Self-acceptance is an indispensable condition for cultivating self-love. Psychologists say that to begin with, a person must love himself, and only then others will fall in love with him. To accept yourself, it is enough to make 5 simple steps. They are based on getting to know each other better, learning how to hear the inner voice.
Why is it important to accept yourself?
Self-acceptance is the achievement of a state in which self-esteem normalizes, spiritual harmony and emotional stability are felt.
All problems from childhood. If a child is often compared with peers, reproaching that he "is learning worse than Polina," "does not behave as well as Vasya," he begins to develop complexes. Some parents plainly point the child to its shortcomings - fat, ugly, stupid. These words are deeply and permanently stuck in the subconscious. In adulthood, even if a person is praised, he does not believe, perceives praise as a mockery, because it does not resonate with his inner feelings.
Accepting yourself is important because it is impossible to build a happy relationship, to succeed in your career, spending your strength on enmity with yourself.
How to accept yourself?
1. Love your body
Most often, non-acceptance of oneself begins with the fact that a person does not like his appearance. Extra pounds, an awkward figure, a big nose can be the reasons that a person hates himself. To start a different attitude to your body, you can try to get to know him. To do this, you must completely undress and look at yourself in the mirror, select what you do not like. You can even write external flaws on paper. Next, in front of each item you need to write how to correct the external flaw. For example, gymnastics and diet will help to correct the figure; powder will mask the oily skin.
There are drawbacks that are difficult to correct, for example, the shape of the nose, the size of the ears. Then you need to take it as a feature. This will help the experience of famous models. Lily McMemen’s wide nose and big teeth do not interfere with her removal for Vogue, Chantelle Brown-Young with a broken skin pigmentation is Desigual's face, Velvet D'Amour's extra pounds did not prevent her from becoming Jean-Paul Gautier's favorite model. Moffi Gatorn Hardy has a squint, Kelly Mittendorf has a masculine appearance, Tando Hop is an albino, and Simona Thompson has a huge gap between her teeth. It only helps girls to be visible, individual, successful.
2. Track your desires
Sometimes a person does not at all what he wants and does not even realize it. As soon as the feeling of being not at ease comes, you need to ask yourself the questions "I am sure that I want exactly this?", "And what would I like to do right now?" Next you need, if possible, to fulfill your desire. Here it is very important to show determination, because the mind can use the harmful method “I will do it tomorrow”.
Accepting yourself is including fulfilling your desires. If you want to walk, you need to get up from the couch and go to the park, to the beach, take a bus and go to another city. On the way, they usually become lazy, afraid to go on a trip alone, the thought that this desire will pass. Will not work! It will simply choke and grow into non-acceptance of itself.
3. Kill the critic
Whose voice inside indicates how to live correctly? First you need to make sure that it belongs to you. Very often a person’s beliefs are imposed on him by his parents, friends, and society. As soon as the extra voices fall silent, you need to conduct an explanatory conversation with yourself. Self-criticism has the right to exist only if it is justified and constructive. And such it is, when after it follows a decision that allows you to become a little better. The lack of knowledge is leveled by training, the excess weight is corrected by physical activity.
4. Start keeping a diary
A personal diary will help you figure out which situations aggravate non-acceptance of oneself. This is a great way to throw out negative emotions, praise yourself, analyze errors. Entries in the diary will help to establish a dialogue with the subconscious, which is extremely important while making yourself.
5. Speak affirmations
Affirmation - a short phrase-formula, the repetition of which acts as a self-suggestion. Every day a person who does not accept himself says that he is insignificant, thinks he is not capable of anything. This is all recorded in the subconscious. Affirmations will work the same way, but only in a positive way. For their actions it will be necessary at first to remind themselves to repeat them. Affirmations can be something like this:
- I accept myself as I am.
- I love my body.
- I like myself the way it is.
- There are many virtues in me.
- I am the most charming and attractive (yes, this is a classic, and it works).
7 signs of accepting yourself
There are 7 indicators by which a person can determine whether he accepts himself or not. If the entire seven coincides, the sense of self is normal. If 1-2 indicators do not respond, self-acceptance can be easily corrected. When more than 4 points seem superfluous in the list, there is a lot of work to be done on yourself.
- Feeling of freedom and lightness in the body. A person who has accepted himself feels this even on a physical level, feels a surge of energy. But, if this is not done, psychosomatic signs of tension may appear - squeezing in the chest (in the solar plexus area), as well as nervousness and anxiety.
- Concentration on the merits. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is very important, but dignity must always come first. A sign of not accepting oneself can be self-doubt and a focus on shortcomings.
- The right to make mistakes. A person should understand that he is not perfect and can make wrong actions, mistakes, stumble. Instead of criticizing himself, he analyzes, a sense of shame for the blunders and gnawing guilt are replaced by attempts to correct what can be changed and the adoption of what cannot be influenced.
- Ability to express your opinion. Sometimes people do not accept themselves so much that it is even difficult for them to ask to transfer money for a fare or ask who is the last in line. The ability to pronounce desires, to express their position and simply to voice thoughts is a sign of acceptance of oneself.
- Awareness of their desires. Often, a person indulges in other people's whims, because he does not know his own people, does what he doesn’t want to do at all. The self-accepted person does not allow this, she can always answer what she wants and what does not, protects her borders.
- The ability to admire the power of others. People who have not accepted themselves are more often jealous, criticized, condemned, admired or taken from someone.
- No desire to please everyone. This point is especially important, as it indicates self-sufficiency and brighter than the others indicates that the person was able to accept himself.
On the path to accepting oneself, one may encounter internal resistance. Thinking will not be reconstructed in one day, it may take months to read affirmations and more than a dozen written pages of the diary. But if you work hard on yourself, the result will certainly be.
