Love and relationship

How to get rid of love addiction yourself?

Love is a wonderful feeling that changes the world and a person for the better.

But sometimes this feeling becomes addicted to its lover, an obsession, which prevents live not only to the lover himself, but also to the people around him.

In this case, you need to realize the problem and think about how to get rid of love addiction.

Concept

What is love addiction? Love addiction - strong passion for man obsession with them.

In this case, the lover himself often loses some of the features of his individuality, fully adjusting to his partner.

Such a person is able to think and speak only about the subject of his passion.

Such an obsession is not love. This is another kind of codependency. like the abuse of smoking, drugs, alcohol.

Love or dependence? Relationship psychology:

Addiction psychology

In psychology, this dependence is called love addiction (obsessive need for a certain activity) - a painful expression of the object's love for another person.

Often, people with low self-esteem, with a wrong perception of themselves, those who have been subjected to psychological violence in childhood or have lost their parents early, come under such dependence.

Patients do not notice personal boundaries and often overstep beyond the limit.

For love addiction is characterized by a painful addiction to the object of the senses. At the same time, the person himself feels constant anxiety and nervousness even being close to his beloved.

This distinguishes dependence on real feelings.

Often love addiction becoming a mania obsession, develops even in a seemingly healthy person a maniac pursuer.

Signs of

The main sign of such dependence is constant feeling of heartache and anxietyeven when the lover is near.

A person is haunted by the fear that he may lose the love and attention of his second half. In separation, his thoughts revolve around the object of his passion, and his thoughts become obsessive.

An addicted person sacrifices his interests and desires in favor of his beloved. Because of his low self-esteem and fear of losing love, he is ready to do anything to save the relationship.

Other signs of love obsession:

  • necessity is always with your beloved;
  • confidence that happiness is impossible if the partner does not constantly pay attention to him, give care and love;
  • complete dissolution in another person, loss of self;
  • frequent conflicts and quarrels, the threat of parting, which never comes to life;
  • physical separation of a partner or his indifference causes pain, fear, anxiety and despondency;
  • constant feeling of dissatisfaction;
  • the lack of a realistic assessment of your partner - a person sees everything in pink;
  • passionate desire to have a partner (in all senses). Moreover, the emphasis is on the intimate sphere;
  • strong jealousy of friends, relatives, colleagues of the beloved, unwillingness to share it with someone. The rest of the people communicating with him are perceived as enemies;
  • loss of interest in other areas of life and friends, relatives, focusing only on the object of your passion;
  • the inability to complete the relationship itself or to influence their development.

Dependence is often confused with love, however these two concepts are very different:

  • loving people are good together, but not bad and apart, dependent people can not live a minute without their partner;
  • love brings only pleasant emotions - happiness, confidence, tranquility, inspiration. When a person is possessed, anxious emotions are fear, despondency, anxiety;
  • love gives a person freedom, and dependence leaves a feeling of inner tension;
  • in love relationships, both partners are equal, and dependent relationships are built on domination and submission;
  • love improves life, and addiction destroys it;
  • a man in love is full of strength and inspiration, he is able to create and transform life. An addicted person forgets about himself and his interests.

Love addiction - diagnosis, unlike love and in love. Practical tips:

Disposal techniques

Love addiction - not a new problemwhich has been repeatedly studied.

To get rid of dependence on your lover, a lot of techniques and trainings have been developed:

  1. Lope de Vega method. He is in search of the shortcomings of his beloved. Even if it seems perfect, then it is possible to turn merits into flaws. Beloved watching themselves and never leave the house without a haircut? Yes, she is just a poseur! Beloved beautiful? He is simply a narcissist! Maybe this method is a little cynical and not fair in relation to the object of passion, but it is very effective.
  2. Pasteur's method. The best way to overcome addicted love is to get carried away by someone else. If you feel an attachment to this person, you need to immediately switch to another and so on. Thus, a "cure" for love is developed.
  3. Method of de-romanticization. This method is to get rid of the "pink" glasses, rainbow perception of the world in general and love in particular. For this purpose, real stories of unsuccessful relationships, conversations with women and men-haters are suitable.

    Well eliminates the romanticization of the relationship hard physical labor.

  4. Freud's method. Old Sigmund recommends sublimation. This is a redirection of sexual energy, aggression to more peaceful activities - art, culture, charity. In the case of love addiction, it is better to be creative or go as a volunteer to some organization.
  5. Logical approach. There is no place for logic in love, but if you add it, you just need to turn it on. You need to approach your partner as objectively as possible - whether he is suitable, whether you have a future, how similar you are, and so on. It is useful to make a list of drawbacks and merits and draw conclusions from their analysis.

How to get out of love addiction? Simple and trouble free technology:

Psychologist tips

Men and women in varying degrees suffer from love addiction. It manifests itself in people regardless of gender, age and social status. But how to combat this disease men and women differ.

Psychologists argue that the most important thing is to realize your dependence and take steps to get rid of it.

How to overcome love addiction? Ways to get rid of love addiction to a man:

  • not to idealize a man, but to perceive him as a person - just like everyone else;
  • take the time for yourself to be loved - to keep track of your fitness, sign up for self-development or language learning courses, to start a hobby;
  • switch your attention to another object - it may be a new lover or a kitten / puppy, picked up on the street. The main thing is to care about anyone besides the object of passion;
  • to meditate and imagine how everything connected with a man (all his things, actions, thoughts about him) sink or burn. Surprisingly, this small visualization session really helps;
  • do something nice just for yourself - make a haircut, buy a new handbag, eat a whole ton of chocolate.

Ways to get rid of love addiction to a woman:

  • to go headlong into work, to occupy your head as hard as possible so that there is neither the time nor the strength to think about the beloved;
  • do physical work or sports - tiredness helps to get rid of unnecessary actions;
  • realize that she is not the only attractive woman in the world. There are other equally beautiful and intelligent women;
  • to make a written agreement with oneself not to devote more time and attention to the beloved than it should.

    Print and hang in a prominent place - if temptation appears this paper can stop you from reckless actions.

How to cope with love addiction? Psychologist tips:

How to get rid of yourself?

How to cure love addiction yourself? Love addiction does not appear just like that. Often the reason lies in the distant past - in relationships with parents, in children's experiences, in adolescent complexes, in the first youthful love.

It is very important to identify this cause and get rid of it.

For this you need to delve into yourself - it will not be easy, but it needs to be done to finally free to breathe.

Often people who are in co-dependent relationships are offended by their parents. Because of this resentment, they cannot build a wholesome relationship and truly mature.

After analyzing your past and identify the causes of their behavior A dependent person must learn to express his feelings without constraint and fear of condemnation.

This is one of the most difficult stages of treatment - not to blame yourself for your feelings, not to feel guilty for your happiness. Only until he fully realized his feelings and showing them without shame does a person become free.

Practical steps:

  1. Breathing exercises - can be taken from the teachings of yoga or other practices.
  2. Meditation "Beast" - you need to choose a beast totem and mentally imagine it in moments of uncertainty or fear. You can show imagination and represent your totem in different situations.
  3. Healthy way - as they say, in a healthy body - a healthy mind. Refusal from alcohol and nicotine has a beneficial effect not only on physical health, but also on psychological one.
  4. Production self-confidence - for this will be useful various trainings and self-hypnosis. For example, every day you can talk with a mirror for a couple of minutes and convince him of your attractiveness, intelligence and success.
  5. Elimination of egoism - you need to realize that the other person has the right to do whatever he wants. For example, not to love you and not to be with you. Making someone love yourself is childish egoism.
  6. List of your strengths - compile a list of their strengths, which can overshadow possible shortcomings.

All people strive to love and be loved. But love addiction is painful obsessionand not a real feeling. Fortunately, there are ways to get rid of this depressing feeling.

How to get rid of love addiction? Practical recommendations:

Watch the video: How to Heal Love Addiction - Healing Attachment Wounds (December 2024).