Communication with a married man - a situation that is becoming more common. Although sometimes the entertainment industry presents it as an opportunity to diversify the gray life, the attitude of the public as a whole remains acutely negative. Women who have fallen into this precarious situation may try to get out of it, but it is not always easy to understand themselves and the situation, although at first glance the decision is obvious. Where to find strength and how to part with a married man?
Causes of Attachment
Each such situation had a beginning, the reasons that led to it and supported it for some time. To break this connection, you need to understand them.
Emotions. Everything forbidden seems desirable to man - this idea is as old as the world. Passion, mystery, intrigue - all this provokes a surge of adrenaline and allows you to have fun for some time. It seems to many women that if they give up all of this, their lives will become dull.
If a woman is married and wants to start a relationship with someone else, without divorcing her husband, a married man is most suitable for her. It's simple - none of them will claim the role of legal spouse.
Sometimes a girl just doesn't want to get married. Career, problems in the family in which she grew up, other fears encourage her to look for someone who is unlikely to call for the crown.
Often, women who depend on a man become mistresses: he can be their boss, dean, or someone whose disfavor can bring a lot of problems.
Sometimes in the arms of a lover a girl brings a sense of inferiority. She may assume that a free man is not interested in her. And even the absence of reasons, as such, does not help solve the problem.
Surprisingly, some women may be in this position for many years, sometimes more than a dozen. They may feel that in adulthood no one will need them. Fear of loneliness encourages them to look for heat in a familiar source.
What can be done
The first step is to look at the situation without emotion, in fact. But the reality is: illegal relations are not only immoral, but also destructive for women. It is used for sexual pleasures, fun and flirting, in order to amuse your own ego or have someone who will depend on you. It is naive to think that a man will leave his wife: if he were ready for this step, he would have done it without a mistress.
Even if someone manages to achieve a divorce, this only leads to offensive comparisons, suspicions and conflicts. In the end, life makes a mistress a housewife, and if a man does not know how to appreciate family comfort, he will again go to the left. And living with the knowledge that you have destroyed a family and left children without a father is not as easy as it may seem.
It is important to realize for yourself that such relationships are not only unpromising, but also steal valuable time that you can devote to a truly loving person.
To fix for yourself a sober look at the situation, it is better to write down all these thoughts in a diary, and reread when a wave of emotions rolls.
Efforts must be made to gain independence, both internal and actual. If a material condition depends on a lover, you need to find a way to support yourself. It would not be amiss to have friends whose support you can count on.
Get rid of the complexes. This journey begins with self-care. Jokes that changing hair and wardrobe, a woman changes lives, have a considerable share of truth.
You should not stop at this: you need to contact a specialist. He not only listens, but also helps to see in himself what interferes with his own happiness.
Technical nuances
Just take and leave - not as easy as we would like. If you disappear without saying goodbye, the lover can take it as a romantic adventure or a whim. Without an explanation can not do. You just need to put a person in front of the fact of ending the relationship. It would not be wise to impose any conditions, blame or quarrel. It will be like a surge of emotion, and not at the decision.
There is a simple rule: you need to leave at the beginning of the day, in the field of visibility of people. If the conversation takes place in the evening, in the apartment and in private, it may not be enough determination to resist possible persuasion.
However, with the departure of the story does not end there. It is necessary to prepare for the fact that memories will come, longing, perhaps - the desire to return. These feelings should be treated as inevitable symptoms. They do not say that the decision was wrong, they say that the attachment really was.
A good way to help yourself is to occupy your thoughts and hands with an interesting job or a hobby for which there was not enough time.
You should not immediately seek solace in the arms of others - the choice made in the heat of the moment is unlikely to be wise.
Over time, emotions will subside, tears will dry out, no need to rush yourself or vice versa dwell on what happened. Do not give up the help of a psychologist. The specialist will tell you how to part with a married man, help you treat what happened correctly and start a new page in life.
