Survive the betrayal of a loved one is very difficult. Many couples face this unpleasant phenomenon. Some of them are hardened, others break up immediately. Treason carries a lot of negative emotions for a person who has changed: pain, resentment, shock, powerlessness, a sense of humiliation and betrayal. After the state of shock, there comes a time when everyone who is confronted with this must determine for themselves what to do next and whether it is possible to forgive the partner’s betrayal.
Reasons for treason
The first thing that comes to mind is why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong?
The reasons why people decide to communicate with another partner may be several:
- New love. Sincere enthusiasm for another person, many easily pushes for treason;
- Old love Outbreaks of past feelings can cause a romance;
- Misunderstanding, disrespect, quarrels, conflicts in the family can make you look for positive emotions on the side;
-
Sexual dissatisfaction. In general or in connection with circumstances (for example, pregnancy of the wife) quite often leads to changes; - Routine, everyday life, lack of attention and thirst for new sensations in pairs with experience;
- Fear of serious relationships in couples who have not yet legitimized their relationship;
- Self-doubt is often an internal cause of sexual intercourse with different partners;
- Random connections;
- Revenge altered or cooled partner.
Sexual dissatisfaction. In general or in connection with circumstances (for example, pregnancy of the wife) quite often leads to changes;Treason male and female
There is an opinion that the betrayal of a man is often associated simply with physical discharge. From the second half of this he will not love less. But women's treason - is treason "soul." They say that a woman deliberately takes this treacherous step and sincerely feels feelings towards the one with whom she is changing. In my opinion, this is a philosophical question. Many men are determined to be categorical in this matter and are ready to immediately remove the woman who has betrayed them from her life. Women, on the contrary, are more flexible and are often ready to forgive in order to save their family.
How to respond?
Screams, hysterics, blackmail, scandals and threats, and even more revenge - not the best way out of this situation. All these actions will not bring proper peace of mind and certainly will not solve the problem.
Faced with the phenomenon of treason, give yourself time to think. Do not rush to talk immediately about divorce or forgiveness. Having paused in relationships, analyze the whole situation, put yourself in the place of a partner, let your negative emotions out, contact a psychologist if necessary.
Who is guilty?
To forgive or not treason is certainly the choice of everyone. People tend to blame their partner for lies, dishonesty, betrayal, without thinking about what they themselves did wrong. Or blame only themselves for what happened. But it should be understood that in the campaign on the side, as a rule, both are to blame. Treason does not happen "suddenly". Ask yourself, what could a partner miss in your relationship? Often treason is a crisis in relationships. This is a cry for something to change. Treason is often a turning point in the life of a couple, followed by an analysis of the problems and their elimination with the right approach and, if there are mutual feelings.
Execute or pardon?
Forgive your loved one and yourself. Allow yourself not to keep within the insult and pain that will destroy you day after day. When you forgive, negative emotions will no longer poison your life.
If you do not find the strength to continue with this person, do not force yourself. But even in this case, you need to forgive him and let him go. If you and your partner love each other and want to preserve the relationship, then you should talk heart to heart, discuss the reasons together and correct further behavior.
It is always easier to destroy than to save and increase. The most important thing is not to blame your loved one every time, but to maintain trust and respect, change yourself for the better, bring novelty to relationships. If treason is perceived as a delusion and mistake of a loved one, we can talk about forgiveness. But if we see only betrayal and insult in this, there is practically no chance.
What do psychologists say?
When answering this difficult question - whether to forgive or not, psychologists are advised to listen to yourself and try to look at the situation from the outside. To forgive or not treason is a personal matter. There are no universal tips, everything is purely individual. Everyone will have to give themselves the answer. The main thing is to act in accordance with their feelings and feelings, and not to the detriment of themselves.
You can forgive, if the partner really repented of his deed, values relationships and vowed not to repeat such an error. If betrayals have become systematic, to preserve such a union, built on lies and outright disrespect, is no longer meaningful. In any case, treason marks not the end, but the beginning of a new life. And what it will be, depends only on you.
