Sometimes women, to their amazement, begin to realize that the husband does not want to work and not going to bring any income to the family.
It is not bad if this is just a temporary phenomenon, but a job search is still underway.
But it happens that a guy or a man does not try to look for a workplace, some even just pretend to calm their lady, and create comfortable conditions for yourself.
They are not confused even by the second half of pregnancy or maternity leave. Here a woman has a problem how to make a man workwhat actions should be on her part.
The reasons
Why a man does not want to work? The answer to this question will help analysis of the most common causes.
- The guy refers to the so-called Alfonso. The girl falls so much in love with a man who entangles her firmly with her charms, so much so that the lady is ready to maintain the beautiful parasite at her own expense. If this is the case, then fix a man is almost unreal. He can quickly leave a person dissatisfied with him and find himself easily a new source for a serene existence.
- Another option is when the young man is creative and waits his “finest hour”.
He mistakenly believes that success will overtake him sooner or later, and make the most efforts - below his dignity. Such a dreamer-husband often has dreams of changing the world.
- Elementary laziness does not allow to gather to look for work. From here the spouse prefers to sit all the time in front of the TV screen, pushing the necessary searches for later. It may take quite a long time until the lazy still come off the couch.
- Negative experience. Perhaps there was once a situation of failure, stress in the former workplace. Here we are talking about the loss of faith in their own strength, the fear of a new disappointment.
- Lack of required specialty. There is no opportunity to work in their profession, but I do not want to change it or receive a new education.
Each of the reasons requires a certain approach on the part of the spouse to save the family and help the second half with a job.
How to find out the truth about his unemployment?
How to determine: a man can not find work or just not looking for it? It happens that the wife or girlfriend can not understand the actions of his chosen one.
Is he really looking for a place or just pretending that he can't get a job.
You can not always remain in ignorance, you need to know exactly about his intentions, to build your life further, and not to pull on a person who is just lazy or because of the peculiarities of his character does not want to strain.
For starters, you can just try to heart to heart. Mention the material difficulties experienced by the family.
It is also possible to ask a question about the place of a man, the head of a family, his function as earner and welfare guardian all family members, especially if you have children. The response of the spouse to such conversations may indicate true intentions.
There is an option when the spouse herself finds a place and offers it.
If the husband happily agrees, then it is clear that he is really looking for work.
If dissatisfaction begins or some excuses promisesthat soon he should be called from a more solid company, and after some time there is silence, it is clear that the guy is not eager to find a job. His own quiet existence is more valuable to him.
What to do, if…
Much depends on the psychology of the chosen one, including the attitude to work. Alas, husbands are different.
The second half - "sissy"
Similar men from childhood are under guardianshipthey take it for granted that since childhood they have been doing everything for them.
The excessive love of the father and the mother fixed in the boy that he did not solve anything in his life.
Correction in this case, the spouse will be difficult to resist. Wife need to listen to psychology tips:
- tell her husband about his reliability highlighting its importance to the family, which in difficult cases always count on him;
- neat reminders that had he a job, everyone would have been better children would have new opportunities, and you can be pampered;
- all insults are forbiddenotherwise, they may give rise to retaliation and actions in spite.
Spouse - "Narcissus"
People of this type have a very high self-esteem. He believes that he deserves only a leadership position, and simple jobs - below his dignity. But, often all his beliefs are not based on anything.
There are no skills, high-quality performance of work only in words, in fact, he is not ready to perform it. To this end, waiting from his point of view more promising proposals that may never come.
Specialists advise the wife of such a self-lover and an egoist to limit money and reduce the pleasures bought on her earned money.
You can report that st problems, wages have been cut, so it is worth tightening the belt. Narcissus Required will want to continue the habitual way of life and eventually think about how to make money yourself.
The guy is "slow-witted"
It will take a lot of patience to make such a person work.
Usually he different slownesswill think for a long time in order for him to choose which place to occupy.
While he is thinking, even if a good offer comes to him, a tasty place can go to another, more determined man.
In this case, the wife must act decisively and push your mindlessness to an urgent decision. For this she needs:
- show all the advantages of the proposed place of work;
- praise the husband as a high-class specialist, saying that the time has come to realize oneself;
- actively dreaming aloud about the future, bearing in mind that everyone will work and earn decently.
Husband - Misanthrope
If the elect cannot boast of love for people, this does not mean that he is not capable of work. As a rule, he is not afraid of her. The thing is different. Misanthrope does not want to interact with society.
This type is experiencing considerable difficulties in elementor communication, almost unable to maintain discussions or even just talk with colleagues.
Scares him contact unpleasant people for him.
Wife should advise look for an alternative, help with remote work. In this case, the husband can earn seriously, as he will be alone, without the need for unpleasant communication.
The man is melancholic
This type includes impressionable representatives strong half of humanity.
They have a long time failing to get a job, especially if they have previously suffered a major failure.
They experience it for a long time and do not dare to start a new type of activity. They may feel that their infringe upon, underestimate.
The main task of a loving woman is to convince a loved one that he can do anything, he has enough strength and ability to do so. It is necessary to try hard to raise the self-esteem of her husband.
Well, if during this difficult period of his life the melancholic person will be treated kindly, there will be take care, often praise.
Of course, there should be no harsh comments, let alone rigorous criticism for minor blunders.
Usually, after such therapy, the spouses are getting better, the melancholic guy is strengthened in the thought that he capable of much.
Wife on maternity leave
Even harder to live with a non-working, if the spouse is on maternity leave. Thoughts about the unsettled future oppress the woman that will not add health to her or her unborn child.
In this case, it is better to push your loved one to take active steps than to take a wait-and-see attitude when he finally decides to take up business.
The challenge is to awaken in the husband the idea that taking care of children and wife first of all his duty.
It would not be superfluous to hint that working together, they would provide the child with all the best.
In the case when there is no response for a long time, you can proceed and open action. Be sure to wake up in man the instinct of the getter. Although, in recent times, women often assume this complex role, the man is still traditionally considered the head of the family.
How to make it work?
In most cases, if the chosen one is not an Alfonso and a deceased alcoholic, the problem with the employment of the spouse is solved. Even a heavy drinker able to take a pressure under certain pressure.
To make a young man work, one must first of all calm down, forget about the screams, scandals and harsh words. Most often, they only worsen the situation and set up negatively all family members.
First of all, you should try identify the cause of reluctance to work. Perhaps it is not as it seems. Once the cause has been established, the action must continue.
Most often it is:
- Intimate conversations about the future of the family, the welfare of children, interesting plans. We must not forget that even a man, no matter how strong he is, needs words of support.
- Ok if wife helps to regain lost confidence. Helps to raise self-esteem. If there are any doubts on the part of the husband in choosing a place and entering a job, one must convince him of the correctness of the choice, admiring him as a specialist and professional.
- In the case of remote work, create all conditions for fruitful activity, to introduce a certain order in the house, which will contribute to the earnings of the spouse.
In conclusion, it is worth noting that a man’s desire to work may largely depend on how his other half behaves, what role does she take in the family to her husbandWhat is the psychological climate in their relationship and in the house as a whole.
If you act with the mind and love for a loved one, then such a problem as the work of a spouse will be solved.
What if the husband does not work? Psychologist tips:
