All those who love may face betrayal, and all who are friends, too. It is only important to know that the betrayal of a loved one is not a reason to close and close. The most annoying thing is that there is no protection against betrayal.
What not to do to those who have betrayed
Betrayal is a very strong blow to our soul. First of all, self-esteem suffers: often the victim seems that he is not worthy of love. This feeling is false, but getting rid of it is not easy.
A person loses confidence in not only his former lover, but also in general to people. In addition, betrayal can lead to depression and withdrawal. What to do if the psyche has suffered? Do not aggravate the situation. First of all, do not drown your grief the sea of alcohol. Ethanol will never help and generally harmful. You also can not become a bitch or an angry man. Do not punish other people for not their offense. In addition, so you can blink the one who will become your real happiness.
Also, do not look for the guilty. You do not have to blame yourself for everything that happened, nor blame the traitor. The search for the "truth" in this case is unproductive and will simply undermine the already damaged nervous system.
Do you need to continue the relationship?
Can you forgive the betrayal of a loved one, only you decide. There is a desire to glue a broken cup and then try to drink coffee from it - please. But in general, if a person betrayed once, then you simply are not expensive to him, which means he will do it repeatedly. You can forgive a substituted friend, but know that he will substitute more than once. Do you really need this happiness?
Do not lose confidence
Well, if your friends are ready to help you and suggest how to survive the betrayal of a loved one. It really helps. But what about when you just want to close and never talk to anyone else? Remember that only time heals.
No need to generalize. Do not think that all men are traitors, etc. If it were so, there would not be so many happy and friendly couples. Do not put a label on all persons of the opposite sex. If it’s not the first time you are betraying you, it’s probably your own.
Try to remember the good. Surely, apart from the traitor, you have reliable and loving people who have proven their love more than once. Concentrate on the good qualities of people, because there are obviously more of them than bad ones. And yet, you can do good yourself. This is generally the best way to get away from your own grief and not be disappointed in people. So, participate in charity events, become a volunteer and you will see how many kind and caring people there are.
- See also: 6 reasons why you should accept life as it is
How to get out of the darkness?
As after any other severe shock, after the betrayal we go through several stages:
- Acute pain. Now all the colors in an instant have faded and you don’t want to contact anyone. But do not - now you really need to be alone with yourself and digest everything yourself;
- Insult. Sometimes it is accompanied by hatred;
- Humility. You have already taken the situation and realized it. Now you can forgive this person, but consider whether you need to give him a chance. If you are not able to forgive, now you are getting ready to cross out a person forever;
- Feelings are slowly fading away, and mental balance is restored.
How to act to extremely quickly survive all these metamorphoses?
Try to realize. Not even a fact, but the real cause of betrayal. Perhaps the half you have changed due to the fact that your love for her has already passed and life remained out of habit. Loved one simply could not stand your indifference.
If the lover and the truth turned out to be a dishonorable person, then it remains only to thank life for the fact that she took you away from such a person.
Understand that you are entitled to weakness. If it hurts and there is a desire to throw and tear, then do so: shout, beat the dishes, tear common photos. But only once. Then you will need strength to restore balance.
Understand that life goes on
It seems to all offended and devotees that they will die, that they can never be happy again. But live! And you also live, breathe, hear ... This person was not air or water, he was an ordinary person, besides, not the best.
And you have friends, hobbies and favorite music. Don't let treason take it away from you.
We are looking for new experiences
It also works in all cases. We do not sit within the four walls, but do something interesting, otherwise your grief will gain universal proportions.
Just let that person go.
Let something better in life than this unhappy love.
We live in the present
You understand that the past can not be returned. So, you should not scroll back: this is what would have happened if you had done or said something different a couple of days before the betrayal. It only accelerates the brain and eats your energy. If you said something different a couple of days before the betrayal, then all the same, nothing would have changed, really.
Sign up with a psychologist. A psychologist is not one who calms mentally ill people, but one who allows people not to become psychos in difficult situations. So calmly ask for help from a professional when you cannot cope with your own emotions. That's why he is an expert, so that you can consider your situation soberly and objectively, and also indicate what you are not noticeable in this situation. Be honest with a professional and follow all his recommendations.
Get a diary of happiness. You can even notepad. But write down everything beautiful in it that happened to you during the day, all your positive emotions.
We use positive attitudes
You are not unhappy and not abandoned, but interesting and free. As soon as the thought that you are unhappy flies into your head, instantly replace it with a positive attitude. Remember that unfortunate positive and good luck will never be lured into your life.
Look to the future
Imagine that you are soaked and frozen at a dark stop, hungry and ready to cry, but the bus never comes. And then a miracle happens and you are already warming yourself on the bus in a comfortable chair. After another half an hour, you are already in a warm house, emerge from wet shoes in a warm bathrobe and drink hot tea with cheesecake. But thirty minutes ago you could not even think that you would be so happy, right? The same situation is with betrayal: time will pass and you will be happy again.
You can also remember the past. Sometime some insults and troubles seemed to you the most terrible. And now? Was it all so hopeless? No. Now know that everything will pass.
Do your favorite things
Your hobby is great to help lift your spirits. If possible, do this constantly and every free minute. Try to bring all your skills to perfection. If you are a creative person, then personal drama is best sublimated into new works. Who knows, maybe you give birth to a masterpiece and become a classic? If you manage to switch - over time, the severity of pain from betrayal will pass. By the way, when you lived with your husband or boyfriend, did you have a lot of time for your favorite work?
- What to do if nothing pleases: 10 ways to awaken interest in life
How to survive the betrayal in adulthood
Love (and not only) dramas happen not only in youth. But how to survive the betrayal of a loved one when you are over 40 or 50 years old? To forget, forget that you cannot meet a new love at this age. It is possible and without the mistakes of youth. You probably already have grown up children who will support in a difficult situation and should live for their sake. If they are adults and live separately, it's time to fulfill their long-standing desires, to go where they wanted to, to learn that, for which there was no time before. And just let the traitor go like a wise and mature person. Do not forget that youth continues for you, which means you will definitely attract a new love.
If you are too hard, you can tell yourself that betrayal and betrayal does not exist. There are only different worldviews and different life circumstances. We represent relations and general rules in different ways, which means that this may not even be a betrayal, but simply a selfish act. Well, why do you need this egoist?
On this topic:
5 tips for how to forgive the betrayal of a loved one
How to stop taking everything to heart: 8 ways
