The love triangle is not a new situation in the relationship between a man and a woman. Stories about infidelity partners and unrequited feelings are found not only on the pages of women's novels. Often from partners, someone starts a love affair on the side. Why do such situations arise? How to avoid this in family life? And how not to become the "third superfluous" in a love triangle?
What leads to the relationship "for three"?
The love triangle differs from banal treason with deeper feelings and a long term relationship. Each of the three parties is hard to break the psychological relationship. Participants in such relationships are in a kind of comfort zone. The power of habits, the fear of change often cause people to turn a blind eye to lies and betrayals. Thus, the situation remains unresolved.
How does it happen that adults with life experience fall into the trap of a love triangle? Consider the most common cases:
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Relationships without love.
Relationships without love.Marriage based on mutual respect or material calculation, but without love, is the reason that one of the partners begins to look for the missing emotions on the side. Each of the participants in such a relationship becomes dependent on the situation, which leads to the emergence of a love triangle.
The traitor does not want to leave the adjusted life and harmonious union, but at the same time he cannot give up the passion on the side. The one who is deceived, does not want to open his eyes to his partner's betrayal and destroy his usual lifestyle. The third party is getting used to the role of a lover and a relationship without commitment.
- Love triangle on the ground of sexual dissatisfaction.
Even in strong marriages, a situation often arises when one of the partners stops sexually satisfying the other. Sometimes the cause is the difference in age, temperament, childbirth, illness of one of the spouses. As a result, one of them will look for sexual realization on the side.
A person who is not prone to short-term intrigues and casual relationships, gets a permanent lover (s) for the sake of meeting natural needs. This is how relations for three come about, which can last for years.
- Love triangle: "one spouse for two families".
Divorced men fall into this trap and cannot break their ties with their former companion. Often there are feelings, unresolved issues, common children who do not allow to delete the first wife from their lives and build harmonious relations with a new love.
Another reason for the emergence of such a love triangle is pregnancy mistress and the birth of a child "on the side." A man realizes his responsibility both to his wife, and to his mistress, and to a newborn baby, begins to feel guilty for the situation.
All this is a prerequisite for the trap of the love triangle to close. And while the two women take turns “dragging the blanket over themselves,” the man takes a passive position and just goes with the flow.
- Female indecision.
It is more difficult for the representatives of the weaker sex to break an established relationship or to break the bond with her lover. Women tend to feel guilty about the love triangle.
The situation is aggravated by joint children with one of the partners. Breaking such a link is not easy.
- Male polygamy.
Some men are simply not able to maintain relationships with only one partner. In treason, they do not see anything seditious. Therefore, one mistress is replaced by another, as soon as he begins to claim a more serious relationship. Marriages also end in divorce.
Each new union in such a man becomes the basis for the next love triangle.
How to break the vicious bond?
If you are one of the parties of the relationship "for three", this situation is likely to have a depressing effect on you. How to resolve it, how to unravel a tangle of lies and self-deception? First of all, overcome indecision. The following recommendations will shed some light on the circumstances and help to cope with them:
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If you are cheating on your partner, think about which of the two you want to stay in a relationship with. Think it over well, perhaps you will make a disappointing conclusion that you want to break one and the other connection. - Answer honestly the question why the love triangle arose? What is its reason?
- Stop lying to yourself and your partner. Uncover all the cards.
- Act decisively in this situation, do not fall for persuasion, pleas and attempts to cause pity. Do not back down from the decision.
- A deceived partner should tell his other half that they know about communication on the side. Consider whether you can forgive him and act according to the paragraph above.
- If you are the “third superfluous” and play the role of a mistress (-ka), the best option would be to break the obviously doomed relationship and refuse to communicate with a person who cannot make a choice in your favor. You deserve a better fate and a healthy, happy relationship!
- If you do not break the vicious relationship due to the fact that you are afraid that joint children may get emotional trauma due to divorce, contact a family psychologist. Understand, to maintain such a relationship immoral. It will be easier for children to come to terms with your break, than to feel the tension that comes from their parents because of an unresolved situation.
If you are cheating on your partner, think about which of the two you want to stay in a relationship with. Think it over well, perhaps you will make a disappointing conclusion that you want to break one and the other connection.The most important thing in this case for each side is to prioritize, determine its place in this situation, stop lying to yourself and others. You also need to understand what led you to this triangle in order not to fall into such a trap anymore.
The love triangle is a difficult test, but there are no insoluble situations. To unravel a tangle of duty, guilt, betrayal and lies is difficult, but possible. Aim for honest and harmonious relationships based on love and trust! Do not lie to yourself and your loved ones!
Zara, Rostov-on-Don
