Every woman wants to get married.
When her dream comes true, in family life, difficulties often begin to arise, about which the representative of the weaker sex had no idea.
Male selfishness is one of these problems.
Concept and Psychology
After the wedding, men return to their usual way of life and often begin to demonstrate not the best of their qualities.
If the spouse can, without hesitation, eat the last piece of cake or, without any embarrassment, slam the door in front of his wife’s bathroom, despite the fact that she is late - there are all signs of selfishness. Such behavior in families is not uncommon.
An egoist is a person who protects his personal interests as a shrine and places him above all. All thoughts of such an individual revolve around him alone.
The egoist takes only its benefits and needs. The life philosophy of these people is extremely simple and consists of just one word - give.
The problem is that they rarely give something in return and are not used to thinking about others. Selfish natures possess pronounced characteristics and behavior, by which they can accurately determine:
- Such people not used and can not listen to others. The egoist is inattentive to the interlocutor, often interrupts him and demonstrates complete indifference to the topic of conversation, if it does not concern him personally.
- Selfish person don't hesitate to cancel the scheduled meeting and thwart other people's plansif his mood has changed or a more interesting offer has appeared. They never think about the inconvenience caused to other people.
- Ignore the interests of others for such a person in the order of things. They take his favor for granted and rarely thank, and if they do, it is more for the view than from the heart.
- Egoist looks at other people through the prism of utility. He prefers to communicate with those who can give him something or help him. As a rule, such a person is not able to respond.
- The word “egoism” has Latin roots - “ego”, meaning “me”. In practice, this means that such an individual considers himself to be special. In his understanding, he is superior to all others and deserves special attention.
Hence his desire to dominate and manipulate other people in order to achieve their own goals and well-being.
Communicate and live with an egoist very difficult. He constantly tries to solve his problems at the expense of others, does not consider it necessary to help his acquaintances, relatives and devil-may-care treats their needs and desires.
Signs of Male Egoism
During the flower and candy period men often try to please darling and show their best side.
However, it is during this period that women need to exercise special vigilance and ingenuity so as not to associate their further fate with a narcissistic individual.
Exists a number of distinctive features male egoism, recognizing that a woman can make the right decision and avoid many problems in the future:
- The man always thoroughly shaved, dressed, well-groomed. He regularly visits the gym, he smells of expensive perfume, but at the same time does not consider it necessary to congratulate his darling on his birthday or other memorable date.
In his understanding, he is the center of the galaxy. And the fact that he turned his attention to a woman is already a gift for her.
- Such individuals usually earn good money or strive for itsince sure to deserve all the best.
- In a relationship, egoists put their desires and whims in the first place. A man with similar inclinations will demand their momentary satisfaction, regardless of the problems, mood and employment of the second half.
- Selfish husbands do not do housework at all.. They consider themselves, in the first place, earners. Therefore, having come from work, they will not even strike a finger. Cleaning, washing, cooking, help with the child and other household chores, in their representation exclusively women's care.
- Man selfish does not refuse anything to itself. He can spend all the money for his whims, while the woman will be limited in funds and be content with little.
- Similar traits appear even in small things. If the guy without a twinge of conscience eats the last or the most tasty morsel and considers it to be normal, there is a typical egoist in front of the girl.
- In intimate relationships, such men behave in the same way. Their do not care about the needs and desires of your partner. The main thing is to enjoy yourself.
- To argue with an egoist and try to prove something to him is completely useless.. He hears only himself and never admits his mistakes.
- In a society of relatives and friends, selfish husbands always praise their success and merit in every way, belittling his wife's contribution to the common cause. In some cases, such individuals do not disdain to pass on the achievements of women for their own.
Representatives of the fair sex should remember that it is extremely difficult to rehabilitate a man of the egoist, in some cases it is almost impossible.
In the early stages of a relationship in a period of falling in love, these qualities may not be so acute. However, later they will inevitably declare themselves in full force and then they will have to make a decision - walk away from husband or fight for your happiness.
What should a woman do?
Loving wives always suffer when faced with a similar problem.
After all, before the wedding husband seemed like a different person.
And now he no longer interested in her desires, puts his needs above the needs of the children, can at any time break into a visit or fishing, leaving the spouse alone at home with a bunch of problems and household chores.
Sooner or later, the women who are in a similar situation, the question arises - what to do next?
