Nothing lasts forever, including relationships, even if they are for love. But how to survive the separation from your loved one, if everything happened so unexpectedly.
"Suddenly" nothing happens
The very first thing to realize and understand is necessary. If he decided to leave, it means that the relationship in some ways did not suit both. Just a woman always tries to save them at any cost, and the man is an experimenter. That is why he often leaves first.
You also need to understand that nobody owes anything to anyone, and indeed, there are no halves, because we are all full-fledged people without any half, which means we can live with a person only as long as these relations are comfortable for both of them. Further, it is not necessary, because it is already painful, and therefore unproductive, and this is no longer love. Yes, people with love addiction can converge and diverge many times, while with each attempt the relationship will get worse and worse, but this is not love, but illness. Why let her in life? If it is impossible for you to live without someone, then something is unfavorable in your soul and psyche.
Put an end
This punctuation mark will help you survive the pain of separation. Just accept it as it is and release your partner if you like. Recognize his right to freedom. Perhaps fate will face you again after years, but then you will be better and more perfect, which means your relationships will be more perfect. But this is then, but for now, look for yourself, not half, and let the former partner do the same.
You can delete his phone number and remove from the list of friends. The main thing - do not try to get it back and leave hope for return. Do not humiliate yourself. Behind the point there is a new life.
We are persecuting all obsessive thoughts
In many crisis situations we suffer not from the situation itself, but more from intrusive and false thoughts about this situation. Understand that these thoughts are our enemies. Sometimes, among the recommendations on how it is easier to survive parting with a loved one, there are tips to distract, etc. But this is the same as dancing to a lezginka in front of the enemy or turning away from him, armed. No, you need to track these thoughts and completely dive into them at first, and then change them to positive ones and just don’t let them in your head.
Such hostile thoughts include those associated with self-pity, despondency, fear (“I’m not loving anyone anymore,” “what am I going to do without him”), thoughts about a former partner or about who separated him, as well as self-directed aggression ("he quit because I am a loser"). What do we have to do? Forgive both yourself and your partner for your mistakes. And also - thank the fate for the experience. And the main thing is to be sure that negative experience will not happen again and will not be needed.
What not to do
- Chase and endlessly sort things out. Do not interrupt the phone of the ex-partner and do not watch it on the street. If you really want him to come back, do not leave a negative. Yes, and self-esteem everywhere take with you.
- Revenge. From the same series as the previous error. Such actions will only convince the former half of the correctness of the decision.
- Cherish your grief and close within the four walls. No, it’s necessary to live and suffer, but it’s better to complain to one friend than to hundreds of friends on the social network. Just know that if one door is closed, the other, more interesting, is about to open.
- Stop looking after yourself. No comments. You have one body, so even after parting we continue to eat right and exercise, go to a beauty salon, etc.
- Also, do not tell anyone the bad things about the ex-partner or start a new relationship. They will not be good anyway, which means a new disappointment and a new parting, and perhaps the wounded soul of someone who wanted to be with you.
What can be done
- Spill your emotions. You are not a snow queen and not a deadpan macho, so you can shed tears, shout, cry to a friend in a vest, etc. So spiritual wounds will heal faster. The main thing is not to do it for too long, otherwise it will become a habit. Do you like being a whiner?
- We are distracted. No, we do not hit all the grave ones and do not turn away from the enemy, but live a full life - work, interesting and unusual activities, friends, parties.
- Experimenting. Girls are better off experimenting with looks, men - with the situation in the apartment and cooking.
- Be creative. When you had a couple, you didn’t have enough time to learn music, poetry or dancing. In it, the moment when you can invest in your art new emotions. There are a lot of them now, but they will definitely distract from negative creativity.
- Help those in need. You can even not go to boarding schools or hospitals, but simply to reduce the grandmother to the theater, to help the elderly neighbor, to entertain her friend, who has no personal life at all.
- We go on a trip. It’s always necessary to change the situation, but if it is winter now and doesn’t have any money, then it may just be a walk outside the city into the forest. If it's already warm, it's time to go to the sea. A change of scenery is a strong energy recharge.
Do not give yourself the opportunity to be unhappy
Even if it's lonely now - you need to rejoice. Self-pity and being stuck in one's grief is a sign of immaturity. A person is mature and healthy mentally is unlikely to suffer for a long time. In addition, your tears are not needed by anyone except the envious and the enemies. Do not give them a reason for joy and remember that someone always needs you. Present yourself to this person, but not to grief and loneliness! See also:
How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one - 5 tips
How not to be offended by people: 7 ways from practicing psychologists
