“I hate people” - often this can be heard in plain text, or this attitude becomes apparent from a person’s actions. Why do such feelings arise? Is there a definition for this? What if I feel I hate people? Do I need to do anything at all?
Definition
First you need to characterize the emotions. Confusion often occurs here. The word "hate" people sometimes call other feelings:
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dislike; - fatigue;
- fear of the crowd;
- tendency to loneliness;
- irritability.
dislike;These feelings and inclinations can cause a strong reluctance to communicate with people or even outbursts of anger. But hate has a big difference.
Hatred is an acute negative feeling that absorbs a person. His main desire, to which a large part of his thoughts is devoted, is to harm the one who causes these sensations in him.
From this it is necessary to conclude that a flash of anger or a short-term feeling of hostility cannot be called hate. This feeling implies a long time.
Causes of Hate
If, after all, the desire to harm someone or everyone does not give rest, you should ask yourself: “Why do I hate people?”. In answer to this question is a solution.
In fact, the cause of negative feelings is not in the object of hatred, but in who experiences it. These may be external factors or internal, such as diseases. Those who hate people are called haters (from the English word "hate" - "hate"). If such feelings are rooted in mental health, a person can be called a sociopath.
Such strong feelings can arouse:
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unjustified expectations; - sense of humiliation;
- desire for revenge;
- racial or ethnic feud;
- mental or emotional illness.
unjustified expectations;The reasons should be considered in more detail. This will help to better understand your feelings. For clarity - common situations with fictional characters.
Unwarranted expectations. Svetlana Anatolyevna hates his daughter-in-law and her friends, and at the same time - all young women. "They should respect me, because I am older and more experienced!", She reasons. Because of this, she perceives as a personal insult that she is not consulted for any reason.
Lidochka hates people, because they do not treat her as special, and yet to be different from what is fashionable now. She is considered a bore and boorish, and all because stupid people around her do not understand anything.
A man whose expectations were not justified, feels deceived. This causes a storm of negative emotions.
Feeling of humiliation. Igor works as a manager. He performs the work efficiently, communicates with each client and tries to understand what he needs. Igor hates Alexander, a senior manager. He works quickly, imposes everything on everything. The authorities appreciate Alexander, and Igor remains unnoticed - he is considered lazy and slow. Igor hates Alexander and other successful people, because he thinks he is despised.
Anna hates her neighbor Ira. That hard-working and caring husband. And recently, the couple learned that they will have a child. Anna herself the eighth year can not wait for the proposal. She looks at happy Ira, and feels miserable and humiliated. It seems to her that, passing through, Ira mockingly laughs at her neighbor.
The desire for revenge. Elena Feodorovna changed her husband and went to a young woman. Elena hates both fiercely and seeks opportunities to make their lives unbearable. It seems to her that so her heartache will subside.
In childhood, little Angela was constantly teased for being overwhelmed. She grew up, achieved a management position and takes revenge on everyone who, in her opinion, is thin. Indeed, in childhood they laughed at her, and it is not so important that these are other people.
Racial feud Andrei since childhood knows that his country is only for those who were born in it, and whose ancestors up to the tenth generation lived in it. He regards all visitors as freeloaders and is eager to do everything so that these people go where they think they should live. He is confident that after this, life in his country will improve, the economy will recover, and he will find work.
His neighbor, Arthur, wonders why people do not respect his religion. He explains his opinion by the fact that others refuse to follow their customs. He believes that people who do not worship his deity, in principle, do not deserve to live happily somewhere, and the country is not at all important.
Mental and emotional illnesses. Anastasia's life is quite successful. She has a family, work and the opportunity to relax. She herself can not explain why sometimes she becomes unbearably bad. Emotional pain is so strong that she feels it physically. Sometimes she feels a deep unreasonable hatred for people that can not be contained. On such days, she tries not to go anywhere and not to meet with friends. A few days later, these feelings are replaced by a strong burden to people - she loves everyone and really wants to see.
What can be done
It is not easy to find in yourself something negative. Therefore, a defensive reaction is triggered: “I hate people because they are bad, not because I have problems.” But the first step to solving a problem is to recognize its presence.
If the problem is in unfulfilled expectations, it is worth understanding - no one owes anything to anyone. Should not live as someone sees fit. Everyone has the right to their own opinions, decisions and their consequences. Expecting much from others means knowingly driving oneself into a dead end.
To cope with the feeling of humiliation you need to stop comparing yourself with others. All people are different and circumstances too. Usually, difficulties are the result of wrong decisions, and the one who does something is not to blame for them. And a happy person will not pursue the goal of humiliating the other.
Revenge - one of the most powerful driving forces, which does not see to the end of its goal. It does not lead to anything except emptiness - vengeance does not cure the heartache and does not relieve its causes. You need to make an effort to tune in to what really benefits, on the love of self, and not offended by others.
Hatred based on differences of origin or religion does not benefit either. Most people will agree that among the representatives of any nation or denomination there are both good and bad people. It often depends on where a person had to be born - and he could not influence it in any way, which means that it is not his fault. In addition, when someone urgently needs a heart transplant, it is unlikely that someone will refuse the operation if he finds out that the donor was of a different faith or origin. There is a simple explanation for this - inside all people are the same. Everyone is experiencing joy, pain, want to be happy. Focusing on what is common is easier to ignore the differences.
Mental and emotional illnesses require skilled treatment. They interfere with life and can affect family members and others. Following the recommendations of a good psychologist, you can come to a balanced state.
Why do you need it? First, hate does not make a person happy. He is filled with negative emotions, which will necessarily affect his physical health and relationships with others, even those to whom there are no negative feelings.
Secondly, hatred does not solve the reasons for it. If you do not figure out the cause, then the feeling of humiliation, despair, or heartache will suppress everything further, which can lead to mental disorders. And the complexes and racial enmity will drive further and further into a dead end.
Being good in a world where so many people hate each other is not easy. But it should be done at least not for the sake of others, but for their own health and well-being.
