Sometimes at a certain stage of life, a person comes to understand that he does not want to communicate with other people.
Unwillingness to enter into communication may occur for several reasons.
Taciturn person
Taciturnity - is a psychological personality trait, expressed in the absence of the desire to enter into verbal contact with others.
Taciturn people reluctantly hold conversations, demonstrate unwillingness to share information. They do not feel the need to express their opinions, to participate in discussions.
Reluctance to communicate with people can be explained temperament or the presence of certain psychological problems.
In the first case, such behavior is completely natural for a person, he feels comfortable and confident. If silence is not a natural feature, then its manifestation indicates a sense of discomfort being experienced.
A person can be unsociable from birth or become so over the years. Most often, this quality manifests itself in adulthood, when people come to understand themselves and their needs.
In youth and youth, each individual more oriented to the outside: he cognizes the world around him, takes root in society, builds contacts, strives for achievements.
At this time, the level of sociability is quite high. When the mature age comes, attention goes inward. The need for contact with others can greatly weaken, and sometimes disappear completely.
Reasons for not wanting to communicate
Why do not I want or not interested in talking to people? The main reasons for the problem:
- Shyness. Self-doubt or lack of social skills make a person constrained, tense and indecisive. He is embarrassed in the presence of strangers, tries to avoid new contacts, does not like to appear at public events, etc. Shyness in itself is not a disadvantage. As a rule, it is peculiar to decent and emotional people. However, in modern society, this psychological quality makes life very difficult.
Even when meeting with interesting interlocutors who cause sympathy, a person does not find the strength to start a conversation and maintain further conversation because of the fears that hold him down.
- Lack of social skills. Communication is a social process that follows certain rules. Communication skills are developed in a child from the first years of his life. If there were problems with socialization, then the ability to communicate with people may simply be underdeveloped. In this case, there are difficulties with finding a topic for a conversation, maintaining an active dialogue, demonstrating the interest of the interlocutor, choosing the right words, etc.
Moreover, the person himself may have a high level of intelligence, a sense of humor, a rich vocabulary, flexibility of thinking. But the lack of accumulated communication skills will prevent him from communicating effectively with people. - Failure of interlocutors. The unwillingness to communicate can be explained by the lack of opponents that are suitable for the level of development, for their views and beliefs, for their spiritual qualities. If a person is forced to be in an environment that causes him to reject, his taciturn is understandable. The lack of prospects to be understood or assessed completely eliminates the desire to interact with others.
- Emotional burnout. A similar term was introduced to assess the psychological state of individuals who, due to the nature of their professional activities or living conditions, lose interest in the world around them.
Usually, people whose professional activity is associated with constant communication, a high degree of responsibility, the need for assistance and empathy are susceptible to burnout.
Social workers, doctors, teachers often do not feel the desire to communicate with people because of an excess of social interactions during working hours.
- Introversion. Introverts prefer to dive into the world of thought and imagination. Own thoughts, reasonings and ideas excite them much more surrounding reality. People with pronounced introversion do not have a particular need for communication, because they lack their own inner world. Alone, they do not get bored, but on the contrary, they feel absolutely comfortable and natural.
Moreover, the person himself may have a high level of intelligence, a sense of humor, a rich vocabulary, flexibility of thinking. But the lack of accumulated communication skills will prevent him from communicating effectively with people.
What to do if you do not want to communicate?
Understand the reasons for their own taciturn, and to find a way out of this situation will help the advice of psychologists.
With friends
It is important to distinguish friends from friends. The first appear naturally during various social actions, the second we introduce into our inner circle and purposefully support communication due to the presence of emotional connections with them.
If the circle of friends stops arranging, you should think about the termination of existing contacts and the establishment of new connections. Some people in the course of their lives are constantly changing, evolving, moving to a new level. Others remain in one place.
In such situations, the first individual becomes simply uninteresting to communicate with his old friends, who no longer match their level of development.
Gradually, the topics of conversation are exhausted and people move away from each other.
