I recently read a wonderful book by the professor of psychology at Stanford University, Carol Duke. In the original, the book is called “Mindset: The new psychology of success” (“Thinking (attitudes): A new psychology of success”). The Russian name was translated as "Flexible Consciousness". I must say that I really liked this book. This article contains a review of the book and some of my explanations and additions to the main content of this work.
At the end of the post I wrote a few of my thoughts, which develop and explain the ideas of the author. Therefore, I hope that this post will be interesting not only to those who are going to read the book, but also to those who have read it.
Key questions of the book
In her book, Carol Duke answers the following questions:
- Are all human beings born with nature's qualities (intellect, strength, creativity, character traits) once and for all, or can these qualities be changed during life?
- Some people believe that talented individuals do not need to make any effort to engage in the activities that lie in the field of their talent. Everything seems to be given to these people easily and effortlessly. And if they have to make an effort, it means that they are not talented enough. Is it really so?
- Many people believe that a person without talent is doomed to be a loser. And no matter how hard he tries, whatever efforts he makes, he will forever remain in the shadow of talented luckies and will never be as successful as they are. Is this opinion correct?
- What kind of people actually achieve greater success in their careers, in family relationships, in sports, in personal development: those who maintain a belief in the immutability of their own innate qualities (whether they are “geniuses by nature” or people who are convinced of their own natural talent) those individuals who believe that personal qualities can be developed, no matter what capabilities nature gives these people?
- How does belief in invariable human qualities affect human psychology? What is the difference between a person with an attitude towards the development of his qualities and people with an attitude towards the fact that qualities are given to them by nature in an unchanged form? How can different attitudes affect success, personal life, self-conceit, reaction to criticism, attitude to other people?
- How to develop in yourself, in your children, colleagues, students, those personality attitudes that respond to the development of the personality and its innate talents?
Installation on a given and installation on growth
Answering these questions, the author introduces two central concepts: the installation on a given and the installation on growth. People with the installation on the reality think to themselves: "I am what I am, I can not change, all my qualities are predetermined." People with a growth attitude consider: "any qualities can be developed. A person is not what he is, but what he has become!"
Often there is a place to be a mixed installation. Some people, for example, are convinced that intelligence can be developed, but creative abilities cannot be. Or vice versa.
In my article, myth 1 - I cannot change myself, I wrote that the most dangerous human error is the belief that personality is given to us from birth, and we cannot influence it in any way. I wrote that people with such conviction do not use the possibility of self-development, since they simply do not believe in such an opportunity.
As a result, they remain at the level of their "natural development", while people with a growth attitude develop and become happier and more successful, because they know that personal qualities can be developed, and character can be changed.
At the very basis of self-development, spiritual self-improvement, there is a belief in the development of one’s own potential, in another language, a focus on growth. Without setting on the growth of self-development is simply impossible.
That is why in one of my first articles I wrote that everyone can change themselves. In it, I recalled how the discovery of what I can make of myself the person that I always wanted to be, changed my life!
All my ideas, you can say, grow out of the installation on growth, the desire for development and personal metamorphosis. Outside of this setup, these ideas would have no meaning.
“Why develop yourself, why meditate, to become better and happier, if you cannot change your personality?” - Many people might think.
I consider such arguments very dangerous, as they deprive people of the best opportunities. But, having read the book of Carol Duke, I realized that setting it to a given is much more dangerous than I thought before!
It turns out that setting on a given not only hinders your success and self-improvement, but also makes you less self-confident, more vain, forms an inability to adequately assess yourself and perceive someone else’s criticism. Setting it on a given spoils your relationship, your career and your happiness.
People with installation on a given, as a rule:
- Poorly controlled emotions
- Afraid of failures
- They sabotage long-term goals because they are trying to satisfy momentary desires.
- They can not adequately assess their strengths and weaknesses.
