What forms can psychological violence in the family take and who most often becomes the object of harassment?
For example, an anecdote about a boy returning home with the question “Did I get cold or hungry?” Is a perfectly memorable example of family existence excessive pressure on the child.
So if you think about a comic story, it’s not funny anymore. Especially if you understand that the habit of not being interested in the opinions of those who are younger, weaker - physically or psychologically, the majority does not cause indignation.
It's for the sake of silly people of all ages! It is this cover that is used. lovers to command and suppress, depriving the ward not only of freedom of choice in any significant matters, but also the opportunity to develop or maintain this ability, necessary for a normal person.
What is meant by this term?
In theory, emotional forms of domestic violence include various forms systematic contactless impact on another person in order to make him obey and always act according to the will of the psychological aggressor.
Typically, victims of psychological pressure are women and children, but men are not insured from such an impact.
How does it manifest itself?
Emotional abuse not always dressed in rude words and elevated tone.
The hardest consequences are caused by a veiled psychological aggression, hiding under the mask of love and care, causing cognitive dissonance in the victim.
She is experiencing remorse for his imperfection and “bad” behavior, but subconsciously feels that the accusations made to her are groundless or not as terrible as it is presented.
By what featured recognize psychological abuse:
- Your behavior is constantly criticized, and discontent is expressed not only alone, but also in the presence of relatives or outsiders;
- communication with you for the most part occurs on high tones, with insults and demonstrations of anger;
- you are forbidden to react negatively to comments. The emotional perception of criticism can also be to blame;
- all achievements are "viewed" through a diminishing lens, dreams ridiculed;
- decisions on any issues should always be consistent with your "manager";
- you are responsible for all the imperfections of the world: the torturer forces you to answer for your own and others' mistakes, without being embarrassed in expressions in order to quickly throw off steam;
- of you loudly make the torturer, blaming the controller for all the problems. If it were not for you, he would "necessarily" reach the crankcase, financial, creative heights;
- your feelings are not taken into account, tears and protest cause sincere surprise, indignation, and in pathological cases - satisfaction;
- you are systematically accused of something, because of a feeling of guilt you want or agree to fulfill all the desired psychological aggressor;
- any of your attempts at independent steps invoke an avalanche of criticism and disproportionate displeasure;
- for disobedience threaten deprivation of material goods, which you already have the right to own;
- meetings with colleagues are prohibited - outside working hours, with friends, relatives in their free time;
- ignored the need for personal space and the right to it;
- you are punished with the help of silence for an imaginary or real wrongdoing - they stop being noticed or minimally communicating, demonstrating contempt with all kinds.
Causes of moral violence
Most often, psychological violence from a partner or parent develops when one or several of the following factors exist:
- Relationships with you are built by example, received in childhood. And it is not necessary that today's tyrant in the past was oppressed by his parents and siblings.
It is possible that he was a pet and darling, whose words and whims were performed as soon as they flew from his lips. Now he expects the same from you.
- The teacher has low self-esteem and is looking for the easiest ways. compensation disadvantaged "I".
- Torturer not mentally healthy: a sociopath, has a serious endocrine disease that affects the nervous system, he is an alcoholic or a drug addict, has a different relationship that affects his ability to control his emotions.
- You're in command failed "Napoleon": the ability to bully you is the only power available to him.
- Tyrant has no skills civilized communication.
In the absence of adequate resistance, each subsequent emotional pressure stronger than the previous one.
Therefore, the victims with years of experience living under the same roof with the tyrant, there is practically no moral strength to remedy the situation.
They are no longer able to adequately assess their capabilities, understand their strengths and weaknesses, make decisions and plan for the future.
Why victims of psychological abuse most often women become?
- Many women were brought up in families where children had no say - Once, girls were taught that men and all people are older than her in age "inhabitants of heaven", which must be obeyed - two. As a result, girls grow out of such daughters who cannot make decisions on their own, are not able to defend their interests and to resist any violence, because they believe that they do not have the right to resist.