At this time, it is desirable look for new friendswith which communication will be interesting and rich. Often this happens by itself.
As soon as a person changes his lifestyle, his social circle changes automatically. Accordingly, feeling rejected to acting friends, it is worth thinking about changing the habitat, hobby, habits.
The situation is more difficult when it comes to acquaintances, not friends. Acquaintances - These are the people we encounter during various social activities. It can be neighbors, classmates, classmates, friends of friends, etc.
Often, we cannot avoid contact with these people because of the need performing certain social roles. Accordingly, communication is forced. In this case, it is recommended to try to minimize contact.
It is important to develop the ability to show goodwill, respect, and tolerance for people, even if they do not want to have a conversation with them.
Usually, excessive silence Opponent leads to a gradual loss of desire to talk to him. Accordingly, communication will naturally be reduced to an acceptable minimum.
With parents
Lack of understanding between parents and children testifies to serious intra-family conflicts.
Usually, children do not seek communication when parents:
- show indifference or hostility;
- suffer from addiction (alcohol, drugs);
- do not seek to understand and accept their child, their life views and beliefs;
- oppose the chosen one of the child;
- showed cruelty in childhood - physical violence, psychological pressure, etc.
If the cause of the conflict lies in experienced childhood trauma, correct the situation in adulthood really. It is enough to sincerely talk with parents, tell them about your grievances and sufferings. If they show remorse and desire to atone for their guilt, the problem can be solved.
If the reluctance to communicate is explained by the current conflict situation, then the relationship can be adjusted only by searching for a compromise.
Often the parties themselves do not find the strength and desire for building productive dialogue and conflict resolution. In this case, you can contact the family professionals who will help resolve the contradictions and build a productive dialogue.
It should be noted that there are life circumstances in which the unwillingness to communicate with parents rightly so.
Unfortunately, children may face overt cruelty, violence, aggression and selfishness on the part of the closest people.
If interaction with parents brings only disappointment and stress, it is worth thinking about complete exclusion of communication.
With relatives
Relatives, like parents, are not chosen. Often the reason for not wanting to communicate with relatives lies in their aggression, indifference or obsession. If communication with relatives is not a pleasure, it should be kept to a minimum.
In this case, it is not necessary to completely stop contact, because in spite of everything these people are family members.
The situation may be such that with the passage of time, the positions of the parties will change. You will hear the words of apology, after which reconciliation will be possible.
It is desirable even with dislike for relatives observe the elementary rules of decency: congratulate on holidays, be interested in health, help in difficult life situations. This will make it possible not to proceed to open conflict and maintain hope for reconciliation.
An exception make up situations when relatives behave in a really mean, hypocritical, cruel way.
For example, they rub into trust for the sake of inheritance, appropriate property to themselves, interfere in personal affairs, etc.
In such cases, it is better to completely exclude contacts.
With colleagues
Getting a job, we get into a certain team. Its employees differ in age, gender, level of upbringing and education, intelligence, manner of communication, character and temperament.
Most people spend at work a significant proportion of their time. Accordingly, it is safe to say that part of life passes among colleagues.
The ability to establish communication with the staff of the organization helps not only to ensure psychological comfort, but also to maintain the efficiency of labor. A man works much better when he interacts productively with his colleagues.
Any workflow is always emotionally colored for its participants. People cannot fulfill their duties without showing any emotion. Accordingly, the apparent reluctance of the person to communicate with others, can lead to misunderstanding and insults.
It is important to learn to support conversations on general topics, inserting at least a couple of replicas.
Do not forget demonstrate goodwill and positive.
As a rule, this is quite enough for people, since most of them like to talk more than listen.
Do not show hostility towards colleagues even if they deserve it.
Even in the most difficult team, you can take a neutral position, without forcing yourself to express artificial emotions, to hypocrite and lie.
So, taciturn can manifest itself in a person for different reasons. Following the advice of psychologists, you can try to change your behavior.
I do not want to communicate. This is problem? What to do? Opinion psychologist:
