It is natural to dislike any person, especially if he has offended. But sometimes hatred extends not to one person, but to a category of people. This includes the misandry - the hatred of men. Some women may rashly say: "I hate a man!". This is not necessarily a misandry. Sometimes someone can summarize in this way their attitude towards a certain person or a particular situation. Hate is the feeling of hostility and hostility that a person has for a long time.
On the one hand, it is reasonable to assume that absolutely all men in the world could not offend one person. However, some women have a strong hostility towards all members of the opposite sex. How to deal with it? First you need to learn more about the possible causes of this feeling.
The reasons
A woman - namely, they most often suffer from a misandry, they do not always understand where their emotions come from. Not surprising, because sometimes the reasons lie deep in the subconscious. Most often it is:
-
childhood trauma; - betrayal;
- low self-esteem;
- mental and emotional illnesses.
childhood trauma;Sometimes girls don't even want to admit to themselves that they have a painful hatred of guys. Therefore, it will be useful to consider common situations with fictional characters.
Children's injury. Anna is sure - she does not need men. Her mother, Julia Alekseevna, was for a long time married to Anna's father - a rude and uncouth man who often beat his wife for every little thing. Once Anna stood up for her mother, and fell for her. After that, they went to their grandmother, and Anna did not see her father again. Anyone who later tried to build relationships with Yulia Alekseevna were either drinkers or unreliable. On questions about my mother's gentlemen, Anna heard only one thing: “You need a father!”. Since then, Anna is sure of two things: in every man there is something low and mean, and she definitely does not need them.
Irina lives alone, often goes to her parents - they live together for many years and are happily married. Unlike all her friends, she never wanted to meet, even in her youth. On the contrary, when someone shows signs of attention to her, she experiences negative feelings, sometimes even panic attacks. Ira does not remember that when she was three years old, her mother's brother sought her, who came to visit him once. She remembers her uncle very vaguely, but she absolutely does not tolerate men nearby.
Betrayal. Alena has been married for over 20 years. She always loved her husband, and he loved her. For his sake, she left her hometown and studies at the institute - and never regretted it. Her family became everything in her life, their happiness was envied by her friends and relatives. But everything collapsed in one day. The husband said he loved another. He took the suitcase, which they bought to go on vacation together, folded shirts there, ironed by her hands yesterday. And left. Now Alena knows for sure that nobody needs love in this world. And all marriages, even the happiest ones, will someday break up due to the baseness and infidelity of men.
Low self-esteem. At school Nastya liked one boy. But the whole class laughed at her because of her glasses, short stature and red hair. And when that boy also joined these jokes, her self-esteem collapsed completely. Nastya grew up long ago, but never learned to love herself. And along with this growing and hostility to men. Nastya is sure that they are all too stupid and ignorant, they simply cannot see something good in a woman.
Mental and emotional illnesses. Close people consider Olesya to be hysterical. It hurts her and it hurts, because she does not want to scream and cry because of a trifle. But it is worth someone from the familiar guys something to catch her, as she loses control of herself. She is already beginning to feel that she certainly cannot be guilty of her hysterics, because in other circumstances this does not happen to her. So blame the guys who do not know how to behave. Olesya avoids old acquaintances and does not want to get acquainted with men in principle.
Helen suffers from the fact that she lost her memory. Sometimes she finds herself in places she did not intend to go at all, and does not remember how she got there. At the same time, her friends sometimes ask her why she does not tolerate men like this, although it seems to her that she always treated them normally. She just does not remember what happened to her during her last meeting with someone. Later, at the doctor, Elena learned that she suffers from a dissociative disorder and needs treatment.
Manifestations
Women who suffer from misandria do not always avoid contact with men. But often their line of behavior indicates a lack of trust in them. This can be manifested in the desire to control every step of the guy and manage it.
In addition, a misandry can manifest itself in ridicule, rudeness and just plain ugly behavior. Sometimes women are looking for a reason to blame the man for something or provoke him to rudeness.
Very often, this attitude is transmitted to children. They become withdrawn, distrustful or rude. It is difficult for them to find their place in society, and they feel rejected.
What can be done
First of all, you need to understand that a misandria is an unhealthy and unnatural state. Its cause is not just stress or anxiety, but a serious psychological trauma, which over time can aggravate and have more serious manifestations. This condition adversely affects the woman herself and her loved ones.
If a misandry is the result of a father’s behavior, you should try to look at it from the perspective of an adult. It may not be possible to understand it, and it is not necessary, but it is worth making an effort to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean condoning bad behavior. It means being able to get rid of negative feelings towards a person or a situation, all the more so because only those who experience them are ill.
In addition, you need to recognize the individuality of each. No one will argue that among women there are also rude, infidel and vile. And none of the girls would not like to be equated with such women. Men are different too. There are women who can say: “I was married three times, and all three were terrible people!” Does this mean that all other men are the same? Or should these women think about what they pay attention to when choosing a husband? Or how to behave with your life partner?
Considering that the cause of hatred towards men is usually a psychological trauma, specialist help may be required. Following his advice, remembering the importance of forgiving and the uniqueness of each person, one can learn to look at men correctly.
