If a villager is asked how to cope with the heartache after a difficult event, he will advise you to do business. There is work - there is no time to think. If you ask the same question to a Buddhist monk, he will recommend meditation, spiritual development. Mother of many children will say that the child will cure the inner emptiness. The rich man will answer that they will save purchases or promising investments. The volunteer will confidently declare that only disinterested kindness will relieve from sadness. Each method has its own.
Are there universal ways to get rid of heartache? It turns out that yes.
Move from past to future
It makes no sense to dwell on a problem from the past. If something bad has happened, it is unrecoverable, then it is better to accept this difficulty, to comprehend once, and then let it go forever. Instead of experiencing a difficult moment in thoughts again and again, it would be good to think about your future. You can think of several topics:
- will this complexity be important in a year, 5, 10, 20 years;
- how to build life further taking into account experienced events;
- what people want to see next;
- what dreams seem the most real, interesting, how to accomplish them;
- how to set clear goals, achieve your goals;
- what to do for your future today;
- who can be in 10 years and how.
It would seem that thoughts of the future will not make a person happy, because it is important to live for today. However, if you think about it, the answers to most of these questions will require action in the near future. Dreams, goals, ambitions, expectations - this is the future, but the steps to get them - the present.
Get rid of real reminders
Things of former partners, deceased relatives, old correspondence, newspaper clippings about other people's victories, instead of their own, all this leads to longing. Moreover, even gifts, once pleasant photos can cause pain. If you want to forget a person or an event, it's time to take up cleaning, take out the old trash.
It is better not to distribute these things to relatives, as bad energy is already associated with them. According to psychologists, burning will be a good option. It is important to say goodbye to each item. One can imagine how one by one threads break, connecting with someone or something unpleasant from the past.
Stop blaming anyone
Why is it better to let offense at others, to forgive yourself? If a person does not, he:
- fixes on the problem, “gets stuck” in it;
- ceases to notice the good around him;
- starts to ignore, run their own future;
- moving away from loved ones, depriving themselves of their support, assistance;
- constantly experiencing negative emotions;
- more often it suffers from psychosomatic diseases, neurology, colds, because immunity decreases due to stress;
- changes outwardly for the worse;
- deprives oneself of happiness, a chance to get it, to keep it.
What has been done is not to return, but you can forgive yourself. If the feeling of guilt gnaws more and more, it is better to come up with an unusual “punishment”. Positive, focused on helping others, nature, yourself. For example, charitable donations, building a house, refusing to use obscene words, smoking or drinking, etc. Why is this considered a punishment? Because it is difficult to perform, but then it will be easier to forgive yourself.
If another person is to blame, it is advisable to let go of the insult. This decision will help to breathe easily, because the secret evil is a burden. In addition, karma, the boomerang rule, the universal balance and God's punishment has not been canceled.
Take everything as an experience
Having solved a problem once, a person will be easier, faster to cope with similar or similar difficulties in the future. However, this will require the ability to translate their mistakes and life difficulties into a useful experience. How to do it?
For example, a girl recently experienced a break with her beloved boyfriend. She cannot or does not consider it necessary to return the former groom, but she still suffers from heartache. To turn bad into valuable, she will need to honestly, thoughtfully answer a few questions:
- what was done wrong, what the main reason for the break, what are additional;
- whether it was possible to correct the situation at any stage, how, if yes, and why, if not;
- is the ex-boyfriend really the man who is needed;
- what was good about the relationship, for which you can and should say “thank you”;
- whether there was a third party influence or a snag was only in a pair;
- how to change your negative traits to please “that guy”;
- which should never be repeated in the future;
- what a good parting gave (freedom, security, getting rid of stress, for example).
By analogy, these questions are easily adapted to other situations. For example, “Why was I fired, is it my fault?” “What can I do to win the next contest? and so forth
Pay attention to your speech
Not only thoughts, but also words are material. If a happy person constantly utters the words “I don’t want to live”, “I am tired (a)”, “Life is unfair”, then soon he will really become ill. The brain perceives such phrases as installations and in accordance with them gives signals to the whole body.
For the same reason, it is advisable to say good words more often - from elementary “Good morning”, “Thank you” to “Life is beautiful!”.
Find Teachers
In nature, society, there is nothing that is completely unique. The same difficulties happen to dissimilar people in different periods. If your situation seems hopeless, it is better to try to find a person who has already been through this, ask him for advice. You can search for recommendations:
- in the circle of relatives, friends, their acquaintances;
- on the forums of interest;
- on the official pages of psychologists, psychotherapists, rhythmologists, similar specialists;
- in groups of social networks;
- at meetings, peaceful meetings devoted to the desired issue;
- from believers, but not fanatical people.
Sometimes a completely stranger becomes a Teacher, but his advice turns out to be the most valuable.
Do not repel random joys
Delving into the problem, experiences, a person begins to ignore everything that happens around. The girl after the break in relations does not see what kind of loving eyes her neighbor boy is looking at her. An employee who is not accepted for the vacancy he is interested in does not even open mail, although other lucrative offers have already accumulated there. The man who lost his wife in a car accident, grieving, not noticing how his little daughter is preparing breakfast, trying to replace her mother, to get fatherly attention.
Even after the most heavy losses life goes on. Sometimes it is better to give a chance to yourself and others - go on a new date, look at another job, have fun with a loving child.
Recall other areas of life
The main areas of life:
- family;
- love;
- Job;
- self-realization;
- self-development - spiritual, intellectual, moral, etc .;
- material aspect;
- hobbies, interests;
- health;
- status, significance, popularity in society.
If the problem occurs in one of these areas, do not forget about the other eight. Perhaps it makes sense to take a breather in some area, even to start its progress with the flow, to switch to other options. Then there will be a chance that the problem will disappear on its own along with the emptiness in the soul. Employment in any field will not leave room for negative thoughts.
These tips will tell you how to cope with heartache. But forever to say goodbye to the heavy inner feeling will not be possible without appropriate efforts. A person who wants to regain joy, can achieve this only after passing through the changes inside himself or in the environment. Any changes require sincere desire, strength, so you have to try hard for your own happiness. But isn't it worth it?
