Children's tantrums often perplex adults, and even the methods created by psychologists, educators and physicians do not help calm the child in all cases.
To understand how to comfort a child, should analyze the situation and determine which of the existing methods will be most effective.
During the interaction with the child It is important to take into account his individual psychological characteristics..
How to calm the child?
Newborn or baby up to 1 month
Reasons for constant crying in an infant always aboundand far from always parents can quickly determine what exactly is bothering him.
Most often, babies scream if they need food or a diaper change, but there are a number of other reasons.
If a baby cries for a long time without ceasing and cannot calm him down, it is important first of all to make sure that his basic needs are met.
You should also measure the temperature of his body, inspect the ears (it is important to press on the trestle: if the baby developed otitis, after pressing it will start screaming harder), check if there are colic, determine if you need to ventilate the room.
If there are no obvious reasons for infant crying, one may suspect a nervous overexcitement.
How to calm over-excited baby if he constantly cries? Recommendations for the elimination of nervous overexcitation in children less than one year old:
- Eliminate unpleasant stimuli. If the music is turned on somewhere, the television is loud, the washing machine is humming, it can disturb sensitive kids. Usually, young children with a healthy nervous system react much less to stimuli. It is important to check if there is anything that may interfere with the child. Close the curtain, if a street lamp looks through the window, remove the noise, if possible, turn off the lights.
- Remember that emotional and physical contact with the mother is very important. Many babies calm down when they fall on their hands to their mother. It is important to shake the child in your arms, hug him, tell something in a tender voice, sing a lullaby softly, smile at him. Sometimes this is enough for the child to calm down and be able to fall asleep.
- Get a massage. A gentle, gentle massage will help your baby relax, feel better. It should be neat, devoid of coarse, pressing movements. Stroke the body of the child, massage his arms and legs. During the massage, it is useful to say gentle words, smile, hum.
- If the baby is more than four or six months old, you can buy it in water with soothing herbs. It is important to first make sure that he is allergic to certain herbs. Babies who are not four or six months old are not recommended to bathe in herbs. Before such a swim, it is important to consult a doctor.
It is important to consult a doctor if the child is not calmed down. Also, a visit to the doctor is necessary if the baby screams for no apparent reason regularly.
Hyperactive kid
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder extremely common.
A child who has such a diagnosis hardly concentrates on something, is very mobile, likes to scream and is practically unable to sit quietly for a few minutes.
Do not scoldand especially do not hit the child, if he began to run, roll on the floor, laugh and shout for no reason.
Always remember that hyperactivity is a feature of his nervous system that needs to be considered.
Swearing and beatings have never benefited mental health.
Tips to calm hyperactive children 2-3 years and older:
- Have your child play. Carefully stop it and, bending down, gently offer to play something interesting. For example, the “louder-quieter” game will do: you say a word or phrase, and the child must say it louder or quieter than you. This will help him learn to control his voice.
- Talk with him calmly, unhurriedly, do not raise your voice. Do not shout and do not speak too quickly, so that the child does not feel anxiety and could clearly understand what is required of him. Your calm voice will help him to calm down.
- Let him release energy if the situation allows. If the child is not in places where the manifestations of his hyperactive behavior are inappropriate, it is quite possible to give him the opportunity to run and shout. When he partially releases the accumulated energy, it will be easier to interact with him.
Some two and three year olds begin to behave in this way when they want attract the attention of parents.
Therefore, it is important to devote enough time to the child, communicate with him, play.
Recommendations to control hyperactive behavior in the long term:
- Observe the daily regimen. It is important that the hyperactive child go to bed and wake up at the same time, clearly know when and what he needs to do. It is useful to include in the mode of the day exercise and warm up.
- Avoid making fuss near your child. Children with ADHD are sensitive and loud showdowns around can provoke hyperactivity and increase his nervous tension.
- Reduce the amount of food that causes hyperactivity. Some foods can increase hyperactivity, such as sugar. This does not mean that you need to plant a child on a completely sugar-free diet, but it is better not to give a large amount of sweets, especially in the evening.
Also, in some treats for older children, coffee can be added, which influences the psyche excitingly.
Before bedtime is important observe special ritualswhich will have a calming effect on the child. For example, you can offer him every night to drink milk with honey.
Nervous boy or girl
Stress affects not only adults but also children.
If a child attends a large number of circles and sections, he may be in a state of chronic stress, since he does not have the opportunity to fully relax.
This is often provokes nervousness, irritability.
Also, nervousness can provoke acute psycho-emotional upheaval: death or serious illness of a loved one or pet, violence episodes, parents divorce, house scandals, collision with traumatic information.
For example, a baby can feel mental discomfortif you watch a bit of daily television news that mentioned something tragic.
Recommendations to eliminate nervousness:
- Determine the cause. Think about what could have caused this behavior. Perhaps something negative has happened recently. Or a child attends too many circles and sections. If you understand what is happening, it does not work, it makes sense to ask the child himself if he is old enough. When the cause is found, it will be much easier to help your child cope with nervousness.
- Do not hit and do not scold him, talk in a calm voice. Completely exclude your own aggression: this will only aggravate mental stress.