- Fail failures in business
- Envy
- Do not know how to adequately perceive criticism
- Do not develop
- Subject to depression and chronic discontent
- Depend on success
- Many are justified
- Blame other people for their failures. They can not take responsibility for themselves
- Afraid of change
- They can not deal with problems in love relationships. Relationships often do not add up.
- Can not forgive
- Suffer shyness
- Find joy in humiliating other people
- Broadcast their installation to their children, subordinates, students
These qualities can be caused by setting on a given. True, this does not mean that any person with this installation will have such qualities. Also, this does not mean that only the installation on a given gives rise to these shortcomings. Do not think that people with a growth attitude are completely free from these shortcomings. But between them and the installation on a given, there is a big connection.
If you read the book, you will understand that the human faith in the immutability of the individual, in the innate talent can generate a lot of unpleasant consequences.
Setting on a given is a rotten foundation of the human person that makes your “I” unstable and fragile, weak and dependent. And the installation on growth is a strong support for your building, which makes it strong and allows you to grow up!
Curse of geniuses
Someone reading this list will think that these evils are only the lot of people who are untalented by nature, whereas geniuses do not threaten great talents, even if they do not believe that personality can be changed.
The author of the book cites many convincing examples of how success and belief in his own genius have ruined great athletes, politicians and businessmen, even if these people really had outstanding abilities!
High self-conceit, criticism, fear of failure, unwillingness to develop and make efforts are connected with the installation on a given. And it was these qualities that dragged really talented and capable people into the abyss of failures. Awareness of their natural genius made their heads spin and made them forget that in life, in order to achieve something, it is not enough just to be a genius or a talent, but you have to work a lot. Inflated arrogance, a sense of personal uniqueness, a sense of superiority have become the curse of many talented people!
In contrast, Carol Duke talks about people who have never shown great talent in childhood, but have become outstanding people. And this is not just some mediocrity, which then with blood and was able to achieve some kind of success that is available only to true geniuses and talents. These are really famous artists (Shelves), athletes (Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan - the most famous basketball player in the world!) And businessmen.
Who would have thought that Michael Jordan was not a golden child, who was already throwing a “three-pointer” from the crib into the basket. He did not show outstanding achievements in childhood. And, as he himself admits, his entire brilliant career is the result of hard work on himself and a long succession of failures.
The text is replete with examples from the life of various famous people. The downside is that the book is most likely originally written for American readers. Therefore, these examples often feature national heroes of the league of American football or baseball, American businessmen, that is, people whom the European or Russian reader has never heard of.
But because of this, I believe these examples do not become less revealing.
The author proves that intelligence, character and even creative abilities are amenable to development! And many people who are considered “geniuses” actually had to work hard to become what they became.
Why is the installation on a given fact so fatal impact on the life and character of a person? Why she breaks career and destroys fate? I wrote questions and facts, but did not provide answers and explanations.
You will find all the explanations in this book, and I highly recommend it to you to read.
If there was my will, I would forcibly give it to school and university teachers, coaches and parents so that these people would stop instilling in the younger generation a ruinous belief in the immutability of personal qualities.
I believe in the exceptional social role of this book, it can be very useful both for an individual and for society as a whole.
The virtues of the book
The book is read easily and quickly, despite the fact that it is quite voluminous. The language, the structure of the text, the use of examples - everything is done at a very high level. When I read, I tried to learn the brilliant logic of the development of the author’s thoughts in order to improve my writing skills.
Also, I should note, an excellent translation, which conveyed the magnificent language of this book.
My wife, for example, considered the book to be overwhelmed and it seemed to her that there were too many examples in it and they all over and over again only repeat the main ideas of Carol Duke.
I can not agree with her that after you grasp the main idea of the text, it becomes more boring to read further. But, first, in each example I found something new, fresh and easily read the book to the end. The author avoids literal self-repetitions.
Secondly, I do not see anything wrong in illustrating once again the ideas that underlie the book, ideas that are undoubtedly important and significant. Still, this is not a math textbook, and the book is not about abstract truths that are enough to hear once to remember.
The book talks about the things that underlie the foundation of the individual. And in order for a person to move from a disastrous installation to a given one to a beneficial growth installation, it is not enough to tell him once that a growth installation is cool and useful.
As the author herself says:
“It’s not easy to say goodbye to something that you have considered to be your self for many years, which served as a source of self-esteem for you. It is especially difficult to replace it with an installation that encourages you to open your arms to meet with what you always perceived as a threat with difficulties, struggle, criticism and defeats "
In other words, it’s not always easy to get rid of the installation. I am not saying that a growth set should be instilled with monotonous repetitions. The author simply fits the description of the role of our attitudes from different sides of life: from the side of relationships, from the side of a career, from the side of parenting children, from playing sports, from friendship. And in each of these descriptions gives its examples.
This helps the reader to draw parallels of the examples of the book with his life and more deeply realize the destructive role of the installation on a given and with this understanding move towards changing his installations. The last chapter of the book is called "how to change the installation." But, in my opinion, the very reading of the book is already a change in the installation!
I stopped believing in innate qualities and in the invariance of character even before I read this book. But despite this, I was still very interested to read it, I learned a lot of new things. Moreover, it will be interesting and useful for people who believe that they cannot change themselves and reap all the bitter fruits of this conviction.
In order not to be limited only to the review of the book, I, as I promised at the beginning, would like to supplement and develop some thoughts of the author and tell a little about examples from my own life.
Book additions
Depression
In one of the chapters, the author writes about the connection between the installation on a given and depression. When studies were conducted on the behavior of students suffering from depression, they found that students with attunement suffer from more severe forms of depression than students with attitudes to growth. Why?
Students from the first set (setting on a given) lowered their hands when depression overtook them. They stopped attending lectures and studying, and instead stayed at home, where they indulged in thoughts of their worthlessness. And students from the second set (growth) went to couples, worked hard, despite the depression, so they had less time for nagging and self-pity (yes, an example of these people especially for you, my dear readers, who say that during the depression something to do well by no means “cannot”). Naturally, such actions alleviated the symptoms of depression.
The author explains this attitude to the failures of people of both types.
I would like to make some more connection between attitudes and depression. Many people suffering from depression often explain the onset of the disease by their own personality (“I was always too emotional, I was a lot worried and often hung up on myself”). There is nothing terrible in this; I myself believe that depression is not just a curse that can hit everyone, but the resultant effect of the characteristics of your personality.
But the danger is that many of these people are convinced that they can not do anything with themselves and be cured of depression. "I am such a person, I am naturally restless and shy, I have a tendency to suffer, I am melancholic. So here I am, and therefore depression will always accompany me."
It is in man that the setting is given. People who believe that the character can be changed, try to do it and often achieve good results and get rid of depression (as I did). But people who do not believe in the opportunity to change, do not do anything, shrug their shoulders and only know what to whine about how miserable they are.
The role of attitudes in culture
The author notes how strong the role of attitudes in society and in our perception of people. People are accustomed to admire someone's innate talent, and not someone else's efforts.
We say with a gasp and admiration: "he is a genius", "this is talent", "a person from God", when we listen to some kind of musical work, watch someone play in sports competitions, read literature.
And when we say so, we don’t even want to think about how much effort this person put into his work, how many failures he suffered before becoming what he is now.
And this is because we want to see in those whom we adore, special people, celestials, and not ordinary men or women who have earned their fame only by sweat and blood. "They are not like us, so we admire them."
I absolutely agree that this is what happens in the world of people. I would just like to extend this idea a little to other ideas of our culture.
Setting on a given is very deeply rooted in public opinion. I am convinced that faith in horoscopes, signs of the zodiac is a symptom of the installation on a given. Not far from this faith, the belief in temperaments, psycho-types, more adapted to the scientific terminology, has gone.
When we say: "I am Scorpio", "I am melancholic", we thereby proclaim the presence of some unchanging qualities given to us from birth either by the will of nature or by the will of the stars.
