In love relationships there are difficult periods, a crisis, when feelings fade away. This can lead to a final breakup of relationships.
Parting brings a lot of suffering, so the question arises: how to let go of the person you love? This is not easy, but the recommendations of psychologists can help to overcome this difficult period.
Why is it so difficult to escape unhappy love?
At first glance it seems that it is very easy to let go of a person, breaking the connection.
In fact, it turns out to be much more complicated.
Psychologists name several reasons according to which it is difficult for a person to let go of unrequited love:
- False dreams. A person comes up with those events that will never become reality. He lives in dreams, idealizes the chosen one. It seems to him that very soon the imaginary will become real life, but this does not happen.
- The object of adoration is perceived as property. The man begins to think that the beloved is his, nothing will separate them. In fact, everyone has the right to choose. Anyone can change their mind, change the decision. No one is owned.
- Anger. The person is angry at the object of adoration, feels offense. He believes that he was treated unfairly. Especially often this occurs in girls who have suffered because of unrequited love. They were fully revealed to the chosen one, but his feelings were not a response. As a result, the girls begin to be offended by the object of adoration, suffer and can not let him go.
- Thoughts on the past. Do not give rest and moments that have already occurred. It seems to people that if they acted differently, it would be possible to change the present and future. This makes spiritual wounds even deeper. Such thoughts need to get rid of.
It is for these reasons that it is very difficult to let a person go, to forget those feelings that brought joy and were hoping for a strong relationship.
The psychology of unrequited feelings
In most cases, people who suffer from unrequited love suffer feel unhappy love towards yourself.
Such people are trying with the help of another person to fill the void in the soul.
No need to think that only another person can make a happy person. This is not true. To build relationships need to be able to give, share many things.
If the inside is empty, the person feels unhappy, he cannot build a happy relationship. The object of adoration does not want to be with him, as a result, unrequited love is born.
There is unrequited love in the event that society imposes certain ideas, life scenarios. All around say that one can not live, you must meet with someone.
The person finds a more or less suitable option, but it turns out that he was wrong and the relationship will not work out. Then he clinging even to the germs of relationships that are, can not forget the joyful moments, as it is afraid to be alone again and be ridiculed by society.
Unhappy love often arises because of low self-esteem, when a person from childhood was inspired to be loved only for something, for certain achievements.
He does not believe that you can love just like that. it becomes a real problem as an adult when looking for a partner. A person will strive to prove something to others, to seek love and thereby repel people from himself.
If someone from close personal life has not developed, the parents are divorced, the child grows with the thought that it is impossible to build a strong relationship.
Then he will suffer because of unhappy love, instead of revealing himself to his feelings and trying to build relationships.
Unhappy love is much more seriousthan it may seem at first glance. The reasons must be sought in yourself, in your past. Work on yourself will help to change the life and attitude towards love.
What stages do you have to go through?
Usually a person goes through several stages to release the beloved from the heart and soul:
- The first stage is the most difficult. It is necessary to realize what the object of adoration wants from life and what the person himself wants. It is necessary to understand that views on life are completely different, to build relationships and create a family will not succeed.
You can take a piece of paper and a pencil, write plans for the future. Perhaps the objects of adoration there simply will not be a place.
It is necessary to understand that life goes on, it is beautiful and amazing.
- When it comes to the realization that you need to move on, possible mental agony. If you want to cry - it's better to let tears spill out. Do not keep it to yourself. This will be a sign that the person finally slams the past and moves forward.
- Next stage - getting rid of old stuff. If you still share photos, things and loved ones - they need to get rid of. No need to keep them. If all this is in the past, there is no place for it in the new life.
- Gradually, the pain will begin to subside., at this stage you should be inspired to make new plans. You can sign up for creative circles, in the gym, go on a trip. This will allow spiritual development and meet new friends. At this stage, the object of adoration will fade into the background, will be forgotten. New impressions, personal growth, a change in the situation really lead to the fact that a person leaves the heart and soul.
It is important to understand that life does not revolve around one personThis love is not the last. Ahead waiting for more happy relationships, joyful moments. There is no need to cling to something that brings only negative emotions.
Someone forget about the past in a few weeks, and someone needs months to recover.
How to learn to let people go? Find out from the video:
Psychological advice and practical recommendations
There are several techniquesthat help let go of a person.
How to forgive a grudge?
First of all, you need to try to understand him, think about why he acted one way or another, what reasons could lead to this.
We must take its place, then there will be answers to many questions.
There is an exercise that helps get rid of resentment, forget the past. It is necessary to sit down more comfortably and relax, to introduce yourself in front of a loved one.
Should present a picture of his punishment. It is necessary to present in detail that the person is being punished, he apologizes. This picture can bring satisfaction. It is possible that the offense will pass, and thus it will turn out to let go of the past.
At this time, you should not withdraw into yourself and give up the fun. You should go to friends in a club, cafe, cinema, go on a trip. This will be a real medicine for the soul.
Can I leave a partner who does not love you?
First recommended thank for all the object of adoration. No need to blame him for what happened. This does not help to correct the situation. I need to thank him for his experienced feelings and move on.
It is necessary to let go of malice and offense. An experience was given to a person so that he would carry out certain knowledge and draw conclusions. We must realize that it was not in vain, now comes another life, where there is only joy.
It is recommended to take a piece of paper and write what good this person did, for which he can be grateful.
Not everything is as bad as it seems. is he not accidentally like it and aroused sympathy.
We must remember the positive moments, and then tell ourselves that with this person there can be nothing in the future. What happened was left behind.
Meditation helps a lot. We must sit in silence relaxed, turn on calm music. This will help to immerse in yourself, restore the health of the nervous system.
Frequent meditations will bring back joy, excellent mood. Parting will no longer be so sick.
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How to let go favorite?
There are different situations in life. At first, love seems unearthly and everlasting, and then the girl declares that no longer feels those feelings and leaves. This delivers real torment and cope with them is not easy.
To recover as quickly as possible, to get rid of the pain inside, you need to say thanks to the girl Thank you for donating feelings and emotions.
Do not blame her for wanting to leave.
No longer feels what it was before. It is necessary to try to understand it, to wish happiness in the future.
If you still share photos, thingsthey get rid of them immediately, it is better to remove joint photos from social networks so that it does not hurt.
We must tune in to the future and imagine that the main love is still to come.
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How to forget the guy you love?
Girls parting very hard, much harder than guys or men. The thing is that girls are more sensitive and sentimental. However, this does not give reason to become self-contained.
To let go and forget the guy, you must stop taking offense at him. He gave a lot of bright feelings, joyful moments. It was not as bad as it may seem later.
It is necessary to understand the reason for separation and try to understand the young man. He did not accidentally decide to leave; he had his own reasons. You need to try to let him go and get rid of thoughts about him.
Photos joint, things are removed. They only make it worse. The guy's phone is also better to remove from the list of numbers so that there is no desire to call him.
Even better - go shopping with friends, buy new clothes, cosmetics, visit a beauty salon. Taking care of yourself will help overcome the internal crisis.
Staying at home in a bad mood and refusing to walk with friends - bad idea. It is much better to enjoy life and discover the happiness that lies ahead.
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If you love - do not let go
Should I follow this advice? Some people advise not to let go of a loved one, but this is not always the right step. In each case, only the person himself decides how to proceed.
If the loved one no longer wants to see him, left, or found another love, there is no point in fighting for happiness. Time will be lost.
Fighting for a relationship is only necessary if there is confidence that the second half also suffers.
It is necessary to release a loved one, sincere suffering will not lead to anything good. One should open up to the future, where happiness waits, one should not yearn for the past.