Often we condemn people who are not able to feel embarrassed in any situations. To us, they seem to be vulgar, overly unfettered, and in some ways even arrogant. But with them you can have fun and spend time with interest, and such people always succeed in life, because they are not afraid of difficulties.
A shy person is perceived by us as boring, reticent and uninteresting. And, unfortunately, in the soul of such people accumulate a lot of negative emotions, as they want to change their character, but they do not succeed. I will tell you how to overcome shyness, and I am confident that together we will cope with this problem.
The content of the article:
Some personal advice
Psychologist's comment
How to overcome shyness
At one time, excessive shyness was inherent in me. And in many situations, it gave me a feeling of discomfort, because new companies caused a certain spiritual fear, and communication with people was constrained and somehow absurd. Despite this, I had friends, but with whom I wanted to communicate - they considered me inappropriate for their circle. Periodically envy of more successful people appeared, I wanted to be in their places.
The most offensive was the fact that in my heart I was liberated, I knew what to talk with people, to please them, I could take the initiative to lead the people. But some kind of invisible barrier interfered, which literally made me silent.
I seriously thought and told myself that all this does not suit me. I do not want all my life to be ashamed of people, as this is a direct path to unhappiness. I do not want to follow their backs, I want to get ahead. I have to change, and I will do it!
Tips based on personal experience
The first step is the most frightening, since having taken the path of struggle with shyness, at first there are thoughts that nothing good will come of it, and the distant goal seems to be completely unattainable. But in order to make it easier for you to move to the benchmark, let's make a plan that will clearly demonstrate what stage of the path we are at at the moment:
- the realization that other people are no different from you;
- the perception of failure is not the end of the world, but life's trials;
- clashing with what you fear.
The first thing you need to realize that the people around you are absolutely no different from you. And if they are confident, they are considered interesting personalities, they can easily find a common language with someone, then the worse you are? Stop fading behind their backs! You can also become the soul of the company, you can achieve great success in life, you can lead the people.
Do not forget that even the most influential and respected people are the same as you, they also need rest, food, sleep, they also have their dreams and desires, and they also encountered troubles in their lives.
Sometimes we perceive failure as the end of the world. It seems to us that people secretly scoff at us and blame us for our mistakes. In fact, you are too exaggerating. And even if there was some ridiculous situation, because of which you were subjected to offensive jokes from colleagues or acquaintances, then at least it was left in the past. Over time, no one will even remember about your failure, so it makes no sense for you to focus your attention on this. Imagine that it was just a life test that you have overcome with dignity.
You know, when I was in camp as a teenager, I was sent to a competition where there were a lot of tasks, and all of them had to be performed on the stage in front of a huge number of guys. I disgraced at the first stage. It was necessary to read the poem, but confused, I was able to remember only the first line, and then came the deathly silence. I didn’t know what to do, and didn’t know how to get rid of this microphone, and I just ran off the stage.
It was embarrassing, but I tried not to make a tragedy out of this failure, I collected my thoughts, and with the following stages of the contest I managed perfectly well. Of course, jokes about my performance periodically poured in my address, it was unpleasant, but I showed in my whole mind that this situation did not bother me, and even joked at myself in response to myself. And everyone who tried to hurt me with this was behind, since they did not receive the reaction they expected ...
And finally, the last step, how to overcome shyness, is to face your fears face to face. Force yourself to take the initiative in communicating with people, express your point of view on this or that issue, show discontent if something does not suit you.
And, by the way, during a conversation, always look in the eyes of your interlocutor, this will give you additional self-confidence. After all, a lowered look indicates that a person is shy. Of course, you will not be comfortable at first, but each time the shyness will disappear until it is no longer a problem for you.
Ksenia, Petrozavodsk