Therefore, I consider horoscopes and all sorts of psychological tests designed to identify your personality type as harmful distributors of a given setting.
About genius
The author casually concerns one important idea on which I want to stop. In the book, the idea that geniuses form not only phenomenal innate abilities, but also their obsession with some idea, jumps through!
People believe that if they are deprived of natural abilities, for example, in mathematics, in playing chess, then they should not even try to achieve anything in this area.
Although, it's not just about abilities.
Bobby Fisher is one of the most famous chess players in the world, a former world champion. He was a very eccentric, painful man, so he must have been a classic genius for many people, a man in whose head, in their opinion, a chess computer was installed from birth.
But you know what Bobby Fisher did when ordinary people went to school and sat in class? Played chess, trained! And what did he do when these people grew up and hugged the girls in the back rows of cinemas? He played chess, the girls did not interest him!
Он был этим одержим, он сделал свой выбор, шахматы, а не учеба, шахматы, а не девушки! Он тренировался и работал над своей игрой целыми днями, и это позволило стать ему чемпионом мира! Что бы стало с Бобби Фишером, если бы он думал "я гений, мне не нужно тренироваться, чтобы выигрывать". Я думаю, он бы тогда не прошел дальше каких-то мелких городских соревнований.
Гениальность, как мы видим, обуславливается не только большой удачей получить в подарок от природы какой-то особенный мозг. Гений формирует упорная работа и одержимость. Способность пожертвовать многими возможностями и желаниями ради одной цели. И даже многим гениям приходится упорно трудиться, чтобы кем-то стать…
Поэтому не бросайте свои идеи и мечты только потому, что вы считаете, что природа не наделила вас выдающимися способностями. Именно упорная работа позволяет людям достигать своей мечты, а вовсе не врожденные качества. А качества развиваются в ходе этой работы.
Если вы будете развивать все свои способности, не станете сдаваться на достигнутом, то в будущем вы сможете развить в себе такие умения, о способностях к которым вы даже и не догадывались! И тогда, быть может, люди с установкой на данность скажут про вас: "какой талант", "должно быть этот человек одарен от природы"! И они даже не будут догадываться о том, что никакого врожденного дара не было, а были труд и развитие!
Развитие установки
Последняя глава книги называется "Развивайте свою установку". Глава дает хорошие советы, как можно развить установку на рост в своих детях, учениках и друзьях.
На мой взгляд, хорошим способом развить в людях установку на рост - это рассказывать им о роли труда, усилий, анализа ошибок в успехе любого начинания на чьем-то примере или на своем собственном.
В своем прошлом обзоре литературы о саморазвитии я рассказал о том, как после прочтения книги я применил прием из нее на своих соседях, которые мешали мне спать. Здесь я продолжу эту традицию и расскажу, как я попытался научить своего коллегу по работе установке на рост.
Мой коллега находится сейчас в поиске работы, но дела с этим у него идут не очень. Как мне кажется, это происходит потому, что он ленится и считает, что работа должна сама находить человека.
Несколько дней назад он стал говорить о том, что "работа никак не ищется". Я спросил: "неужели работу так трудно найти?" Мой коллега, квалифицированный молодой специалист, ищет работу в Москве и поэтому его слова вызвали недоумение у меня. Мне казалось, что проблем в поиске работы быть не должно для него.
На мой вопрос он ответил: "Может тебе найти и легко. Ты ловкий и умеешь болтать языком. А я не могу найти, потому что я не такой человек".
Вот она установка на данность в действии! Его слова можно перевести как: "есть проблема, но она в принципе нерешаема, потому что я такой человек! От меня ничего не зависит". Установка на данность лишает людей чувства ответственности и способности как-то повлиять на ситуацию. "Я такой человек, что я могу сделать?"
(Примечание 23.01.2014:Именно поэтому, на мой взгляд, установка на данность так притягательна и от нее бывает так сложно избавиться. Мне кажется, что часто многие люди верят в невозможность измениться не потому, что им это мнение навязали, а потому, что они хотят в это верить. Признание того, что все качества можно изменить, оборачивается ответственностью за все, что с человеком происходит. Раз ты можешь все изменить, значит ты за все отвечаешь, значит только ты виноват в том, что твоя жизнь сложилась так, а не иначе. У тебя была возможность изменить себя и свою жизнь, но ты ей не воспользовался. А установка на данность помогает снять эту ответственность с себя. «Я такой человек, я таким родился, мне просто не повезло, я ни в чем не виноват. Я ленивый, глупый, бездарный, что я могу с собой поделать? Поэтому я бы хотел добавить автору, что развивая установку на рост нужно также развивать чувство личной ответственности в человеке. Эти две вещи идут рука об руку»)
Сначала я объяснил коллеге, что его проблема связана не с тем, что он такой человек, а с тем, что он, возможно, что-то неправильно делает. Естественно, я не стал рассказывать про установку на данность и установку на рост, хотя накануне закончил чтение книги об установках. Вместо того, чтобы прибегать к теории, я рассказал коллеге, что, прежде чем устроится на настоящую работу, я год(!!!) ходил по собеседованиям, параллельно с этим работая на другой работе.
Я посетил собеседований 50 и сначала не получал ничего кроме отказов. Отказ за отказом. Но я постепенно набирался опыта, и мои выступления на интервью при приеме на работу становились все лучше и лучше. При этом я не ждал, пока работа найдет меня сама. В день я отправлял по несколько десятков резюме в разные фирмы. Я не просто разместил резюме и ждал, когда на него ответят.
Я советовался со знакомыми HR-ами по вопросам, как лучше это резюме составить. Я его постоянно переделывал и дорабатывал. Я менял свою тактику поведения на собеседовании и наблюдал за реакцией на мои ответы.
И мое умение говорить на собеседовании - не следствие моего таланта, а следствие опыта и труда! Если бы не опыт, если бы не мои усилия, я бы так и работал на какой-нибудь унылой работенке.
Я попытался доказать, что мои навыки не появились просто так, что у меня тоже сначала многое не получалось в поиске работы, и если мой коллега будет продолжать также пассивно ждать, когда работа к нему придет сама, то он ничего стоящего не найдет.
Если честно, мне не показалось, что мои слова возымели эффект, но если в данном случае не сработало, не значит, что это не работает вообще.
Все-таки, если вы хотите устранить установку на данность в своих детях или учениках, чаще рассказывайте им с каким трудом вам удалось развить то, что они считают вашим талантом.
Вера в людей
Установка на рост, на мой взгляд, наделяет человека верой в людей. Если человек сам верит в то, что все его успехи и достижения явились результатом вложенных усилий, а не того, что он родился каким-то особенным, то он знает, что и другие люди способны на многие успехи и изменения, если они постараются.
Человек с установкой на рост не говорит: "ты безнадежен", "ты туп", "из тебя ничего не выйдет". Он судит по людям по тому, чего они достигли благодаря своему труду, а не по тому, кем они являются от рождения. Для него люди не делятся на бездарей и гениев, посредственностей и дарований. Он видит в каждом человеке потенциал и способности этот потенциал развить.
Такой верой в людей наделил меня опыт собственных преобразований. Раз я смог измениться до неузнаваемости, исправить то, что всегда считал врожденным недостатком, почему другие люди не смогут?
Только когда я поверил в себя, я смог поверить в других людей.
Раньше я оценивал людей по тому, насколько они особенные. Я думал, что одни люди особенные, а другие - посредственности, и изменить этот предустановленный порядок никак нельзя. Теперь я считаю, что каждый человек - это средоточие возможностей, и его развитие зависит не от слепого природного или божественного произвола, который раздает людям их способности и недостатки, а от самого человека!
Из установки на рост произрастает свобода и определенность, тогда как установка на данность лежит в узах подчинения, зависимости и случайности!
