I hate my parents: ways to overcome negative feelings

Father-child relationships often become the inspiration for the creation of literary and cinematic works. Sometimes it seems that feelings towards family members may be purely tender, but this is not so. Often, a matured child cannot even see his mom and dad, blaming them for his many troubles. Why do grown-up children hate their parents?, and is there a way to handle this problem?

All the troubles of childhood

Psychologists do not get tired to note that many of the problems that disturb a person in adulthood are born in childhood. Sudden criticism of abilities can be a source of complexes, and a long-time resentment against mother in the future will generate hatred or neglect.

So, what problems in the upbringing of a child may in the future affect his attitude towards parents?

Insufficient attention from adults.

Often, mom and dad work so hard that they hardly see their own child. As a result, the baby feels abandoned, resentment is growing, which in the future results in either a fluttering hatred or indifference. As a teenager, a child learns to independently solve their problems. When mom and dad suddenly interfere with his adult life, it causes rejection and even hatred.

Bad habits of parents give rise to conflicts in the family.

It is quite difficult for a child to love mom and dad, who are more often drunk than sober. Harmful habits or dependence cause conflicts in the family, which slowly but surely divide the social unit. As a result, the matured child does not want to see and hear her problem relatives.

Rudeness and aggression on the part of parents creates hatred in the child’s soul.

How often do adults raise their hands on babies? If this happens systematically and for no apparent reason, conflicts cannot be avoided. In the future, a person will surely remember all the cuffs and collect debts from parents for offense.

Indifference at times kindles more fire than open aggression.

Often the child is not desirable or the desire of parents to establish a personal life cares them much more than the needs of their own children. Parents do not express love in relation to the child, do not spend their free time with him, ignore his successes. It turns out that relatives become infinitely distant for each other people. As a result, in the future, it will be very difficult to avoid negative emotions of a child towards adults.

This is just a short list of reasons that could in childhood create a source of conflict between parents and their children. Psychologists emphasize that dealing with such a source of hatred is amazingly difficult. The enmity is so old-fashioned that the child is simply not able to forgive mom and dad, continuing to hate them throughout their lives.

Adult problems as a source of negative feelings

Often, the relationship of parents with a child begins to deteriorate suddenly, and, at first glance, for no apparent reason. This can happen because of the following nuances in the communication of generations:

Mom and Dad are unhappy with the success of the child’s career or personal life;
parents continue to perceive an adult as an inexperienced child;
parents too actively implant their opinions, try to interfere in the whole human affairs;
Mom and Dad interfere with the child to build a personal life;
the older generation requires excessive financial support or too much attention from an adult child.

"I hate my parents because of their excessive care" - such a problem is constantly appealed to family psychologists. Mom and Dad can not accept the fact that their child grew up. They continue to call him several times a day, to dictate with whom the person should communicate, and how he is obliged to dress. Such restrictions accumulate and give rise to large-scale conflict.

That is why parents should always remember about the age of their child, his life needs and the right to independence.

Very often, a conflict in the family arises with the appearance of a new person. The son leads his beloved into the house, which is absolutely not satisfied with the parents. The daughter is trying to build a relationship with a man, but mom and dad interfere in this process with their advice. As a result, tension builds up in the family nest.

Ways to overcome negative feelings

How to stop hating parents? In no case should we ignore such dark feelings. The first advice of psychologists concerns a personal conversation with relatives. You should sit at the negotiating table and discuss the current situation together. Why do conflicts arise? What is the reason for hatred towards parents? It will be a very difficult and long conversation, but in the end it will result in an improved family climate.

What other ways to overcome conflicts exist?

It is necessary to try to spend more time with parents, but at the same time not allow them to solve all their problems. The perfect balance between intimacy and distance will result in a healthy and harmonious relationship.
It is recommended to restrain negative impulses, as it is impossible to solve the problem with the help of shouts and aggression.
If there are sharp topics that always generate conflicts in the family, they should be avoided by all means.
Psychologists advise every time when hatred arises towards parents, to remember all the good and good things that they have done for the child over the years.

To eliminate the negative completely, it will take long work on both sides. Moreover, it is wrong to charge the resolution of the conflict only on oneself. Psychologists emphasize that both sides must solve the problem, and only then can hatred be defeated.

It is very important not to accumulate negative in oneself during long months. We need to carefully and delicately discuss the problem with mom and dad as soon as it arises. Then the risk of a sudden eruption of mutual claims will be minimal.

If family members regularly quarrel over specific topics, they simply need to be avoided. In this case, communication will begin to give pleasure, and the negative will gradually disappear.

Consequences of family hate

Often people do not even think about how much negative feelings affect their lives. Thus, an adult child who hates his own parents may come to the wrong concept of raising his own heirs. He will try to do everything in a completely different way, while limiting the communication of the child with his grandparents. As a result, the conflict will only take root, finally quarreling all family members.

Often, quarrels with the closest people turn to depression or complexes for a person. He feels inferior, and therefore can not achieve success in his personal life and in the career field.

Psychologists say that there is also a hidden hatred. The child is secretly experiencing negative due to excessive care of the older generation. However, he is too self-contained or modest to express such emotions. As a result, spiritual blackness accumulates in it and results in inappropriate actions. Such hatred can turn into open acts of violence.

Fighting such negative emotions is always necessary. Psychologists are advised not to forget that parents are still the closest people to their own child. That is why for a happy and strong relationship with them to fight to the bitter end.

Julia, Zavolzhsk