The concept of jealousy is interpreted as mistrust and doubt in someone else's loyalty, love, devotion.
It is impossible to say unequivocally about jealousy - good or bad, it all depends on the form and intensity of the manifestation of this feeling.
Concept and Psychology
Jealousy is, above all, distrust of the partnerand, moreover, it may arise as a result of any proven reasons or it may develop completely groundlessly.
This feeling, at times, defies logical explanation.
There are cases when jealousy manifested itself in relation to a person who is no longer alive, or developed in connection with slander, despite the immaculate behavior of a partner.
Psychologists consider jealousy the norm, as a reaction to the proven fact of betrayal of a partner. Also within the normal range, mistrust or doubt regarding the second half, provoked by the following factors:
- Long conflict in the pair.
- Praise of others in the eyes of a partner.
- Neglect of the spouses to each other.
- Reduced sexual activity, sexual disharmony.
- Forced temporary separation (business trips, trips, etc.).
Normal jealousy can be a temporary reaction to the actions of a partner or exist for a long time or be a trait of a person’s character, accompanying him throughout his life.
Normal jealousy commensurate with real circumstances: the fact of betrayal, coquetry with a stranger, forced separation, etc.
If the feeling of distrust is transformed into a delusional idea and becomes chronic, it is a question of the development of mental illness. The idea of suspicion occupies a dominant position in the patient’s mind.
He constantly finds out the relationship with his half, becomes unfounded suspicious, visualizes in his head pictures of treason partner.
Against the background of delusional syndrome, emotional excitability arises, appetite worsens, and psychosomatic symptoms develop: weakness, headache, tachycardia.
Pathological jealousy in the absence of psychotherapeutic assistance, it always leads to disastrous outcomes: severe physical injury, suicide, and the killing of a partner or “suspected” opponent.
The problem of jealousy. About jealousy, how about the disease, in this video:
Types of jealousy
In psychology, the concept of jealousy is classified into 2 types:
- Normal jealousy - a feeling of doubt in the partner, arising from the proven fact of betrayal, or suspicion in adultery, due to the behavior of the partner.
- Pathological jealousy is a chronic paranoid delusional psychosis that develops as a result of the influence of negative internal and external factors of a jealous person.
The normal jealousy that occurs in the relationship between the young or the spouses, according to the nature of the manifestations, is divided into the following types:
- Proprietary. This type is associated with the fear of losing a loved one. The provoking factors are usually: treason, expressed flirting with another person, separation, cooling partner's feelings.
From infringement. It manifests itself in melancholic people, people with an increased level of anxiety and low self-esteem. Sometimes it is provoked more by its own anxiety and suspiciousness of the jealous man than by external factors. Due to low self-esteem, a person knowingly imagines a worse development of relations in the future than is provoked by an unfounded attack of doubt in a partner.- Tyrannical. Occurs in people smug, stubborn, emotionally cold. Such personalities show excessive demands on the partner, seeking to subordinate him or rehabilitate him. Jealousy arises because of not subordination of a loved one and his cooling in intimate terms, and the jealous man sees guilt in his partner, and not in his own despotic behavior.
- Vaccinated. It develops as a result of the influence of life experience, after suffering betrayal from close people. In new relationships, such people begin to obviously test their partner, finding fault with every little thing.
- Reversed. A person begins to suspect a partner of infidelity, if he committed adultery or is close to treason. Such people begin to blame the loved one without a reason.
From infringement. It manifests itself in melancholic people, people with an increased level of anxiety and low self-esteem. Sometimes it is provoked more by its own anxiety and suspiciousness of the jealous man than by external factors. Due to low self-esteem, a person knowingly imagines a worse development of relations in the future than is provoked by an unfounded attack of doubt in a partner.Usually jealousy exists in mixed types, for example, tyrannical combined with reversed, etc.
Normal jealousy can become chronic, gradually turning into paranoia.
Jealous - what does it mean?
Manifestations of jealousy depend on the personality characteristics of the jealous person and are characterized by a complex structure in which there are various emotions and states:
- anxiety;
- anger;
- despair;
- hatred;
- envy;
- revenge;
- passion.
The jealous is tormented by his own suspicions, torments beloved with reproaches and distrust. Moreover, the stronger the feelings, the more intense the manifestations of distrust.
Zealous manifestations are contradictory: at the same time, feelings towards a loved one are intensified, his positive qualities are revealed on the other hand, but at the same time reproaches, mistrust and doubt increase.
Is jealousy a verdict or lifestyle? About the reasons in this video:
Bad feeling or norm?
What does jealousy mean? Jealousy is considered the norm in the case of a proven fact of betrayal of a loved one, especially against the background of its intimate intimacy with respect to its own partner. In this case, zealous manifestations are a common reaction to a negative stimulus.
Doubts about a partner can arise because of the fear of losing him, especially if a loved one cools off in intimate terms, or flirts openly with others.
Jealousy maybe provoked by a long separation between loved ones.
Such zealous manifestations, as a rule, are short-lived and disappear with the elimination of negative factors.
That is, if sex life is restored, the loved one returns from the trip, mistrust disappears.
Groundless jealousy in the form of suspicion, as a rule, is a social danger and often turns into paranoiac psychosis.
A sign of love or distrust?
At the beginning of a relationship, when in the first place, passion and mutual understanding emerge, between partners usually exists mutual trust. Hot love is blind: every dignity of a loved one enhances the feeling, every flaw disappears.
The first manifestations of jealousy between loved ones begin to occur when cooling before raging passion one of the partners. The hotter the love of one of them, the stronger the jealousy.
It is the pain of love that explains the violent acts motivated by jealousy on the part of morally perfect persons.
The definition of jealousy itself is interpreted as mistrust and doubt in relation to its half. Jealousy can also occur, and as a manifestation of love, because of the fear of losing a loved one.
Jealous means loving? Is jealousy a sign of love or selfishness? The psychologist comments:
Is it a sin from the point of view of religion?
In Orthodoxy, marriage is treated as spiritual and carnal union of two people: "Let there be two one flesh."
And in the common flesh there should be no place for harmful passions, and jealousy, including.
Jealousy in the Bible is called cruel, it torments a person from the inside, delivers moral pain to a partner.
Orthodox priests say that the manifestation of such a feeling is a sign of the absence or lack of genuine love. Where there is love, there is no place for jealousy.
Jealousy grows out of mistrust, egoism, cowardice, despair, and yet these states are sinful.
Male and female
Jealousy more inherent in the male half humanity, and it occurs most often due to the cooling of the spouse in an intimate sense, or when provable fact of betrayal.
Men are more sensitive to the intimate side of relationships, and any failure in this regard is painfully felt by them. Since the male sex is rarely ready to realize their mistakes, he is looking for a reason not in himself, but blames the blame on the womanstarting to suspect her in adultery.
Man's jealousy is characterized by manifestations of aggression, expressed in reproaches and insults, and even physical injuries.
Woman's jealousy arises on the internal, sometimes intuitive level. With the unproved fact of adultery, she may become suspicious if the husband lingers at work or talks to a female colleague.
With the proven fact of treason, a woman is deeply experiencing a situation that falls into despair or depression.
The reasons
Where does jealousy come from? The causes of male and female jealousy are somewhat diverse, due to physiological gender features.
A man starts to be jealous a woman for the following reasons:
- intrafamily: conflicts, cooling partner in sexual intercourse;
- everyday: long separation, humorous talk of a woman about a possible betrayal, flirting with another;
- environmental: alcoholism, emotional exhaustion;
- spouse slander by others;
- proven betrayal.
Men more women subject to instinctive urges. They want to dominate sexuality, to decide the fate of their chosen one, to lead her. They can be jealous of the beloved, even to her former partners.
For women is characterized by the instinct of submission. They begin to be jealous of their man because of the fear of losing him.
In the case of male adultery, a woman finds the main culprit in the face of a mistress and is ready not only to forgive and return to her husband, but also to regard her return as a victory.