- Having created a family and choosing the role of the keeper of the hearth, without gaining professional skills and without own income a woman runs the risk of being in a position “must be for a husband for life” If the faithful has complexes, then there is a high probability that over time the spouse will be under the pressure of psychological violence.
- Part of women consciously choose submission, considering that total control is a peculiar manifestation of special attention and love.
- On the behavior according to the requirements of the tyrant can push no separate living space, own financial pillows and affection for children in common with him.
- In some countries, women minimal social rights. They are from birth in a dependent position and are prepared to be lightning conductors for their spouses and their older relatives. Having married such ladies for many years they are “under the heel” of the husband and mother-in-law, and when their own children have families, they repeat the behavior of tyrants, playing back on new relatives during their difficult years.
Energy vampire: concept and signs
It is believed that at the moment of mental discomfort in a person the energy field weakens, which is why, against his will, he becomes a donor of mental forces for another person who has the need for invisible reinforcement.
Therefore, the vampire does not wait for midnight to get drunk on your blood - it is enough for him to disturb you to enjoy the emotional surgecaused by tears and a bad mood of the victim.
How to recognize a living vampirepreying on your invisible energy?
- Partner specially and often controversy. Before their height, he looks tired and exhausted; after the conflict, he seems to be getting younger: his eyes shine like after a full sleep, his cheeks turn pink, his mood improves as opposed to yours.
- A person is looking for the slightest opportunity for dialogue so that complain about your bitter fate. With the participation diligently inquires about the details of your troubles. After communication, you do not have a single drop of moral and physical strength, and the other person is healthy.
- Particularly advanced in the ability to steal someone else's energy do not even need scandals: a few touches or short friendly hugs can instantly make holes in your energy field, which will cause you to experience severe discomfort for no apparent external reason.
What to do?
To begin with, it is important to realize that you are not the embodiment of the imperfections of the world. You are just being manipulated to meet the interests of others.
It is difficult to realize and even harder to accept - the struggle with the victim’s own complex or savior of the tormentor’s soul requires considerable moral effort.
The next stage after realizing the problem, the definition of a set of measures for confrontation psychological aggressor. Options for effective steps to get out of the situation:
- To draw the tormenter's attention to his own imperfections.if it can still be considered an adequate person and your resistance will not cost you physical health. But unlike his practice of bringing up humiliation, to speak out his arguments reasonably, without losing one's dignity or belittling someone else. Best alone. Publicly, such actions can be taken only in critical situations, when you intend to break with the psychological aggressor and have the material capabilities for this or have prepared another way to retreat.
- Offer to contact a psychologist, to resolve the urgent problems.
- To break relations.
How to deal with emotional pressure?
How to communicate with the vampire and the torturer? We need to remember that you have all the same rights as the emotional tyrant.
This understanding will be the first brick in the process of restoring the psychological core of faith in one's own strength and capabilities.
Take further steps in the fight against emotional abuse considering the situation:
- Mark the boundaries of the allowed communication in controversial and conflict situations. In some cases, this has a sobering effect on the lovers of psychological pressure, and they begin to behave more correctly.
- Limit communication with the aggressor. If you are with his family, and there is no enlightenment in the relationship, gradually prepare a platform for breaking off relations: take care of the financial pillow, work, and a roof over your head.
- Take care of the support team: other relatives or people who have authority in the eyes of a psychological tyrant can convince him and influence his attitude towards you.
- Sometimes attempts to emotionally crush another person by themselves arise from the desire to look more solid and more experienced than a partner. Relationship Correction Course under the supervision of a good family psychologist will allow you to direct the development of relations in a normal way.
It is difficult to resist psychological violence if you agree with a tyrant day after day in an unflattering assessment of yourself.
Become a full-fledged man in his eyes can only: recalling your dignity, repulse every time you try to mix you with dirt, make fun or humiliate you.
If there is no hope for an adequate response, there is the slightest risk of a threat to your health, you need quickly get rid of such a relationship so as not to degrade under constant pressure on the psyche and not be in a stalemate when there is no opportunity to live the rest of your life with your head held high.
How is moral violence in relationships? Find out from the video:
