According to statistics, a third of divorces occur due to male adultery. No one is immune from this. But the traitors have a very convenient explanation for their own infidelity: "A man is polygamous by nature, he needs this." From the distant ancestors we are separated by a long process of socialization, cultural, moral and moral values. Perhaps polygamous - just a convenient mask, covering treason? Is monogamy unnatural? Who is more polygamous: men or women? Answers - in the article.
What is polygamy
Polygamy is a form of marriage in some nations, allowing simultaneous cohabitation with several spouses. Initially, the term meant exclusively polygamy: life with several wives legally. From the multiplicity in the sexual issue are other types of marriage - polygyny, polyandry, group marriage.
Etymologically derived from Greek words pol'y - lot and gamos - marriage. The Russian language passed their Western European in the middle of the XVIII century. Prior to this, the word "polygamy" was used in everyday life. The term is used in biology, zoology, sociology, economics, religious studies, history, psychology, ethics.
Polygamy belongs to the category of ambiguous phenomena that attract the attention of people and cause much controversy. The theory that a man is "programmed" to distribute his genes to a large number of female individuals is very popular today. The opinion about the genetic unacceptability of monogamy for men is opposed to statistics. Sociologists have found that in countries or tribes where polygamy is traditionally practiced, 3–20% of men enjoy this right.
Another outdated stereotype: Men are by nature more polygamous than women. Nevertheless, being in official relations, women periodically feel the desire to have sex with other partners. But here public morality comes first. Male sexual attraction to several partners is regarded as a sign of valor. Female polygamous in Russian is called one short obscene word. That is, polygamy for men is a variant of the norm, and for women - a deviation from the norm.
Where did polygamy come from
The concept of marriage and family originated in primitive society for the settlement of parent-child, inter-sex relations. Initially, the norm was a group union in which the spouses retained the right to communicate with "spare" partners. The first models of a pair of family originated in the legislative practice of Rome and ancient Greece. The reason was not so much moral as economic issues - the ransom paid for the wife, children, the right to inheritance.
Canadian scientists conducted a computer simulation of the life of prehistoric ancestors and put forward new hypothesis of monogamous unions. It turned out that couples began to create because of the risk of the spread of venereal diseases. Diseases reduced birth rates, so this form of relationship was beneficial for people and society as a whole.
In addition to pair marriage, polygamy was popular in the early-community community. It was believed that a lucky warrior or a skilled hunter was able to contain several women. In addition, numerous wars led to the fact that the female population in number prevailed over the male. So polygamy refers to the oldest institutions of family life. A monogamous marriage by historical standards is a relatively new principle of family life.
Polygamy in pre-Christian Russia
Slavic society in pagan times did not differ ascetic views. Ancestry in ancient Russian culture was considered a sign of male prosperity. Polygamy was practiced by the First Kyiv princes, representatives of the nobility and simple peasants.
After the adoption of Christianity, our ancestors were in no hurry to part with customs and old habits. Including polygamy. Such marriages were branded by ecclesiastical courts, condemned during sermons, but existed until the end of the 12th century.
Polygamy in religion
Bible teaching about the family, he unequivocally preaches monogamy - it is the love of one woman that provides man with earthly joys. According to the Creator's plan, the union of Adam and Eve should be the ideal arrangement of marriage for all future generations. And the admission of polygamy reduces the spiritual union to the household level.
Jewish Law Book Torah polygamy does not prohibit, but allows only under special circumstances: infertility of the first wife, for example. But for the sake of protecting women, Judaism sanctified monogamy.
The only religion that consistently supports polygamy remains Islam. This phenomenon has social and cultural roots, but is allowed only if all wives are equal.
Buddhism does not welcome or condemn polygamy, but considers it outside of religion. On the contrary, Buddhists of Tibet have two wives for one wife. In the Vedic system polygamy is not prohibited, but should not turn into a farce. If the next marriage creates only problems, it does not elevate, but disgraces the man.
In some countries, polygamous marriages for one or another are sanctioned by law: in Brunei, the United Arab Emirates, Syria, Algeria.
Treason and polygamous
Another statement is popular: a large number of infidelities and divorces is explained precisely by a biological need, since males are polygamous in nature. Psychologists and sexologists believe that this is only a way to cover up the inability and unwillingness to work on relationships. Yes, some animals and birds live in large families. But swans, eagles, wolves create pairs for life. And the rest defend their right to lead the pack in a bloody fight, sometimes with a dozen competitors.
The sexual life of a person depends on the upbringing, attitudes in the family, the level of morality. To justify betrayal by the power of instinct, it means, to lower a person to an animal, primitive level. The causes of betrayal are different, as are the experiences of each person:
- Need to win. It is based on the fantasy that marital fidelity forces you to ignore your possibilities. A new partner is a personal victory over compulsory, the triumph of genetics over education.
- Opportunity. Treason does not require long "dances with a tambourine." It is enough to rent a room in a hotel, obtain the consent of a partner, agree on "non-disclosure", watch the time.
- Protest. A traitor justifies his behavior by tensions with a partner, lack of sex, resentment. Treason is held under the motto "I will do my best."
- The desire to cause jealousy partner. Relations on the side in such cases are not hidden. On the contrary, the traitor does everything to make another jealous, to refresh feelings. Paradoxically, this behavior is caused by the desire to preserve the old relationship.
- Waiting for the Unknown. The ability to choose excites, allows you to feel how the blood runs through the veins. Sometimes the reasons are trivial - treason acquaintances encourage them to do the same.
- Temperament difference. When sex is not enough in the family, the active partner begins to look for it on the side.
- Emotional burnout. When partners are disappointed in each other, but for some reason continue to live together. Such betrayal is often used as a provocation to force another to file for divorce.
- Self affirmation. This is a way to tell a partner "I'm in charge here". This type of behavior comes from parental relationships or is developed as a result of parenting.
- Irrational behavior. This is a special type of worldview. A traitor does not consider it necessary to change his behavior. At the same time, he demonstrates disrespect for the partner, does not feel shame or repentance. Characteristic of sociopaths, sexaholic.
- According to the status laid. Wealthy men are more prone to adultery - this is confirmed by statistics. It is explained not so much by money as by high self-esteem, confidence, decisiveness.
In addition to the officially recognized monogamous marriage, polygamy has always existed in various forms. But if you talk about "natural polygamy", it is worth remembering: if you practice "animal" behavior, do not expect that you will be treated like a human being.
findings:
- Polygamy is the legal union of three or more individuals.
- Imposed monogamy, the male need to spread their genes - no more than myths.
- Men and women are equally in need of sexual diversity, but they act according to different scenarios.
- In the public unconscious, polygamy justifies treason. One changes, the other closes his eyes.
