The close relations between a man and a woman are many-sided, they include a wide range of feelings and claims to each other.
And very often love, trust, understanding, and other valuable and pleasant feelings for both halves have their reverse side.
One of these manifestations is jealousy. Moderate, it can strengthen relationships, as it indicates that a person really needs his chosen one.
But what if jealousy - and especially prone to such behavior of a man - begins to prevail over the rest of the senses? How to stop being jealous of a girl, wife - when this feeling begins make negative notes in a relationship?
Where does male jealousy come from?
Not always the cause of male jealousy, especially if obsessive or even pathological, is the behavior of women.
The origins of this feeling can be hidden in the man himself:
- Low self esteem menhis insecurity. This is the most common cause of jealousy. “The complex of a loser”, the conviction of the mediocrity of their mental and external data, modest financial capabilities can lead to the fact that in the end a man makes a conclusion - his woman considers him unworthy of himself.
- Strong attachment to woman. In this case, a man can be so dependent on women, gives the importance of their relationship such a high status that it perceives the world without them destroyed, deserted. The constant fear of being left without a beloved woman leads to an exceptionally strong feeling of jealousy.
- Male egoism. With this option, the woman is perceived as a kind of property. A man seeks complete control over the behavior of his darling, and her every “unauthorized” step without a report, an explanation leads to outbursts of jealousy.
Further, there may be illusions that the men around him are better, more attractive, compare favorably with him by their data, and that a woman will simply make a more adequate choice not in his favor.
The reasons for this behavior, as psychologists believe, may lie in childhood - the difficulties for parents in expressing love for a child, in which he could feel himself to be useless.
Also to this attitude of a man to a woman can push his unfortunate experience of past relationships.
According to psychologists, this reason is the most difficult to correct because the man sees the most acceptable relationship for him, where he will feel himself as the “master” of the woman without regard for her personal claims.
Jealousy - how to fight a man with her? The main causes of male jealousy according to psychologists:
What is dangerous feeling?
Excessive, unjustified jealousy men to a woman have a negative effect on the atmosphere of trust in relationships, she can provoke unreasonable quarrels and conflicts.
However, male jealousy is dangerous not only for relationships, as such, when one of the partners does not withstand a surplus of suspicion and lack of trust and goes away - its consequences can be really scary both for the object of jealousy and for someone who is jealous.
With a man’s jealousy caused by low self-esteem, this way of thinking causes huge destructive effect. The feeling of worthlessness, lack of demand can lead up to suicidal thoughts.
With a strong attachment of a man to a woman, problems and breaks in their relationship can easily provoke a state of affect in a man.
Although the latter is a mitigating circumstance at the trial, it should be remembered that jealousy was the cause of many conflicts, ended crimes.
Male jealousy also often becomes a tool for the manipulation of women by men.
How to overcome the jealousy of his wife?
First you need to accept that jealousy becomes unwanted feeling in your relationship and, until she has acquired signs of a pathological course, you can try to cope with this feeling yourself:
Jealous of every post
It should be understood that you - your wife's only chosen one.
You can frankly ask her - what exactly prompted her to make such a choice, what caused him, what distinguishes you from other men.
Most likely, you will be surprised how big the difference is how does your wife perceive you and the rest of men.
Understand that to change with everyone, to feel sympathy for all without parsing is simply illogical.
Strive to express your emotions calmly - calmness is the key to frank and trusting communication. Think about the fact that your wife has no reason to lie to you at every step and she needs your trust much more than the rest of men.
Hateful previous
In case your wife was already married and you are jealous of her ex-husband, fear that she has feelings for him, think that divorce is a very difficult step, which are not resolved, without first considering it.
Most likely, this was a weighted decision, which necessarily had good reasons.
Ask your wife what exactly led her to such a decision. It is quite possible that there will be several reasons. Accept that she chose you, and did not return to her ex-husband.
Spends a lot of time with friends
Sometimes jealousy is directed not only at men, but also at his wife's friends.
Perhaps she seems to spend too much time with them. to the detriment of your relationship.
It should be understood that each person needs his own personal space, and his social claims do not end only with love and communication with the spouse. Let your wife feel at least relative freedom.
Understand that intentionally limiting the circle of communication is likely provokes only a negative reaction from her side. But if you normally perceive her pastime with her friends, it will cause only reciprocal gratitude from her side.
Oh, this mother-in-law!
Any woman fold special relationship with her mother. As a husband, you must understand that they were formed long before your appearance, and yet this did not prevent your wife from choosing you as their life partner.
Women are much more demanding of maternal attention - this should be taken as a fact.
Do not interfere with their communication, do not put the question in principle - "either I or your mother." Your wife loves both of you and the most important thing for her is to be able to preserve these relations most dear to her.
How to get rid of jealousy? Practice:
How to get rid of jealousy of the girl?
If you are not already married to your girlfriend, it may be additional reasonthat makes you jealous.
In this case, try to find common ground in communication, learn to understand each other, speak extremely frankly and remember - your love and sympathy for each other - this is all not as little as you thinkit is feelings that hold people together.
Suddenly she loves the former?
Be understanding of negative experiences. your sweetheart.
After all, he influenced the fact that she eventually chose you as her boyfriend.
Try to talk to her frankly. about the reasons for breaking with him. At the same time, you will learn that, in her opinion, is so critical in relationships that it can cause them to break.
If the girl is unpleasant to remember her ex-boyfriend - focus your attention on the fact that she is associated with her exactly with the negative.
The one you parted with is still mine!
If you recently broke up with your girlfriend or a relationship break happened not by mutual consentfeeling jealous of her may haunt you for some time.
This is exactly the case when you need to not only take it calmly, but also understand that this is more the norm than the pathology.
Release mentally not only your girlfriend, but yourself too. It may take time to restructure the usual way of thinking - in order to fully realize that the object of jealousy is no longer in your sphere of influence.
Try to get the most positive emotions from the people around you, look for the positive aspects in them, Enjoy your own freedom.
Jealous of everyone
If you are jealous of your girlfriend to each counter, ask the simplest question - can your girlfriend in each see her lover?
Talk to her calmly, not making scenes about what she likes about you - it will be an invaluable experience of trust communication.
Try to understand what your girlfriend is. already made a choice amidst all his surroundings, and moreover he turned out to be in your favor.
How to learn to trust?
Building trust is a very difficult task, for which effort is required from each.
If you still lack confidence, try to follow the following tips - do not avoid frank conversations, and try to accept your girlfriend in her revelations for what she is.
Do not conflict due to the mistakes that she made and which she then confessed to you - understand that the reason for such confessions is her desire to be frank with you.
Do not panic if you have a feeling of jealousy. - if you are inclined to it, temporarily hold back your emotions, if you can’t do it at all - put them on paper and, most importantly, pay attention to the result of your restraint.
Most likely, your efforts will be rewarded with a calm atmosphere and communication.
Is it worth reconsidering the relationship?
If your sense of jealousy brings discord in a relationship, if you suffer from it, your spouse or both of you - this is the situation definitely worth trying to fix review your feelings and behavior.
Do not hesitate to ask for help from your darling - right now you will need her, however, take your utmost desire to correct the situation with the utmost seriousness.
Moderate feeling of jealousy gives your partner confidence in your claims to him, but you should never overstep the bounds of the measure.
How to beat male jealousy? Tips for women:
