Love is a feeling that worries every person to one degree or another.
It can suddenly break out and in the same way. rapidly fade away.
It so happens that one day you suddenly realize: I do not like my husband. What to do in this situation? Psychological advice will come to the rescue.
How to understand that love has passed?
I do not know if I love my husband?
Love and bright feelings go away, relationships between partners change, conflicts start to arise more often.
In such a situation it is difficult to understand whether the love between you or you together just out of habit.
If you want to understand, try to ask yourself a few questions:
- Yes? If you close your attention to any trifles, discard conflicts and listen to yourself, how will you answer this question? Not when you move to a big apartment / husband change jobs / you have a child, but are you happy here and now?
- Are you ready to work on relationships? It is no secret that a happy marriage is the work of partners on themselves and on relationships. Do you want to make an effort to get out of a crisis situation? And why haven't you started doing it yet?
- Is there something in your partner that you do not accept in a relationship? He may be abusing alcohol, not working or even hitting you. It happens that it opens only after several years of marriage. If you absolutely do not like it, then why suffer?
- Why did you start dating and getting married? Maybe just a suitable pair was not around, and then somehow spun? Or were relatives constantly pressing on you? Or are you terrified of loneliness?
- If your partner invites you to break up, what will you feel? Just before yourself, be honest. Will you be unhappy? Upset? Or feel relieved?
These questions must be answered sincerely. Do not lie to yourself. And then you will understand whether you really have lost your spouse's love, or simply you have a phase of crisis in a relationship that is worth working on.
I do not like my husband. What to do? Find out from the video:
What are the causes of fading feelings in marriage?
Love passed, romance ended and ordinary life began.
A man no longer strives to surprise and conquer a woman, because she is already his.
A woman does not have enough attention, but she is full of worries around the house, and she herself forgets to charm her man.
Gradually spouses begin spend less time together, less interested in each otherpractically do not communicate. Relations are cooling, the gap between them is getting bigger.
Perhaps a man just wants to fence the darling of his problems. A woman is faced with indifference or misunderstanding when she begins to talk about something.
The main reason for the extinction of feelings is the lack of dialogue between the spouses and the unwillingness to work on the relationship.
Do not expect that everything will work out somehow. If you ignore the problem, then sooner or later a serious conflict will arise. It is better to immediately discuss emerging issues and misunderstandings.
Psychology of such relationships
It often happens that for some reason the family is either formed without love, or forced to continue its existence without it.
Psychologists distinguish two types of similar relationships:
- old feelings turned into alienation and indifference. Often, one can observe mutual reproaches, resentments, and showdowns. Everyone is for himself and lives his life. Perhaps there is even a rude attitude or treason. Spouses are not comfortable in each other's company;
- the feeling of love left the couple, but grew into respect and mutual understanding. They do not have strong feelings for each other, but they can live together further, being interested in each other and communicating. The partner is still comfortable with each other.
I do not want my man! Causes and what to do about it? Psychotherapy:
Married without love from the point of view of psychologists
Sometimes it happens that the marital union created without any feeling of love.
For example, a girl became unplanned pregnant or pressed her spouse. Or the man made an offer, and the girl agreed for fear of being alone.
It happens that a girl just sees for herself. profitable futurebecause her fiance does not suffer from poverty. Or a young man makes an offer, because everyone around you says that it is time to settle down.
From the point of view of psychology, marriage is not for love, but because “time” or “need” usually leads to disappointment.
Without mutual feelings, it is difficult to have a dialogue with a partner, to sort out relationships and to deal with life.
Girls often think that spouse will not go anywhere and you can twirl them as you like.
Young people feel the loss of freedom, such relations oppress them. Therefore, life together takes place in constant oppression, until one spouse decides to leave.
Is it possible to live in a marriage without loving?
Why is it impossible to live without love? Without love in a marriage between partners, alienation and unwillingness to compromise are most often observed. From here constant quarrels and conflicts. Who would love such a life?
But without love in a marriage, you can only live if you feel respect for your partner and are ready to be with him no matter what.
Is it possible to love a second time?
No matter how old you are already together, always you can refresh your relationship again and fall in love with your partner again.
This can happen as a result of your joint work on relationships or someone's initiative.
For example, the husband will devote more time to his wife and arrange pleasant surprises.
The wife will begin to better monitor their appearance, will cease to reproach the spouse and be offended for no reason. And then between you again will break out love.
Marry without love? Can I love my husband after the wedding? Find out from the video:
What to do to return the feelings?
How to love a husband or wife again? If you do not want to give up and intend to return love to your relationship again, then try this:
- Remember why you are with this person. How did your relationship start? What exactly attracted you to your partner? Try to reproduce what feelings were experienced on the first date or when he first took your hand. And the first kiss and long walks?
Just do not need to compare how it was then and how now. Just enjoy the memories, they will help you get the right mood.
- Talk to your partner. Open to him, tell me that the feelings have died away. But now you need not a clarification of relations and scandal, but a calm constructive dialogue. Tell us what you are missing and decide with your spouse how to fix it.
Accept each other. There are no perfect people. But when feelings go away, we increasingly see negative sides in our partner. Think about what you do not like, maybe you are too critical. Maybe something should close your eyes? Try to concentrate more often on what you value in your spouse and for which you are grateful. And another important point about which many couples forget: if something annoys you so much in your partner, tell him about it. Calmly discuss this point and most likely you will be able to reach some kind of compromise.- Try something new. Sometimes it is not enough to remember the past and want some freshness in the relationship. Try to go somewhere where you have not been before. Spend a joint evening as an unusual. Come up with new traditions. Surprise each other.
- Understand that change is normal. You can often hear: "You're not the person I married!". Or "You have changed a lot, I no longer recognize you!".
Understand that it is much worse if a person has not changed over the years and remains the same. People need to evolve.
- Take a break. There is nothing wrong. If you see every day, weekends and vacations are sure to spend together, then you just do not have time to miss each other. There is nothing to worry about if you are a bit tired of each other. To get started, try to at least spend a day off separately from each other. In the future, you will need to get used to the fact that not spending time together is sometimes even useful. It can also bring fresh feelings to the relationship.
Accept each other. There are no perfect people. But when feelings go away, we increasingly see negative sides in our partner. Think about what you do not like, maybe you are too critical. Maybe something should close your eyes? Try to concentrate more often on what you value in your spouse and for which you are grateful. And another important point about which many couples forget: if something annoys you so much in your partner, tell him about it. Calmly discuss this point and most likely you will be able to reach some kind of compromise.Advice of experts, how to live with unloved?
It is often possible to observe such situations that there is no love left, but you need to live together.
What to do in this case? How to learn to live without love:
- First of all, Try not to make empty quarrels. Who needs it? Constant clarification of relationships will only spoil the mood for everyone. Therefore, before you start another conversation with a complaint, you should think several times: is it worth it?
- Secondly, treat your partner with respect. Whatever it was, but after all, he once meant a lot to you, didn't it?
- third, talk to your spouse. For purity. Explain it as it is. It will be better if even in such a situation you are honest. Think together how to move on and avoid uncomfortable situations. It will also help to avoid scandals in the future;
- fourthly show understanding. You may have fallen out of love with your spouse, but could he have feelings? Do not play them in any way;
- fifth, don't try to hurt a person on purpose and do not provoke him to make a decision about the end of a relationship. It sometimes happens that one of the spouses does not want to take responsibility and is trying to make the partner break off the relationship.
Decide for yourself whether you want to live with this person. If not, then find the strength in yourself to finish it all.
Is it worth living in an unhappy marriage for the sake of children? Opinion psychologist:
When should you decide to leave?
If you could not understand, the habit is, pity for a partner or feelings just for a while the feelings subsided, then difficult to decide to break.
Therefore, first you need to understand yourself.
It seems to you that there is a stranger next to you? Your partner does not cause any pleasant emotions and at the thought of him covers you with a wave of negativity?
And most importantly: are you uncomfortable around this person? Well, in such a situation it makes sense to leave the family. It is possible that both you and your spouse will be able to find new happy relationships in the future.
In any case, no need to leave, slamming the door loudly. Show respect to the person who was once loved. Explain the reason for such changes in your attitude towards him.
If, however, a little pleasant remains, then maybe it is worth working on relationships and keeping the family together?
When the thought “I don't love my spouse” sounds more insistent in your head, this alarm bell. You will have to dig a lot in yourself, talk with your partner and understand already, whether you see the future with this person or not.
10 signs that you just have to leave:
