Such a rarity now is to meet a person who is restrained and pacified. Everyone understands that such an attitude to life helps, but how can one become calm and balanced when one minute something happens that sooner or later makes one angry?
Previously, psychologists have argued that for human health it is better to throw out emotions, including aggression. However, recent studies have shown that it is the ability to control one's feelings and their manifestations that truly contribute to psychological and physical health.
What can be done
There is one simple idea that is difficult to accept until the end: a lot depends on the mood. You can often hear the opinion that a positive situation does not change, but this is not quite the case. Under the positive attitude refers to the ability to assess the situation with her best. For example, if the boss pointed out errors in the report, someone might think: “He always finds fault with me!” If we develop this thought, the mood will fall along with the desire to work, but the irritation will increase, and it will definitely manifest itself in the act, o which later will have to regret.
If we treat the remark simply as a fact: “There are a couple of mistakes, the rest is correct. I will keep this in mind. ”It is easier to work, the mood does not fall, and there are no further destructive consequences. And if you look at the situation from the head, it becomes clear which of the employees will be more valuable to him.
Modesty is the ability to recognize the limits of their capabilities. It is this quality that influences balance in many ways. When a person knows that he can do it, he does not undertake what he will find difficult to cope with, and vice versa, he does not avoid what he can do.
If you take on impossible tasks, stress arises due to lack of effort, time and other resources. Then all plans can collapse, even those for which the strength might be enough. For example, if you plan things so that there is not a single free minute in the schedule, the stress will catch up sooner or later. Fatigue will appear, or some sudden circumstances will prevent the execution of plans and make you nervous.
This also includes the ability to divide problems into one's own and other people's affairs, and not to interfere in the lives of others. Often you can meet nerve parents who are trying to help an adult child to fix their lives, and they fail. No wonder: it is no longer their jurisdiction, it is possible that their child of 30-40 years sees his life in a completely different way.
Sometimes certain diplomatic skills are required to tell others that their problems belong exclusively to them. But it's worth it.
Another opportunity to find peace is to learn to distinguish between real and imaginary problems. Without losing sight of sound forethought, you need to learn how to solve problems as they arrive. As a rule, it is impossible to predict everything and decide in advance, let alone change what has already happened.
If you exclude from the experience of life that could be done in the past or future, the reason to worry will be two times less.
When something happens, the first question that arises in thoughts is “why?”. Sometimes this question is worth asking yourself. For example, if a life partner, a friend or a boss is angry and may be screaming, making unfounded accusations, you should try to understand the reason. Maybe he didn’t get enough sleep, or something happened to him. This will help not to take everything at once into your account and to treat the situation in a balanced way.
It is human nature to adopt from those around them manners and habits, even if he does not like them. Therefore, close communication with quick-tempered and unbalanced people can negate the opportunity to gain external and internal composure. And vice versa - friendship with a calm and peaceful person will help to find a similar outlook on life.
In addition to the attitude and attitude to life, we must not forget that our perception of the world is an infinite number of chemical reactions. If there is a deficiency or an excess of certain hormones in the body, a person may not physically succeed in not reacting to trifles. Therefore, sometimes, if with all the efforts made it is impossible to maintain self-control, it is worth checking your health.
Magnesium deficiency and some vitamins can lead to increased nervousness.
Extremes
In an effort to get rid of excess stress, someone can overdo it, and isolate themselves from the world to the maximum. This is not an option: sooner or later you will have to face face-to-face with everyday life.
The same applies to the division of problems into others and our own: in deciding whether or not to help, you need to sensibly weigh up your own capabilities and strengths. Those who help others as far as possible experience a special sense of satisfaction.
It is impossible to become calm and balanced in one day. It can take time and conscious effort to learn how to properly treat problems, calculate your strength and make a schedule. But the feeling of peace, control over their lives and well-being is worth the effort.
