Above the gray sky
I will try to find it
Yes, I will try
As a child, when I watched a movie with my parents, the plot of Hollywood films did not seem predictable to me. And I asked: "and the main character will die?" or "everything will be fine, and will they marry?" To which my mom or dad answered me: "This is an American film, and they always end well!"
Indeed, in such films, the events usually ended with a happy ending or a happy ending. But when a person grows up, he realizes that everything in life is not at all like in a movie: there is suffering in it that is not paid for by pleasure, injustice and arbitrariness, which do not find any legal retribution. People come to the conclusion that in the real world, in contrast to Hollywood dreams, everything does not always end with a happy ending.
But personally I do not agree! I believe that there is always a happy ending for everyone, and this understanding helps me a lot in life. Of course, it is very difficult to believe in it, considering how much hunger, death, disease exist in this world. But I'm not talking about a happy ending in the spirit of an American film. And not about some higher justice, which will reward all people according to their merits from their last trait.
I want to talk about the spiritual "happy ending". What do I mean?
Source of suffering
When I am in a sense of a hopeless situation, incessant excitement, the Happy End rule helps me. This rule is that all problems, doubts, sufferings, whatever they may be, can come to their resolution, even if the plot of life is twisted so that we don’t see this end yet.
What does it mean? Let's try to figure it out. What defines an unhappy end? It is suffering and unhappiness. And I came to the conclusion that any suffering, firstly, is meaningless (there is no point in suffering), secondly, stupidly (suffering will not lead to anything), thirdly, reversibly (you can get rid of suffering). Now, probably, most people believe exactly the opposite. They think that suffering is necessary, and you cannot get rid of it. Moreover, it seems to them that they "must" suffer, as if there is some higher prescription in this.
“I suffer because my relatives do not like me or I will never have a good job. Because I am poor. Because I’m not sure of myself. Because I live in a bad country. And I don’t have any way out.”
People see the cause of suffering in some life circumstances or in personality traits that cannot be changed, and therefore they do not see a happy ending.
I know that the source of all suffering is the human mind, which has desires, interprets reality, endows things with a qualitative assessment, builds thoughts about the future, compares the past with the present or the present with the expected future. And I know that outside of this mind there is no suffering, there is only reality, such as it is, not burdened with the notions of "good and bad", staying in constant becoming and harmony. And this harmony is definitely achievable for everyone! We cannot always influence external circumstances, but we can always influence our mind and get rid of suffering. For any suffering in this world, a solution is always possible. This is my happy ending!
Sun behind the clouds
What I wrote above is a kind of “marginal” philosophy, “wisdom in a vacuum,” which, at first glance, is very difficult to grasp and apply in life. But this wisdom can be translated into the language of everyday life.
It happens that I experience difficult times, get upset about something, feel fear and despondency. I worry about not doing work as quickly as I would like to do it. Or due to the fact that my goals are not implemented. In general, I, like every person, am upset because of life problems, unfulfilled hopes, deceived expectations. At such moments, life seems to elude me, anxiety that grips me seems incessant and boundless.
And then I remember that the Sun always hides behind gray clouds, even if we do not see it. And in the light of this Sun all sufferings and anxieties turn into decay. This stream of light erases from them the whole touch of importance and significance. In this light, all that worries us, no longer has any meaning, loses all meaning.
Even if I do not see this light and am inside the alarm, I understand that there is light. And sooner or later everything that worries me will be resolved. I will definitely come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no sense in getting upset because of any life problems, because of difficult situations at work, because I did not get what I wanted.
What is the point of worrying about work? What does this lead to, does it help me? Why do I think that if I turn around in bed without sleeping, then I will perform some task? My worries won't help me do my work faster. And the fact is that work will be done as fast as it will be done, no more, no less! You need to relax, just join this stream: do not expect, do not criticize, do not compare, do not think about the past and the future, but just do what you need to do!
What is the point of worrying about the missed opportunities, that was, that was, you will not return the past! Why suffer because of misfortune, grief, unhappiness? What for? There is no point in any suffering, it is absurd. In the limit of the spiritual and moral development of man, it disappears!
Even if I am far from this understanding at some point in time, I am consumed with worries and anxiety, I understand that in the highest absolute, in the deepest depth, there is no suffering. This is just a ripple on the water. And even if I am experiencing pain now, I know it’s just swaying on this moving water. But I know that there is a depth in which there is no excitement, but only infinite calmness and silence that is not disturbed by anything.
Many people are also constantly swaying in this ripple, but they absolutely do not understand that there is some depth besides it! And they do not see the sun behind the clouds! It seems to them that all this excitement and cloudy weather is life, this is the highest limit! It seems to them that the clouds are the ceiling, and the surface of the water is the floor, above and below which there is nothing. But, in fact, there is still a whole universe, it is enough to see it once. And if this happens, we will realize that we can always get there, beyond the limits of our mind, which is responsible for all the suffering in the world!
First and last freedom
Soul releases accumulated fear
I hear footsteps - doors open
And death disappears before our eyes.
Osho called meditation first and last freedom. I have never read a single book by Osho, but I really like the wording "Last Freedom." Perhaps his last freedom is my happy ending. Why is this freedom last? Because above it there is no more “free” freedom, and all that is below it is relative freedom.
What do I want to say with this? Let's try to think about how the human desire for freedom manifests itself. After all, this word is very often used: "freedom, freedom, everyone wants freedom." We all want to be free, what do we mean by that? Many people strive for a variety of things that, in their opinion, will make them free: money, power, relationships, public relations. For example, if a person has a lot of money, then he can travel without obstacles, break the law, go unpunished. We used to think that he is free.
In fact, this freedom is only relative. Freedom of any person is violated by old age, the death of relatives, the approach of his own death, diseases, anxieties and misfortunes. With every happiest person, grief can happen, which will break him forever, turn yesterday's gaiety and vitality into a hopeless darkness. Therefore, such a person is still not free, his spiritual comfort is still dependent on many things. He is still vulnerable to suffering.
But meditation takes a person beyond the limits of his mind, to a place where there is no suffering. Where a person does not depend on almost anything: whether it is an event in life, desire or emotion. This is almost absolute freedom. A person even ceases to depend on his Self. Although still depends on meditation. But this is his only “attachment” instead of a thousand “attachments”.
Of course, what I am talking about is the limit to which there are still many "degrees of freedom" in which people are not willing to devote their lives only to the search for enlightenment or nirvana and devote only part of this life to meditation. These people include myself and me. Meditation freed me from many things that previously limited my existence: these are my uncontrollable passions, impulsive desires, destroying dependencies ...
But I do not want complete and absolute freedom and I don’t want to go there. But I know what it is. And no matter what happens in my life, no matter what misfortune or grief, no matter how terrible disappointment befell me, I know that my last freedom, my happy end, will always be available to me. I am filled with a sense of reliability and a happy ending with the thought that, if there is my desire, I can always go to a place where no suffering makes sense. Despite the fact that while I'm here.
And, what warms me the most, is my belief that truth awaits me there, things will appear as they are, devoid of interpretations and human judgments. I believe that this is not just a subjective state, a personal experience, but a fusion with the true nature of things. And for this truth, any human suffering is an illusion, games of a restless mind, ripples on water.
And no matter how deeply sometimes I was sucked into the mating of the quagmire of this illusion, I will always know that somewhere there is a bright Sun shining above the clouds, in the fire of which suffering and fear, anxiety and anxiety will surely burn
