What does every modern person want, regardless of tastes, type of activity and social status? Of course, everyone wants happiness, recognition and full realization of their own talents. Everyone, without exception, a person is born with some talent, with a set of their outstanding abilities and unique skills. This is not an exaggeration - the basic, basic “set” of talents is everyone has from birth. This determines in many ways the future of man - born a musician, will not become an architect. Or it will be, but a bad architect. And miserable.
Realization and self-confidence
What is most dependent on the maximum realization of your potential? In addition to talent, knowledge, experience, the most important place is occupied by such a quality as self-confidence, in one’s own strength and talents. How to become a self-confident person - this phrase is constantly on the hearing, but what does it mean?
You should not mistakenly confuse self-confidence and self-confidence - these are different concepts. A self-confident person is one who biasedly ascribes to himself those qualities and merit that he does not have, tries to “jump higher than his head,” impersonating himself as a specialist, although in reality it costs little. Excessive conceit is far from being a virtue. But self-confidence is already a completely different quality.
Self-confidence in one’s own strength is the vital and seemingly absolutely natural quality of each person. This means that a person objectively evaluates himself and his knowledge, knows his own worth and is not afraid of competition. The key concept here is objectivity. In other words, knowing his talents, skills and experience, a person knows how to operate them competently and understands that this is his weapon. So, there is nothing to be afraid of.
What qualities are inherent in a confident person? There are many, just a partial list:
- Equilibrium;
- Competent, laconic speech;
- Ability to formulate a thought;
- Calmness, lack of fussiness;
- The habit of calmly looking into the eyes of the interlocutor;
- Hardness.
- Openness, sincerity;
- Charm;
And in the complex it means - this person is successful always and in everything.
Where does self-doubt come from?
Before you understand how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, you should consider where the "legs grow from." In other words, understanding the causes of uncertainty, it will be easier to solve the problem. And the reasons should be sought far in the past.
First of all, it is worth understanding that self-confidence is a natural, innate property, but insecurity is an acquired quality imposed by someone. Most often parents and teachers are guilty - but you should not blame them for this, because such psychological processes occur unconsciously, and not out of malice. Scolding for mistakes, punishing, calling pictures “daub”, and dancing “grimacing,” the child is firmly inculcated with uncertainty in his own talents. Later, the school does its job - alas, teachers rarely set themselves the task of educating successful and self-confident individuals, and all their actions are directed to the opposite. Here is the result.
How to develop self-confidence and raise self-esteem - practical and real steps.
The most important step has already been taken - if you understand that you lack this quality and set yourself the goal of building it up, then success is not far off. After all, the actualization of the problem is already half the solution to this very problem. Next thing is small. Below are six practical steps that, if you are persistent and correct, really help to become more confident, get rid of the clutches and complexion, and change your life. However, for this to happen, it is not enough to read the tips - you need to follow them. And not one day, and not even a month. The result will not come immediately, and overcoming is the most important moment.
Step One: Awareness.
It only seems simple at first glance, but in reality, perhaps. The most difficult and crucial step. Because here it is necessary to think carefully. Turn off the phone, remove all distractions, and think about where your self-doubt came from. What exactly are you unsure about? What do you not allow yourself to manifest, how do you limit yourself? Write it on paper. In the column. For example:
- I am not clear enough and beautifully formulate my thoughts;
- I have little theoretical knowledge on a particular issue;
- I'm afraid to go out and perform;
And so on, according to the list. Read this list - and you will see in front of you a concrete plan for action.
Step two: making a plan.
You should objectively evaluate yourself. If you have two diplomas and the degree of associate professor, then talking about the lack of theoretical knowledge is outright nonsense. Be honest with yourself and cross out all the items that are not true. All that remains is your initial plan. Learn to speak beautifully? Perform in public? Even get further education? Make a real, complete plan, and immediately proceed to its implementation.
Step three: new rules.
Make it a rule not to scold, not to punish and not to criticize yourself, but not to make excuses and apologize to others. At first it will not be easy, but strict control and willpower will help. Clear your speech from constant apologies, excuses, and other unstable sluggish nonsense - forget about it. Believe me, it will not make you impolite or rude. This will give brevity, clear the speech from the superfluous, and will create already some hint of a more or less confident and collected person. Already something. And instead of scolding yourself - change. Right now.
Step four: courses and trainings.
It helps, oddly enough. Start actively working on yourself - watch lectures and seminars, read books of outstanding trainers on this topic. Sign up for a good course of oratory to an experienced coach - after six months you will not recognize yourself. Go to the acting studio! It may seem strange and unnecessary to you, but you won’t believe what powerful results such lessons provide. The fact is that in the lessons of acting and oratory, special techniques and trainings are used, which help to relax, remove clamps and complexes, become more self-confident, bold and open. It works, do not hesitate!
Step five: look for teachers.
Without a mentor you can not go far. This does not mean that you need a personal trainer. The teacher can be anyone in your environment, and he may not even guess his role for you. The main rule - it should be what you want to be. Not in all, of course, but in terms of confidence - yes. Find a person in your environment, but rather a group of people who know how to become self-confident and have already achieved it! And try your best to spend as much time as possible in the same company with these people. Communicating with them will imperceptibly affect you - and the desired qualities will simply come to you in the most wonderful way. Communicating with your peers, you will remain in place. Communicating with those who are below you, lower yourself. Being in the company of those who are higher - rise. This is an axiom.
Step Six: Overcoming every day.
Any personal growth always happens through overcoming. There is simply no other way in our world: without straining your muscles and not sweating, do not pump your biceps. So it is here - without overcoming the internal resistance, it is impossible to achieve a result. Set goals every day - and follow them. What are you afraid of? Let it not be directly related to your career, it does not matter - after all, self-confidence manifests itself in everything. The only way to overcome fear is to simply do what you fear. There is no other.
Write a list of what you are afraid to do. And start doing it! Rough? May be. But it will definitely work. Are you afraid to meet beautiful girls on the street? Set a goal and try. The main thing is not the result, but the intention and the attempt. Even if she refuses to meet - you did it! Are you afraid of heights? Go on a roller coaster! Just do not go too far and take care of yourself.
By following all these recommendations, you will be surprised at the result. But be a strict judge - because before becoming a self-confident person, you will have to overcome a lot of resistances and defense mechanisms of the psyche. Do not give up what you started, remember that this is your decision - and very soon your life will change in such a way that you will not believe it. Good luck!
