Teenage crisis in a child - This is a test for his family.
But if adults recall how it was difficult for them themselves in the same period of life and what they hoped to hear from their parents, then it would be easier for them to establish a dialogue with their rapidly changing child.
Period characteristic
After the celebration of the tenth birthday of the children, many parents are beginning to increasingly frantically swallow saliva, recalling the inevitably approaching eleventh holiday.
Still, this is the first frontier of many terrible adolescence, which is marked by small and major revolutions in the relationship of the child and parents, nerves and tears on both sides.
In contacts with society, a child at this time also has some friction, but the result of this relationship is more reflected in the young rebel.
Society, in principle, does not care - the exception is some particularly responsible aunt-grandmothers who love to teach others not only in business, but just for the sake of fighting boredom.
Some families are “lucky” and their offspring fall into the zone of teenage turbulence a year earlier. Sometimes the onset of a difficult period is delayed for 6-12 months. Therefore, the second digit to determine the boundary of its end is also floating.
In general, physiologists and psychologists agree that the obvious manifestations of a difficult period occur from 11 to 17 years. In girls, "fun" begins and ends a year earlier.
It differs from the boyish one by the onset of menstruation, the first of which occurs at the time of the beginning or mid-adolescent crisis.
More specifically, adolescence refers to the stage of human development when he ceases to be a child, but has not yet become an adult. At this time, his reproductive system is actively developing and is preparing to perform reproductive functions in the future.
At the same time, well-marked changes occur throughout the body: secondary sexual characteristics appear, the timbre of the voice changes, and the amount of subcutaneous fat increases.
But especially nervous system gets a small person — he is uncontrollably attracted to an adult mode of behavior, but there is not yet a clear understanding of the essence of the life of an independent individual.
Physiologically, every day he gets closer to the parameters of his parents, but he is not yet ready for significant and long-lasting loads of various kinds.
The main psychological characteristics of adolescents
How are psychological characteristics of a teenager determined? Changes in the body at first can cause confusion and promote the development of shyness.
Most often this occurs when the rapid growth of the body begins earlier or later than the rest of the guys from the team where the teenager learns.
Consider so much the main joys and sorrows typical of a teenager who has entered puberty.
Due to raging hormones, it is noted:
- Increased touchiness. A painful reaction is noted not only on the words, but also on gestures, the look of the interlocutor.
Especially acutely perceived attention to the temporarily problem area (acne, weight, breast size, voice).
- Contradictory behavior. For example, in one person, the desire to stand out among people in general and perfectly conform to the strict fashionable canons adopted in the group of such adolescents coexists perfectly.
- Sharp mood changes and general physical well-being.
- Elevated Conflict provoked by a number of factors. On the one hand, the “swing” in the mood influences the momentary attitude to the world and prevents the adolescent from adhering to the norms of behavior. From the other side you want to defend your personal boundaries by any available means, and there is a limited amount of them in reserve. And the most common is rudeness in response to a real or apparent infringement of rights. And since parents are also people with problems and nerves rocked from a difficult life, it is always within reach of a full-fledged loud conflict at every intersection with their teenager.
Age characteristics of a teenager's relationship with others are expressed.:
- In interest to the opposite sex. Previously, his representatives were automatically entered into the "black list" as enemy obscure entities.
- Reduced parental authority. In contrast, he put the estimated opinions of the guys from his circle of contacts. For a while, until a teenager learns to independently analyze the facts of interest, the conditional “black” will be perceived as “white” if friends who are respected by the teenager are convinced of this.
- To periodic runaways in your little world to think about yourself and living in complete solitude. This, in part, explains the adolescents' love to travel to the construction site of high-rises, where wonderful panoramas are opened and so drawn to indulge in long reflections on the meaning of life.
Formed to abstract self-expression, manifested in the love of philosophy (including pseudo-philosophical interpretations), drawing pictures with unusual subjects, writing poems.
There is an interest in self-improvement, the development of certain skills that require volitional efforts.
Boys
Psychology of a teenager boy in theses:
12-13 years old:
- Not all girls are fools.
- Rock, bicycles, swimming in the river and other parties with the kids - this is the best way to hang out.
- Many adults seem unbearably boring, but the worst thing is: the parent nimbus of omnipotence gradually fades.
- Around a single person with whom it would be possible to share a secret.
Interests are defended with perseverance, conflicts with ancestors are no longer frightening, as before.
14 years old:
- I am a PERSON.
- Lessons suck!
- You need to do whatever you like, but not in the way the teacher said, the parent.
- I am not like you, and more specifically I did not understand myself either.
- I want to go to the “monastery” - everyone got it.
- Troll in VK, etc. - the coolest thing in the world.
- That would be friends with Lenka-Svetka-Olka. Maybe buy her a teddy bear keychain?
- Everything is either white or black.
- How much you need to discuss with Vovka or Vitka!
15 years old-16 years old:
- Adults end up talking about their studies.
- Without Masha there is no life!
- I want to live separately!
- I can achieve everything I want!
- I myself know how.
Of girls
Psychology of a teenage girl in theses:
13 years old:
- Classmates all such children! Another thing is Sergei from 11-B.
- Every self-respecting girl should have a mountain of branded cosmetics.
- Mom is a bore.