Manifestations of jealousy in women can provoke factors such as:
- The proven fact of betraying a loved one in the present or the past.
- Flirt men with the opposite sex.
- The sudden attention of a man to his appearance: the use of perfume, visiting the gym.
- Decreased attention from the partner.
Women are inclined, even in the absence of the fact of adultery, to complain to their friends about his infidelity.
Special occasions
Why is the mistress jealous of his wife? A mistress who receives physical and financial attention from a married man often becomes jealous of his wife.
This happens for a reason. desire to get a man, the breadwinner at the instinctive level in their full ownership.
If at first the mistress becomes resigned to her social role, then over time, her attachment to a partner increases, and infrequent meetings start her.
A typical picture occurs in cases where lover begins to be jealous of a married lady to her spouse. Men instinctively are not fit to share their woman with someone else.
In contrast to the female lover begins to be jealous of a married lover is not from the desire to live together.
Maybe he even does not consider the mistress as a life partner. Male jealousy is considered in this case as the physiological instinct inherent in men.
Signs of manifestation
How to understand that a guy or girl is jealous? Manifestations of jealous feelings in women and men differ significantly.
A man usually begins to doubt a woman, after a failure in the intimate plan, the refusal of her beloved in marital duty.
In males jealousy is determined by the following features:
- He openly talks with his partner about his suspicions, asks questions.
- Begins to show increased attention to her beloved.
- Often inclines the spouse to physical proximity, thereby confirming to himself the fact of owning it.
- It begins to get annoyed when the spouse does makeup before leaving the house, or puts on, in his opinion, candid clothes.
- Suddenly becomes secretive and gloomy.
- Openly insults his wife in the event of her refusal of physical proximity.
Pathological jealousy in a man is expressed in manic suspicion.
He begins to monitor his wife, view her phone, constantly call her, openly and groundlessly accuse his wife of treason.
In an emotional fit, things can go up to battering.
Female jealousy expressed in features such as:
- Suspicions: viewing phone calls, contacts and SMS spouse with a detailed interrogation.
- Constant monitoring: frequent phone calls, visits to work, inspecting clothes.
- Ban on any friendly gatherings and corporate working parties.
Due to strong jealousy, women can deny a spouse physical intimacy. Some women, jealous of her beloved, deliberately try to provoke jealous manifestations in him: they begin to wear overt clothing, impose bright make-up, flirt with their spouse with other men.
About the differences between male and female jealousy in this video:
What does feeling lead to?
The variants of the consequences of male and female jealousy are diverse and depend on causes of distrust and personality traits jealous.
Chronic jealousy leads to a breach of the relationship between partners. Against the background of distrust, conflicts, insults and mutual reproaches are constantly developing.
Jealousy can reach such proportions that the party, constantly accused of infidelity, either decides to treason or finally breaks the relationship.
Pathological jealousy can lead to physical injuries, including the killing of the “wrong” side and the opponent or the suicide of the jealous man. Groundless jealousy kills the love of not only a jealous partner, but also his chosen one, who is forced to live in constant distrust.
Books
Fiction contains many works about jealousy, its manifestations and consequences.
Jealous people will It is useful to read from the classical literature:
- William Shakespeare "Othello";
- L.N. Tolstoy "Anna Karenina";
- A.N. Ostrovsky "bespritannitsa";
- A.I. Kuprin "Shulamith";
- A.S. Pushkin "Gypsies".
Modern literature:
- Maya Banks "Passion";
- Victoria Shearing "Lucky";
- Sarah Craven, Love and Jealousy;
- Julian Barnes "Before she met me";
- Evgeny Vinokurov "Jealousy".
The phenomenon of jealousy is historically associated with stereotypes of family relationships. It manifests itself in distrust of the chosen one, who sometimes can reach paranoia.
Love is, above all, mutual trustand, accordingly, zealous manifestations are not only inappropriate between the beloved, but also capable of destroying the bonds of love.
What causes jealousy? A sexologist will tell in this video:
