How to learn to communicate with people: tips

Establishing verbal contact for many people is an overwhelming task, because modesty and isolation prevent them from communicating with others. As a result, the inability to go on a dialogue with other people turns into problems in his personal life and work. This article will explain how to learn to communicate with people without experiencing discomfort.

The main constraints that interfere with normal communication with others

Psychologists emphasize that difficulties in communication often arise when it is necessary to establish contact with unfamiliar people. Speaking with a certain group of like-minded people, a person gets used to specific topics for conversation, to a certain flow of dialogue. When it becomes necessary to establish a relationship with strangers, it causes quite natural discomfort.

What limiters often prevent a person from feeling comfortable when dealing with various groups of people?

Complexity, because of which a person believes that he is simply not able to build a dialogue and be an interesting conversationalist.
High self-esteem, which makes a person look down on others, causing a negative reaction.
Social networks also act as a limiter, because getting used to chatting with friends and acquaintances online, it is difficult for the modern gadget connoisseur to make real contact.
The inability to properly build a dialogue can also act as a limiter, which additionally discourages others.
The absence of a certain intellectual basis can also impede harmonious communication.

A person who is confident in himself and in his knowledge in a particular area will always be able to engage in dialogue. Those who are lost at the first first question addressed to them, will continue to be shy and withdraw into themselves.

How do you need to communicate with people without being embarrassed and not lost at the same time? In this case, psychologists advise how to practice as much as possible. Sitting at home behind a computer screen, a person will never learn how to properly conduct a dialogue. To do this, he will have to come in contact with different interlocutors again and again, gradually understanding firsthand how to communicate.

5 Tips for Building the Right Dialog

Psychologists emphasize that communication problems are primarily associated with personal complexes, and only then depend on external factors. Trying to build a dialogue with a new interlocutor, a person should remember the following nuances of harmonious communication:

you should always listen to your interlocutor while asking him additional questions;
you do not have to be shy when making a conversation, because each person has his own "zest", his own individual trait, because of which it will be interesting to communicate with him;
if a person does not understand the topic that his interlocutors discuss, one should carefully transfer the dialogue to a strong area in which he is really good;
you should not talk too much about yourself during intercourse, as others may accuse the speaker of excessive arrogance and high self-esteem;
when communicating with others should not raise your voice, losing composure.

It is far from always possible to immediately build a dialogue and find an interesting interlocutor. However, psychologists urge not to lose hope, again and again start a conversation. Sooner or later there will be the interlocutor who will be able to completely divide the interests of the speaker.

Often a person does not understand that problems in communicating with others are related to his personal limitations. In order to constantly keep up conversations with different interlocutors, the speaker must be a diverse personality with his own views and convictions. That is why psychologists advise constantly to be educated, to read books, to watch more interesting films. The broader the person’s outlook, the greater the likelihood that he will be able to engage in dialogue with absolutely any interlocutor.

How to communicate with others: the beginning of a dialogue

The main problem for modest people who are afraid of verbal contact arises precisely when a dialogue is started. Approach a stranger or unfamiliar person and start talking to him - sometimes it is beyond his strength. However, psychologists advise the use of universal themes that will always help to establish a dialogue. How to communicate with a stranger at the first contact?

You must ask a polite, non-binding question about the weather, the things around you, or the person’s impressions.
The interviewer should talk a lot, and the function of the person who started the conversation is to listen.
It is important in such situations not to violate personal space, not to dismiss and not to come close.
You can start the conversation with a joke, because with a man who laughs, it is much easier to communicate.
You can also start communication with a compliment, but it should not be too intrusive.

It is important to remember that it is always more pleasant to communicate with an optimistic and cheerful person than with someone who looks gloomy or unhappy. Yesterday's modest must learn to have the very first phrase.

So, if a person wants to start a conversation at an exhibition, he must ask the interlocutor's opinion about the painting or the exposition as a whole. Express your impressions only after they are asked.

Another important point - the rejection of obsession. If the source speaks rudely about the unwillingness to communicate, it is worth retreating. Compliments and jokes should also not be too much.

Psychologists are advised to start a conversation confidently, without trembling in his voice. You should not speak loudly, but not quietly, you can not stutter. As soon as the interlocutor feels that he is a confident and intelligent person, he will definitely want to talk.

Choosing the right place for communication

How to communicate with people without embarrassment and not being afraid - this has already been discussed above. However, it is important not only to be able to start a conversation, but also to begin acquaintance in the right place. In fact, absolutely any institution, cafe, restaurant, cinema will be suitable for this. It is recommended to choose a place for communication by the following criteria:

there should not play too loud music, because then it will be difficult to talk;
there should not be too many people in the establishment, since it is always problematic to establish contact in a crowd;
ideally, this should be a place with which the person himself is familiar, because then he will be able to recall the facts and events connected with him;
one should choose the place where like-minded speakers gather.

To learn to communicate with people, you need to constantly establish a dialogue, and with a variety of interlocutors. The easiest way to communicate with peers who share the views of a person, but this does not mean that people older or younger are absolutely not interesting.

Some psychologists even advise trying to talk to someone completely different or inaccessible. For example, you can try to engage in dialogue with a star or with an elderly neighbor from a nearby apartment. A person must maintain communication, as long as possible, while not imposing and not showing rudeness. After communicating with such a complex interlocutor, standard dialogues with classmates or colleagues will seem trivial.

Communication with the opposite sex

The most difficult thing for a man is to comprehend the science of correct communication with the opposite sex. Sometimes a man can be the soul of a company among guys, but when establishing contact with girls, he loses all his agility. What advice do psychologists give here?

It is very important to be natural, forgetting excessive humor and boasting.
You need to choose to communicate the representative of the opposite sex, who is able to share the views of the person.
If a person is embarrassed to speak with the whole company, then you need to choose a single representative of the opposite sex for communication.
It is necessary to set aside greasy, vulgar jokes, because they can create a negative impression about a person.
There is also a rule on non-violation of personal space. If a man climbs hugging a girl at the first conversation, he will most likely be rejected.
You should always look at your interlocutor in your eyes and smile, as this will bring him to the dialogue.

How to communicate with people of the opposite sex, so as not to face rudeness? Here it is important to show naturalness and benevolence from the very beginning. That person who is optimistic, who treats his interlocutor with respect and is really interested in his views is hard to refuse.

If a man is embarrassed to approach the girl, psychologists advise all means to step over this barrier. It is necessary to make casual conversations in transport, at work, at parties. Once a man realizes that there is nothing difficult in the dialogue with the ladies, it will be much easier for him to make contact.

If the problem in communication is caused by the presence of complexes, it is necessary to defeat them first, calculate the source of difficulties and get rid of it. Here come to the aid trainings, regular communication with a psychologist and self-hypnosis. Even if a person does not have a bright appearance, he can always be interested in the interlocutor with his sense of humor or intellectual abilities. The main thing in such a situation is not to hide behind the guise of indifference, trying again and again to overcome his constraint in communication.

The only restriction that should be observed is not to resort to the use of alcohol to combat problems in communication. In general, the practice becomes the most effective way to deal with such verbal troubles.

Oksana, Dmitrov