Breaking relationships and leaving the family is a last resort. First, it makes sense to talk with your husband about the urgent problem, take a series of actions and several change your own behavior:
- It should be slowly start to introduce husband to housework. It is not necessary to immediately charge all the chores around the house. Responsibility for homeliness and hearth still rests on the fragile shoulders of the hostess.
But the spouse must also do what he can, feeling himself involved in housework.
- Required stop putting husband's wishes above your own. Having turned into a gray mouse without the right to vote, the wife loses the chance to change something in family relationships.
- If a man watches himself, keeps himself in good shape and looks impeccable, then this is very commendable. But also woman should not lag behind himso you need to worry about your own development. If the spouse completely rejects going to the cinema, theaters or museums - this is not a reason to give up your favorite leisure activities. You need to live a full life. Broadening horizons, new acquaintances and interests will have a positive impact on family relationships.
- At certain times need to be able to show perseverance and demanding. You should not sacrifice your point of view just because the husband does not listen and constantly interrupts. Harmony in family relationships involves a dialogue, not a monologue. It is necessary to convey to the consciousness of her husband that his behavior is unacceptable.
- Making scandals makes no sense. This is more likely to harm relationships than help to improve them. Homely atmosphere should be calm, relaxing and emotional conversations.
- No need to tell your spouse that he is wrong. You can offer him your own solution to the problem and bring him to the point that this would be better.
- In the company of friends and acquaintances you can not allow her husband to diminish their dignity. If he really deserves it, he should be praised. But to baselessly encourage the already overestimated ego of your man is highly discouraged. The egoist is dependent on the opinions of others. He wants people to admire him and adore him, taking it for granted.
Therefore, it is necessary to stop the flight of his fantasy, saying thanks to him only for real deeds, and not those that he invented or attributed to himself.
Sometimes life is selfish it becomes unbearable. Loving women often make an effort and accept their husbands as they are.
However, it’s still not worth giving up ahead of time. If you cannot rehabilitate a selfish man by your own efforts, you can always seek advice from experienced professionals.
Psychology tips
The problem reeducation The spouse of an egoist usually perplexes women who have been married for a long time.
At one time they decided to keep the family and are determined return harmony to relationships.
Councils of psychologists in this case are simply invaluable.
How to communicate with such a man?
Psychologists give a number of helpful recommendations for womenwho are in this difficult situation:
- not indulge in all the whims of a narcissistic spouse at his first word;
- keep a spirit of mind and optimism;
- to give husbands deserved compliments and do not stint ecstatic speech;
- maintain conversations with the spouse on topics of interest to him;
- Show understanding and patience.
Even a small correction in the behavior and communication of a woman can lead to a positive result.
How to behave?
Every person to a certain extent is selfish.
If the level of self-esteem and self-esteem is at an adequate level, then this causes no problems.
The situation changes when the spouse becomes overly selfish and arrogant. With such men women need to be able to behave correctly:
- in order not to be emotionally empty, you need to pay attention to yourself no less than your husband;
- the spouse must be periodically reminded that the world does not rotate around him alone;
- teach him to appreciate the help and services he receives at home;
- try to express your thoughts and desires for his own.
Many women underestimate the extent of their influence on their soul mate. In the struggle with the egoism of the husband, it is necessary to use the entire existing arsenal of possibilities.
How to re-educate?
Do not expect quick results.. The process of re-education can take many years. But if the case does not belong to the category of running, it is definitely worth trying:
- speak frankly with her husband, expressing his complaints in a mild form;
- if the conversation did not have the effect, make a clear plan of action on re-education and follow it;
- start to defend their interests;
- stop unnecessarily patronizing a spouse;
- convey to him that there are other people nearby with their desires and whims.
Everyone wants to live happily and in harmony with family. If a man is interested in maintaining relationships, he will attempt to change after the first thorough conversation.
How to live with him?
Continue living with a narcissistic spouse or leave every woman decides for herself.
Experts give a number of recommendations for women who have chosen hearth saving way:
- do not try to intimidate your husband by your departure from the family;
- to reconsider their behavior, perhaps in it lies the causes of spouse selfishness;
- do not contradict and avoid disputes;
- if re-husband failed to adapt to the life that exists.
Selfish husband - this is not a sentence of marriage, as many believe. If a woman is interested in maintaining relationships, then with love, patience and respect she can achieve a lot.
What if a man is an egoist? Find out from the video:
