How often can you hear from a person the words "I can no longer change." Indeed, it becomes more difficult to make changes in your life with age, but this does not mean that it is impossible to do this. To understand how to change a character, it’s enough to realize exactly what features you want to have, make a plan and move towards its execution.
What makes character?
The expression "all in the father" or "you have a grandmother's temper" really make sense, but only the genetic tab is only 7%, and the remaining 93% fall on acquired features. A special influence on the character have:
- Upbringing. Parents not only lay genetic material in the child, but also raise personality in it. They do this consciously and unconsciously. They talk about good and evil, about the norms of behavior, etiquette. If a girl from childhood has been told that she is strong and independent, in adulthood she may have problems with the manifestation of softness and femininity. A boy who is overseen by his mother, grandmother, aunt can grow up a mama son. An overabundance of praise leads to a constant search for approval, and its lack leads to an inferiority complex.
- Place of residence. The character of the provincial will be very different from the character of a person who grew up in the capital. It is impossible to level the difference of cultures. For example, in the East, the bias goes to the family and spiritual values. The West is more pragmatic, there is more attention paid to building a career.
- Interests. They change throughout life. Interests can be both an indicator of character and a means of its correction. For example, a person who likes to collect models of cars, probably pedantic, diligent, scrupulous. On the other hand, if a person lacks these qualities, you need to develop the ability to calm down, keep yourself in hand, and concentrate just to get a similar hobby.
- Circle of friends. As parents influence their behavior and attitude on the child, so friends, colleagues, acquaintances can influence a person. He finds an example to follow, can become dependent on someone's opinion, borrow someone else's hobbies or copy traits.
3 features you need to get rid of to change the character
Before you change your character, you need to understand whether there is an internal resource. There are factors that prevent change, they need to be eradicated.
- Laziness. "I'll start losing weight tomorrow," "sign up for courses on Monday," "I'll move next winter," "I'll quit in January." Planning is great, but you need to make sure that putting things on the back burner is connected with the fact that it is more convenient, better, and not simply lazy. To do this, it’s enough to ask yourself what can be done to achieve a specific goal right now. For example, I want to develop a discipline. So, we should plan tomorrow's, and maybe today, to do everything on the list. Do not postpone the alarm clock, because too lazy to get up for a run at 8 am, and force yourself to get out of bed.
- Low self-esteem. You need to be able to admit to yourself in love. This is the first rule to change. If a person does not love himself, he will not be able to change his character. The internal state depends on the external, and it is much easier to change it. Start with a simple, change appearance - cut, repaint, change the image, so that you feel more beautiful more confident. Update wardrobe, get a gadget, an accessory that will allow you to feel more significant (at this stage it is normal). As soon as self-confidence appears, the inner voice will gain more weight, making changes with faith in your strength will be easier.
- Negative thinking. It is in some way connected with low self-esteem. It is difficult for a person who is unsure of himself to believe that changes can occur in his character. It is necessary to throw out the phrase "I can not", "I will not succeed." A good example would be a movie with Jim Carrey "Always say yes."
How to change a character
Is it possible to change the character? Can! It takes time and work on yourself. We'll have to do 5 steps.
Step 1 - Analysis
It is necessary to take a sheet of paper, and it is better to start a diary for this. Split the page in half. On the one hand, you need to write the qualities that you want to fix in yourself, on the other - how to achieve this. For example, to develop interpersonal skills you need to communicate more with people in order to become bolder — learn to look your fears in the eyes. Once the list is ready, you need to turn it into a plan, what will be done and when.
Step 2 - Side View
It will be very helpful to find someone with similar negative traits. This will help to better understand the problem, to consider it. So it will be clearly seen from what you need to urgently get rid of.
Step 3 - Role Model
Realizing how to do it is not necessary, you should find the person you want to be like. This may be a friend, colleague or even a celebrity. The image can be a collective one: the elegance of Princess Diana, the kindness of Mother Teresa, a sense of humor by Melissa McCartney. We must try to copy their behavior, adopting character traits.
Step 4 - Control
Making a plan is only half the battle, you need to make sure that it will be executed. Self-control is the quality, without which it will be difficult to change the rest. It is important to think before you speak, get rid of laziness, control emotions.
To develop a new habit takes 21 days. You can use the method with a rubber band on your arm. As soon as you notice that a negative trait appears, slam yourself with a rubber band. If this is repeated 4 times, the elastic is put on the other hand and the countdown of 21 days begins anew.
Step 5 - Good Deeds
Good attitude and help others give pleasure, help to feel good, to feel more significant. It doesn’t matter what kind of matters are involved, it could be something simple. For starters, you can make a habit of collecting 10 "thanks" per day. Every time a person will thank you for something, send a word of thanks to your mental piggy bank.
Before you change the character, you need to think about what kind of person you want to become and how it will change your life. The more powerful the visualization, the stronger the motivation and desire to change.
