Personal growth

Self Talk - Effective Self Help

It’s quite normal to talk with yourself if it happens in the format of an internal dialogue. From a psychological point of view, it is more useful to talk out loud. This contributes to better coordination of actions, relieves stress and emotional tension. The inner voice, the subconscious, the intuition - the names of the inner self are many. This is the part that helps to plan the day, throws ideas on how to spend the weekend, calms in difficult moments and knows what is best for the person. Because it is very important to listen to her.

Scientific approach

Scientists estimate that talking with oneself takes 70% of the time in a person’s life. This applies to both internal monologues and those spoken aloud. Most often, the inner voice breaks out while solving some non-standard tasks or searching for objects. Scientists have concluded that such conversations are useful, and to test their hypothesis, they conducted an experiment.

The subjects were divided into two groups, each of which needed to find a certain thing. In the first group, searches should be carried out in silence, and in the second all thoughts should have been voiced. The result was interesting. People from the second group coped with the task much faster. The experiment proved that talking to oneself helps to better assimilate and process information, speeding up brain activity.

Why talk to yourself out loud?

There are several reasons why you should start talking to yourself out loud:

  • Memory stimulation. In the process of talking with a sensory memory awakens. Speaking the word out loud, you visualize it, because it is remembered better.
  • Conservation of concentration. Works great during the search for some item. For example, you need to find the keys before leaving the house, if you pronounce this word out loud, then the brain will concentrate only on this task, removing all the others from the priority. The subject will be faster.
  • Stress relief. Everyone knows the state when thoughts in my head are buzzing with a swarm. It seems that all the problems of the world at the same time fell on his shoulders and there is no idea how to solve them. To relieve stress, you need to be sure to say what bothers you. And for this it is not necessary to look for an outside listener.
  • Preparing for an important conversation. When a person is going to talk about something important, he carefully selects words. It is very useful to hear your speech out loud, it will help to remove too much, to hear how it sounds from the outside.

How and what to talk to yourself?

There are no special rules for how to talk to yourself. If we are talking about solving an internal problem, then it is better to be alone with yourself. If you need to make a cake and the person recites his recipe out loud, then being in the room of other people will not interfere with it.

If talking to yourself is an attempt to deal with your life, then the topics may be as follows:

  • self-esteem;
  • relations;
  • Job;
  • future;
  • loneliness and its causes;
  • conflicts with others;
  • fulfillment of desires;
  • anxiety and fears, etc.

All that worries a person, he can speak out loud.

5 reasons to talk to yourself

1. Freedom from fear, anxiety and panic

In films, one can often see when a person has to cross a shaky bridge located at high altitude, he says to himself: “The main thing is not to look down.” This is an excellent example of how a conversation with yourself in stressful situations. If a person is afraid of something, he finds a solution to how to get rid of fear or reduce his pressure and pronounces him out loud. At the same time, the spoken and heard advice works better.

At the time of the panic, psychologists advise you to count to 10, this can also be done out loud to switch the concentration to your voice. There will also be an effective conversation in question-answer format. You should ask yourself to explain what exactly scares and why, what happens if it happens, what is the probability of this.

2. Farewell to past relationships

After parting, sometimes there is a feeling that there is still something to be corrected in the relationship. It seems that we need another last conversation that will change a lot. Before you once again write to your former partner and find out already finished relationships, it is better to say out loud what I want to say to him. Speaking out arguments, you should try to be impartial and evaluate them from the outside. Are they "iron", as they seem in my head.

To survive the loss, you can speak out loud that gave this relationship, remind why they ended. You should also say that they have exhausted themselves and have no further continuation. Be sure to remind yourself that there will be other relationships ahead in which previous experience is useful.

3. Planning and motivation

When there is a lot of things to do and you need to plan them properly, it’s enough to write them down and speak out loud. So you can understand which of them are really important and require speedy implementation, and which ones can be postponed.

It is also important to pronounce your desires. By saying them out loud, a person makes them more real. You can talk to yourself about what to do for their performance. Before a serious event, you should support yourself by giving a motivational speech.

4. Work on self-esteem

One of the methods of increasing self-esteem is pronouncing affirmations. They are recommended to be pronounced out loud. This is also a type of conversation with oneself, since a person convinces himself that he possesses certain qualities.

You can periodically praise yourself. For example, start the morning with a conversation with a reflection in the mirror. It should smile and say, something in the style of "I am the most charming and attractive" or "today will bring me a lot of positive emotions."

5. Spilling grudges

Keeping a grudge in oneself is harmful, but it’s not always possible to express discontent in a calm manner. Therefore, psychologists recommend sometimes writing letters to offenders, but not sending them. And then you can write a letter to yourself. So a person can just throw a grudge on the paper. Speaking of insults works even better. Moreover, this can be done both by addressing the abuser and by explaining to oneself what exactly caused the feeling of resentment.

Talking with yourself is not a deviation from the norm and does not indicate mental disorders. His goal is to learn to be in harmony with the inner self. The ability to listen to oneself is extremely important. And to hear something, you need to start talking.

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