- I have the right to walk until 12 at night, but dad is a usurper!
14 years old:
- I am already an adult and decide for myself who to make friends with and meet.
- I want to be a model: you dress beautifully, you do nothing and swim in luxury!
- The worst thing in the world - acne on the nose.
- To go to sleep in cosmetics and wake up in the morning in a war paint that does not need to be corrected is the height of skill.
- I will get what I want by any means!
15 years:
- I'm fat-skinny-long-scary!
- I want a millionaire husband.
- I will not drink vitamins, I do not want to go to school - I do not want anything - leave me all alone!
- Seryozha got married - life is over!
- I want to the end of the world, a lot of chocolate and a white huge bear with a long fur!
16 years:
- Finish school, leave forever from here!
- I am a free person, so I will come home when I decide.
- I understand everything better than adults.
- “I don't care about someone else's opinion” gets on well with “Oh, and how will Marinka like it and what does Romka say?”.
- "But as? And what should I do? ”, I’ll ask Alina, she’s still 17 and she knows everything. Mom will not understand, dad - even more so.
Personal development
Adolescence is desirable to overcome with typical for him. painful search for your way and gradual withdrawal from parental care.
Otherwise, everything that has not been experienced according to a plan of 11-15 years threatens with hidden neuroses, internal conflicts, loss of social orientation in life and an attempt to live through puberty according to the route laid down by nature.
Only vzbryki, like a 15-year-old, but at 30 years of age, will be even more painful as for the most rebellious, and his loved ones.
A crisis
Associated with gradual personal development and self-determination as an individual.
Like any form of transition from the usual level to the step with unknown rules of behavior, it is painful for all participants in the process, but it is necessary for the proper development of a teenager.
Youthful maximalism
What is adolescent maximalism? It is unwillingness to admit the fact that in life, figuratively speaking, there are very few pure forms of flawlessly white or black color.
Therefore, in all their actions teenagers rush from one extreme to the other not because of the frequent change of priorities, but because they cannot live otherwise.
If they are quarreling, then they are completely in love, they love to unconsciousness, they want to receive everything from life in strictly planned quantities.
In the latter case, no one is against exceeding the specified rate, but by no means allowed in thoughts the possibility of understating the supplied bar.
He is not so bad when you need to achieve a given goal. But it is not very convenient to support communication, for example, with friends.
Who, after all, are also looking for their own way, sometimes make mistakes and often very serious. If you break the relationship with all faithful friends because of their annoying mistakes, you can be completely alone. After all, there are no perfect people.
How to get rid of maximalism? Time helps to fight with maximalism. With life experience comes an understanding of not the perfection of the world and oneself, which is why the bar of requirements gradually decreases and relations with people develop in a more loyal format.
Aggressiveness
Why are teenagers aggressive? When the thyroid gland is working in an unstable mode, the manifestation of aggression is not surprising - hormone jumps can also turn a sheep into a hyena. But besides the physiological reasons, the unpleasant factor has social background.
What are the causes of aggression in adolescents? In short, it can be:
- Tense atmosphere in the family: fear of punishment for a bad mark, inadequate parent.
- Living in a disadvantaged area or studying in a class with a team of aggressively leading children - you have to adhere to the rule “you won't clap your teeth, tear them up like a Tuzik heater”.
- Living in luxury or, on the contrary, in poverty. In the first case, the teenager is not afraid of punishment for any deviations in behavior; in the second, he takes revenge on others for the inconveniences experienced.
- Fear of being in the role of the victim, he forces him to stand in the ranks of the torturers, so as not to stand out among them and not attract attention.
Tips for parents
What to do with aggressive behavior in adolescents?
Search for the root cause of aggression. In the case of the discovery of sadistic inclinations, be sure to seek help from a psychologist.
Under more favorable circumstances, take note that problem solving can help:
- Changing the principles of education.
- Correction of the manner of communication between adults and adolescents. Consider that in front of you is a maturing person who has not yet fully defined the limits of his personal boundaries, but who has been perfect at trying to break them.
- Report to the child that you really are a friend.
- Pick up a teenager to reduce adrenaline in a safe way.
- Recommend to improve your ability to stand up for yourself - there is no need to demonstrate the "fangs" for the sake of the evil and strong mask.
Autoagression
The desire to cause yourself indirect and direct harm develops based on hidden conflicting emotionswhich, for some reason, a teenager does not want to demonstrate to the outside world.
For example, she is angry at her parents, but she is afraid to openly declare this to them, for fear of serious punishment or not wanting to offend her beloved father or mother.
Typical radical auto-aggression:
- attempted suicide;
- tattoos, scarification;
- rejection of entertainment, food.
Disguised autoagression:
- substance abuse, smoking, alcoholism;
- care in the sect;
- walks in dangerous areas, the desire to conquer the skyscrapers.
Subculture
The need to join people with non-standard interests is manifested when breaking personal connections with loved oneswhose authority was recently significant.
Preserving the possibility of a full-fledged dialogue between parents and adolescents is the best prevention of complete immersion in life according to traditions, valued in the new team.
Adolescence is not easy, but the chances successfully skip this "minefield" very large, if each step is done with wide eyes and love in the heart.
Adolescent crisis or transitional age - advice from a psychologist:
