Very often, after parting, women have the idea of starting all over again, the weaker sex is arranged: hope dies last. Of course, the success of such a venture depends on each individual case. Sometimes it is better to forget forever about what happened, but there are also situations when a woman realizes that all is not lost, and begins to think about how to return her beloved person.
The content of the article:
Should I return the relationship
How to make contact
How to make a date
How to prepare for the meeting
Psychologist's comment
If you are in a similar position, then you should not undertake rash actions: returning your beloved is a rather delicate matter, so you need to approach him wisely and carefully.
Step 1: weigh the pros and cons
First of all, you need to answer honestly the question: do I need it? Many women, because of the fear of being alone forever, are trying with all their might to maintain even a difficult relationship in which they are unhappy.
In order to make the right choice, you need to weigh all the positive and negative aspects of your relationship. This can be done very simply: take a piece of paper, divide it into two vertical parts, write down everything you like in the first column, and write what you don’t like in your novel in the second column. Be as honest as possible - your personal happiness depends on it.
Only in the "minuses" column there should not be an item: "he does not love me" (or similar records). In such cases, it is better to suffer a little and forget, than to continue to torture yourself in a relationship that is predestined to failure. As the saying goes, love can't be forced.
If the advantages outweigh, and in addition you are confident in its reciprocity, then you can make a plan on how to return your loved one.
Step 2: make contact
Before embarking on action, you must first get rid of the painful silence or resentment between you. To do this, depending on the situation, you need to try to make contact.
If the initiator of parting - he
If a man does not agree to a personal meeting, do not insist or, worse, pursue him. Do everything gradually.
If you are guilty of something, and he is offended, you need to wait a while so that he can calm down and stop being angry with you. 3-4 days are usually enough. During this time, you can prepare a small cute surprise to appease a man. It should not be an expensive gift, so that it does not feel something owed to you. Think about what he really would like to get from you, show imagination.
Look at his reaction after receiving the gift and act on it: if he thanks for the surprise, go to the next step, and if you don’t get an answer, wait a little longer.
If the initiator of parting - you
Suppose you, because of some of his actions, decided to leave, for a long time fought off all his attempts to make peace, and then, when there was a lull, you suddenly wanted to return your loved one and relationship.
Try to write him an ordinary friendly message asking how he is doing, what is new in his life. It is likely that he will gladly make contact with himself and resume attempts to return you.
Step 3: Make an appointment
If you feel that he willingly communicates with you on the phone, in the social network or by SMS, then you should not postpone the meeting indefinitely. Offer him to meet somewhere in the city, but do not hint at a date or a serious conversation, so as not to scare him away. Do not immediately disclose your desire to be together again, but behave friendly and affable, show that you are bored and want to see.
It is better to choose a meeting place not from those where you liked to go with him during the period of relationships: this can provoke painful or unpleasant memories. Start a new story, go together to the newly opened cafe or to the park where you have not walked before.
Step 4: Prepare
Hurray! He agreed to see you! What to do next? The main thing - do not panic. All you get if you create the right impression. Your main task - to hit him, as in your first meeting.
Great idea - new hairstyle. Men love diversity, so why not change yourself for your lover? Just do not drastically change the color and length of hair: sometimes men inadequately respond to such abrupt changes.
Before the meeting, be sure to sleep well to look fresh. Let him see that the world has not turned over without him, that you are still young, adorable and beautiful.
Step 5: Enchant
On a date you need to behave as naturally as possible. If you feel that you can not hold back tears, drink motherwort before leaving: hysterics do not contribute to reconciliation.
Choose a behavior strategy depending on his reaction. You should not immediately bring down the recognition that you cannot live without it: proceed carefully. Get a casual conversation, ask about his life.
If he will be happy to talk with you, talking about recent events, interested in your news, trying to touch you during the conversation, then you can safely start talking about what you want to start all over again. If you feel aggression or alienation in his behavior, then you shouldn’t talk about the painful one: it’s quite likely that nothing will come of it except your humiliation.
Step 6: Build On Success
With the mutual desire to be together again, the continuation of a happy relationship is quite an expected result. However, not everything is so simple: you can not relax immediately after receiving the desired.
The first time after your reunion is a litmus test of the further development of your relationship. If quarrels ruin your life again, old grievances make themselves felt, then, most likely, you have in vain started this campaign to conquer a former guy.
The separation should be a lesson for both of you: if you really want to be together, then you need to understand your mistakes in the relationship and try not to allow them anymore. Be sure to talk heart to heart, expressing your experiences and feelings associated with the cause of your separation, so that there is no misunderstanding between you. Trust and ability to hear your other half are the main components of strong and happy relationships.
Galina, Vladivostok
