A child is the most valuable thing in the life of each parent. All moms and dads love their children, and this love is unconditional.
Of course, in some situations, parents may experience anger or other negative emotions in relation to their own child.
This is natural, because we are all people with our emotions, both positive and negative. However, if this situation becomes constant, you need to understand yourselfunderstand why this is happening.
This will help to take the necessary measures in time and restore good family relations. Sometimes this can be done independently, but some parents without the help of a specialist - a psychologist can not do.
Hate children in psychiatry
Hatred - one of the strongest emotions that a person may experience.
It is characterized by its negative coloration, it expresses an open and strong dislike for someone.
Hatred is characterized by such manifestations as rejection, denial, hostility. As a rule, this relationship develops gradually, and not at one moment.
For the appearance of hatred, an annoying factor is needed that violates a person’s comfort and peace over a long period of time.
Unfortunately, sometimes children become the object of hate. Baby, by virtue of his age, needs constant attention and help from parents. At the same time, he cannot always control his behavior, especially when it comes to hyperactive children.
Constant pranks, disobedience, or simply the demand of attention from parents, is a peculiar irritant, violates the comfort of mom or dad.
This leads to negative emotions, and many parents cannot hide them, letting hate openly manifest. This is especially true for impressionable, expressive people who cannot hold their own feelings in themselves.
It is important not to confuse hate for children with fatigue.
A small person is always mobile, active, but adults, after a hard day's work, want peace.
But, if the family has a small family member, enjoy peace and tranquility is unlikely to succeed.
The baby constantly requires parental attention, it requires joint games or activities. This leads to the appearance of negativity, which is associated precisely with fatigue.
The distinguishing feature of such an emotion is hers. short durationwhen the tired mother has a little rest, there will be no trace of irritation and anger on her own child.
Recently, the phenomenon of childfree (freedom from children). Young people of childbearing age deliberately refuse to give birth to children, citing the fact that the offspring will become an obstacle to a full life.
Such people do not have maternal instinct, although they are perfectly healthy psychologically. Often they reach certain heights in a career, they are erudite, self-sufficient.
Despite their negative attitude towards children, such people do not show aggression towards them, trying to just avoid contact with them.
The reasons
If negative emotions in relation to the crumbs occur on an ongoing basis, need to figure out find out the reasons which led to this situation.
Why annoying little baby?
When a newborn appears in the family lifestyle changesbecause the baby needs a large amount of parental attention and care, sometimes the parents devote all their time to the crumbs.
It turns around chronic fatigue, stress. The main cause of irritability towards a new family member is postpartum depression, a condition that is common to many young mothers.
During this period, a woman is often in a bad mood, she is annoyed not only by her own child, but by everyone around her.
Other causes of irritability are:
- Lack of proper sleep, violation of the regime, when the mother has to wake up several times at night to feed the baby.
- Frequent crying crumbs (for example, when he has something to hurt, or he simply requires maternal attention).
- Lack of free time, which the woman used to devote to her hobbies.
- Possible problems in the family, tensions with her husband.
- Lack of social life (young mothers rarely meet with girlfriends, visit public places).
If we are talking about children of the first year of life, who gradually master the skill of movement, parents become irritated increased activity young researcher, the need to keep track of him all the time, without any distractions.
In this case, the woman should still be engaged in household chores. This leads to chronic fatigue, bad mooddevelopment of irritability.
Why enrage other people's children?
Most often, the object of irritation is not your own, but someone else’s child. There are a number of reasons for this:
- Alien baby violates peace.
If you can cope with your own fidget, shout at him, explain the rules of behavior, then it will not work with someone else's child.
- Other people's children have their own upbringing (or its absence), which may differ from the usual for us.
- Dislike the habits of another child. Each person is individual, his behavior and habits are formed, based on numerous circumstances (living conditions, rules adopted in a particular family). But not every adult person is able to understand and accept this.
- Alien prankster spoils your property. Of course, this behavior is unacceptable, but because the kid, due to his age, cannot yet be aware of his mistakes.
- Another child offends or badly affects our children.. In this case, an adult forms a negative attitude towards the offender, however, it is better not to show your own emotions, but simply to talk with your crumb, to explain to him why you should not communicate with the aggressor.
How to deal with the problem?
First of all, you need to accept the problem, realize that it really exists. After that, it is necessary to find out the cause of such an emotional state.
Often hate for children develops as a result of health problems. It is necessary to undergo a comprehensive examination (consult with a psychologist, a neurologist, to be tested for hormone levels).
After that it is necessary build friendships with baby. In the early stages, you may have to force yourself to communicate with him. You need to pay attention to the baby, for a start, just come up and hug the baby to kiss.
Of course, at first it will be difficult, but then, as you get used to it, the situation will no longer seem so hopeless.
You will understand that to communicate with your own child - pleasant occupation.
Perhaps hatred arose like consequence of their own grievances against their parents, lack of love and parental warmth in childhood.
In this case, it is necessary to recall and relive this situation, and after that mentally forgive your parents.
Forgiveness in this case will bring emotional calm and relief, and communication with your own baby will become easier and more enjoyable.
I hate my son: what to do?
Why annoying own child? There are a lot of reasons for the appearance of negative emotions to one’s own child, and each age has its own factors.
So, if we are talking about children of the first year of life, irritation develops as a result of increased activity of children who disturb the peace of parents, take away all their free time.
Children of school age may experience certain performance problems in school.
Every parent wants to be proud of the success of their offspring, and if he does not meet expectations, this can also provoke hostility.
When it comes to adolescents, factors such as disrespect for parents and non-compliance with their requirements often become causes of hatred.
In some cases it is antisocial or criminal behavior (theft, fights, alcohol or drug use).
The patience of the parents is not unlimited, and the unacceptable behavior of a teenager leads to a loss of trust, negative formation from parents.
Recommendations of psychologists
If your own child is annoying, in no case can you deny the existence of the problem. It is necessary to accept this situation.
It is important to tell yourself that this is your most dear person, and you want to love him and receive love in return.
Try to communicate as much as possible, not forgetting devote time and own hobbies.
You can not devote all your time to the crumbs, it will only aggravate the situation, lead to chronic fatigue and even more hostility. Be sure to set aside time to chat with friends, visit any events, or just to relax.
It is natural for a newborn to cry. With the help of crying, he expresses his state (after all, he still does not know how to do it differently). Many parents are annoyed by the constant crying.
The only way out in this situation is have patience and try to calm the baby. He may be hungry or in pain. Or simply requires maternal attention.
There is a situation where after the appearance of a newborn in the family, older children begin to cause hostility.
Most often, this happens for a reason. behavior change older child.
After all, he thinks that after the appearance of the youngest, his parents will start to love him less, and with his bad behavior he tries to attract the attention of his mother.
In this case, you need to talk to the child, explain to him that the birth of a brother or sister will not affect the attitude towards himIt’s just that the baby needs more parental attention, because he still doesn’t know how to take care of himself.
At the same time, it is important to devote at least an insignificant amount of time per day only to the elder one, conduct joint classes, play games, watch your favorite films.
Hate children - destructive feelingwhich can bring serious discord to the family. Therefore, it is necessary to fight it. You can cope with the situation, for this you need:
- accept the problem;
- voice the desire to cope with the situation;
- consult specialists, follow their recommendations;
- communicate with the baby, spend time with him;
- relax, engage in their own hobbies.
How to overcome irritation to the children of a husband or wife?
It is not easy to take someone else's child, however, situations arise when it is necessary.
Often the child of the spouse from the first marriage causes only unpleasant emotions. Especially if he is with you constantly.
Reasons hate can be the following factors:
- jealousy of the former second half of your husband or wife;
- disobedience to someone else's baby;
- behavior disorders.
For a child, this situation is also stressful, because in his family a new person appears, to which he must get used. But he does not want this. As a result, a protest is formed.
What to do in this situation? First of all, give your baby time to get used to you. Thereafter try to build with him if not friendly, then at least acceptable and mutually beneficial relationship.
Over time, he realizes the situation, realizes that peace and tranquility in his new family is much better than constant quarrels and reproaches.
Try to communicate with the baby, give him unobtrusive advice, help deal with his problems. Then baby will begin to trust you, treat more friendly, and you will answer him the same.
Dealing with hate is not always easy, especially if this negative emotion arises in relation to loved ones. But still, the problem must be solved.
With the appearance of a negative to your own crumbs, it is important to realize the problem, make every effort to get rid of destructive feelings. Need to tune in a positive way, accept it for what it is, with all its flaws.
And only after that you can build a warm relationship with him, get rid of irritability and anger. This will bring relief not only to your baby, but also to you personally.
Why do you annoy your own child? Opinion psychologist:
