when a person who, for example, working as a loader or waiter, dreams of becoming a millionaire, starts feeling like a loser. First, he needs to change jobs to a more suitable one or find an additional source of income. Or move to a country with crazy inflation, where the minimum wage is in the millions.
The main thing to remember is that a loser is not a sentence, but a personal choice. Accordingly, it is up to everyone to decide whether he wants to become one or not. If so, then the ranks of losers will openly embrace their arms. If not, then it is urgent to revise your life, learn to take responsibility for it on yourself.
