What is the difference between a pleasant and repulsive interlocutor? Is it all about the innate propensity for communication? In fact, in 90% of cases, it’s not talent that saves, but resourcefulness, self-discipline, and continuous work on yourself. It's no secret: every detail is important - posture, facial expressions, gestures, tone. And if one can quickly cope with these components with the help of physical effort, something more is needed for competent speech. How to speak correctly and be a great storyteller?
Use verified data
Spreading gossip harms the reputation of a decent person. And gossip is any unverified or doubtful information. To avoid awkward moments and not to expose yourself in a bad light, it is better to use only true facts in the story.
However, there are situations in which any detail is important, even unlikely. Then, in order not to mislead your opponent, sentences begin with phrases:
- “I’m not sure if this is true, but ...”;
- “I heard such information from neighbors / acquaintances / passers-by, but I don’t know how true it is ...”;
- “I have no definite answer to this question, but there are several tentative versions ...”;
- “I think so, but it is quite possible that I am mistaken. Recheck the information in reference books or from specialists. ”
In other words, these statements have only a conjectural, hypothetical connotation. The interviewer clearly understands: the information may not correspond to the truth. However, the details will help find the answer, will set the direction.
Arm yourself with arguments
This concerns controversial issues. Even if the question has an irrefutable answer, the interviewee may not know about it. In such situations, you can not insult your opponent, laugh at him, accuse him of ignorance. Attempts to insist on an answer without proper reasoning will also be useless. Therefore, the best way out will be a detailed explanation with the announcement or demonstration of evidence. They may be:
- research results;
- real life examples;
- material evidence - video or audio recordings, photographs, samples;
- authoritative literary sources - reference books, encyclopedias, textbooks;
- statistics, experiments, logical conclusions.
Keep your speech clear
Fashion has touched even colloquial speech. Therefore, words of foreign origin have become the norm. Sometimes they really come to the rescue, as they save time, they help to briefly describe phenomena, objects that are difficult to translate into their native language with one phrase. However, sometimes these “linguistic foreigners” sound ridiculous.
“For the demonstration of the fashion collection, we will open a beauty center”.
“Team building will be held on open air-place”.
“There is no connection with the cleaning worker.”
How to explain to a person accustomed to normal speech what these sentences say about fashion shows, corporate parties and a cleaner? In order to avoid semantic errors and misunderstandings, it is better to use Russian analogues if possible.
Some more problems of the modern “fashionable” language - slang, jargon, intentional abbreviation of words. The phrase “grandmothers turn the norm like that”, pronounced by the financial director, will not add him respect or trust. And the words “hey, cool chick, don't you want to 'ride a wheelbarrow?” Are unlikely to help establish healthy romantic relationships. Funny Nevertheless, this is a reality, for their confirmation it is enough to listen to the conversations of others. The result will be more pitiable.
A huge ulcer on the body of speech is obscene language. Most often it is used for three reasons:
- an attempt to attract attention, appear older, “join” the company (for teenagers);
- creating a comic or emotionally intense effect;
- expression of negative emotions.
And now the time of paradox: scientists have found that abuse is good for the body, as it helps to endure pain more easily. It turns out, “spicy mot” sometimes helps? Perhaps, but not at all during a business meeting, communication with an unfamiliar person or as an insult. Therefore, the framework of decency should not be forgotten.
Do I need to talk about illiterate speech? Rules of conjugation, declensions, pronunciations do not just exist. They show the level of education, culture.
Pay attention to the sound
Loudness, timbre of voice, clarity of pronunciation have a significant impact on the interlocutor and the audience. No less important is the tone of the narrator. For an educated person it is unacceptable to have a conversation in an arrogant, arrogant tone. It is impossible to give your voice excessive instructiveness - it humiliates and offends the listener.
Good is the conversation in which the sound corresponds to the situation.
When communicating with children, an emotionally bright, positive, cheerful tone is used. Protection of scientific work requires a neutral, narrative sound. Sellers of “adult” products lower their voices, speak slowly, often using semantic pauses.
What happens if you change all the places?
Would children like a dry scientist? How will the audience of scientists react to the unusual voice of the speaker - low, hoarse, with a slight gasp? And what will happen if in a sex shop a shy buyer suddenly bumps into a too loud and cheerful seller?
Establish contact with the interlocutor
During the conversation, it is important to devote time to your opponent. Otherwise, it turns out only a boring, long monologue. One-time, because no one will want to meet twice with such a “talker”. A few rules for polite dialogue:
- to show respect, to call the interlocutor by name (first name and patronymic);
- ask questions - simple and rhetorical;
- forget about monosyllabic or vague answers “yes”, “no,“ maybe ”,“ who knows ”,“ let's see ”;
- look at the interlocutor, do not ignore him, do not be distracted by trifles;
- keep distance in accordance with the level of proximity.
The conversation resembles the passes of the ball: he spoke himself - pass the ball to another player. It's very impolite to keep this ball in your hands for a good half hour, and then leave with it, without making a “pass”.
Find a balance between theme and digressions.
Jokes, lyrical and philosophical digressions, memories, minor themes stir up interest in the conversation. But only if they do not ignore the main subject of conversation.
A person comes to the clinic to find out the cost of services. He is not interested in when this hospital was founded, what doctors are working here and how many diplomas from local nurses. Yes, this is important information, and you can mention it, but after the announcement of the price and without obtrusiveness.
Avoid the taboo
If the interlocutor is an unfamiliar person, it makes sense to limit the range of issues discussed. It will save from awkward situations and conflicts. These topics include:
- religion;
- politics;
- attitude towards sexual minorities;
- diseases;
- any problems in the life of the interlocutor;
- intimate, personal issues;
- gossip, discussions with a negative bias.
You can talk about work, culture, hobbies, institutions, animals, and so on. Discussion of topics from the list is permissible only with a close friend who inspires confidence and shows it in response. If a new acquaintance suddenly starts to touch an awkward topic, you can try to change the subject of conversation smoothly or directly, but politely declare your unwillingness to discuss this issue.
Tips on how to speak correctly may seem easy, but practice proves the opposite. To successfully apply them, you will have to learn self-control, develop attentiveness. A good conversationalist monitors his speech and reaction of the opponent at the same time. He always accurately notes when it is better to change the topic or stop the conversation altogether. Such skills require careful work on yourself. But they serve as the business card of the person with whom it is really pleasant to communicate.