- Pay attention to it more often. A nervous child needs an increased amount of attention and care. Talk to him, tell him interesting things, play, walk in the fresh air, show him that you love and appreciate him.
- Observe the daily regimen. Uneven day regimen can aggravate nervousness.
- Consult your child psychologist. If irritability, aggressiveness, and excitement persist for a long time and do not disappear, despite all efforts, the help of a psychologist is necessary.
Nervousness affects children with a history of brain damage of various etiologies (including hypoxia). Therefore, in some cases it will be necessary to undergo tests.
Capricious, naughty, harmful child
The word "capricious" is very often used in relation to children.
In this case, parents are not always trying to figure out what exactly do they call capriciousness.
Any manifestations of the “inconvenience” of the child, even reasonable ones (for example, the child feels bad and therefore controls himself worse), are extremely negative.
There are also periods during which disobedience and capriciousness are always present, and eliminate them almost impossible (in fact, it is not necessary, because it can negatively affect the formation of the psyche and personality of the child).
One of these periods is called crisis of three years. At this time, the child is trying to prove to adults that his desires must be considered and that he wants to have some control over his own life. In the process, he may behave inadequately, demand strange things and roll up tantrums.
It is important for parents to have patience and approach all the requirements of the child from a rational point of view, and if necessary, consult a psychologist.
Also, moods can be a way to check how much pressure can be put on parents. Standard situation: tantrum in the store with toys. If the parent, unable to bear the screaming, gives up and buys what he wants, the child will understand that it works, and then he will end up hysterical again.
Tips to calm in similar situations:
- Do not change your decision. Stand your ground no matter what happens;
- keep calm. Aggression, perhaps, will help to muffle a one-time tantrum, but it will negatively affect the child’s psyche;
- suggest replacement. Remind that the child has a wonderful new toy at home, say that you will play with him later;
- get out of sight of the child. The child in hysterics need the audience. If no one is around, he will calm down;
- distract him. Works well with younger children. Show him his own toy, play something.
When the child calms down, explain to him in a calm voice for whatever reason you cannot do what he wants, give examples.
If, for example, a child wants to go to kindergarten in a favorite lightweight jacket, tell him that he will catch a cold because it is cold outside.
Sometimes visibility can help: say that you agree (be sure to focus on what you need to wear warm, because it's cold), and put it on as usual, and on the way ask about a couple of times how he feels.
If he complains of discomfort, remind him that he needed to wear a warm jacket, but he did not want to. Of course, this should be done in cases where it clearly will not threaten his health.
Before bedtime
Basic tips:
- An hour or two before bedtime, try not to allow active games, watching cartoons, especially long ones, movies, computer games. Such activities can provoke the occurrence of over-stimulation, and it will be more difficult for the child to calm down.
- Observe the daily regimen. If a child is used to lying down and getting up at the same time, it will be easier to put him to bed.
- Come up with evening rituals. These rituals can be bathing (with herbs), massage, eating certain foods, reading tales out loud.
Even if there are no evening rituals in your family, reading a book or a gentle massage can help your child calm down. It is also important not to make trouble in the presence of the child, not to raise his voice to him.
How to calm down a group of guys?
In kindergarten
How can a caregiver calm down rabid, screaming children?
Screaming crowd of children in kindergarten sometimes it is difficult to calm even an experienced teacherTherefore, some educators may resort to incorrect methods of calm (for example, to a loud shout, insults).
Key recommendations:
- Ensure that children are always busy and under control. If children have nothing to do, and there has been no change of activity for a long time, they can begin to entertain themselves. If the tutor has gone ten minutes, leaving a crowd of children with an inexperienced student doing the practice, this can also lead to the children starting to run and shout: usually the group, accustomed to its tutor and his work style, listen to him well.
- Pay attention to yourself. Speak in a calm voice, make sure that it is firm, not quiet and not too loud. You can draw attention to yourself with the help of musical instruments (strike the drum, ring the bell, play on the pipe). Immediately in the process, invite them to play and take control of the situation.
- Change the activity of children, if it has not changed for a long time. For example, if you delay with the exit for a walk and allow children to play on their own for too long, they can start running and screaming.
Avoid aggression, keep yourself in hand. If you are a new educator, have patience: it will take time for the children to start listening to you.
In the camp
Children in the camp older and already have formed views about what is possible and what is not, therefore it is sometimes easier to find a common language with them than with younger children.
Basic tips:
- In order not to lose control of children, it is important to ensure that they are always busy with something interesting. More often offer them new activities. It is important to take into account the age of children: what would be interesting for children at the age of adolescence may seem like stupidity to teenagers.
- Allow them some time to go crazy to relieve internal stress, but make sure that the games do not go beyond adequacy.
It is important to calm the most agile children in time, and then it will be easier to maintain control.
- From the very first hours of communication with the squad, set the desired tone, determine the rules. Keep your voice strong, but not loud and not aggressive.
- At the time of sedation, you can also use sound signals: many counselors have a whistle on their neck for this purpose. If the whistle is not, you can clap your hands, attracting attention.
It is always easier to make decisions based on the situation, therefore, teachers, including educators and counselors, it is important to be able to adapt to any circumstances.
How to calm the child and stop the tantrums? Find out about this from the video:
