Why does the dispute of some people resemble a graceful dance with blades, and the others like a market balagan? There is a huge gulf between idle talk and high controversy. To get to the edge of a skillful verbal duel from the coast of ignorance, knowledge of the rules is required. But which ones? And is it enough to know universal principles in order to be a discussion genius?
Everything is aggravated by the fact that there are different types of disputes. Does this affect the course of the dialogue? About this, as well as about the nuances of polemical skill - further in the article.
What is a dispute?
A dispute is an active discussion of a topic around which different opinions have formed. The main goal of the dispute is to convince the opponent that he is right, to prove that his own point of view is true. In the controversial contest can participate any number of speakers.
What distinguishes a dispute from a simple dialogue? Not raising the tone, not punching the table, or even arguing. What then? Each of the participants understands that he is arguing with an opponent, directly stating this, but not engaging in open conflict. Dispute is a verbal masterpiece, only true masters are able to create it. What is the highlight of the controversy?
What is the art of dispute
There are three main signs of a skillful argument:
- the contested topic is relevant, open;
- opponents in turn use not only facts, arguments, but also psychological tricks;
- the result of the discussion is the peaceful resolution of the conflict or the truth sought.
And vice versa. Dialogue cannot be called a masterful verbal duel if these features are not observed. In a closed problem, for which there is already a well-known irrefutable answer, there is nothing to argue about. A simple listing of factual information is boring; for a dispute, more is needed - psychology, knowledge of how to influence an opponent. If, in the end, the whole process ends with scolding, quarreling, it means there is no art in such a dispute.
Types of disputes
Constructive and destructive
The first type of dispute is creating, the second is destructive. This is the main difference. As a result of a constructive dialogue, the interlocutors come to one point of view, using honest methods of struggle.
Destructive appearance breeds quarrels, accusations, insults and even fights. During such communication, politeness and consistency are not respected. The participants of such a skirmish are aimed at winning their opinions, therefore, they ignore the views of the opponent, even if they are strongly argued.
Oral and written / printed
Verbal type includes conversations in real time. They can be public, group, private. Their main advantages are speed, openness, independence from conditions, expressiveness.
Writing includes correspondence by means of paper letters, mobile messages, Internet chats. For their implementation will need gadgets or writing materials. They are less emotional. The advantages of print disputes include the following features:
- ponder every cue;
- edit the text, correct typos before sending so that the opponent does not recognize the errors;
- attach evidence facts - links to authoritative articles, laws, images, video and audio recordings;
- use the messages — your own and the other person’s, to prove that a cue was indeed in the course of the conversation;
- Do not openly show your own emotions so that your opponent does not take advantage of this.
Organized and spontaneous
The first type of dispute is contractual. Participants agree to meet with the exact date, time, place. They get the opportunity to plan their speeches in advance, think over the pros and cons of their own scheme, prepare themselves morally.
Spontaneous discussions are spontaneous. For their occurrence, an unexpected excuse is required, which arises under the influence of external conditions or the words of the interlocutor. Such conversations are better than others show the ability to argue, oratorical skills, richness of speech, breadth of outlook, knowledge.
Thematic
Varieties of these conversations are determined by the subject of discussion, which may be:
- philosophical;
- political;
- personal;
- artistic;
- social;
- ethical;
- scientific;
- religious.
Each of these topics includes thousands of subsections. As a rule, rivals discuss no more than two problems at the same time - both the main global and narrower subtopics.
Target specific
Types of tasks that are set for the participants of the dispute:
- defeat your opponent;
- find the truth;
- to convince the interlocutor;
- peacefully resolve the conflict;
- argue for the process itself.
The last point is interpreted in two ways. Such a desire may indicate a desire to bring the opponent out of himself, to enjoy his breakdown. This is a negative aspect. Positive means love of psychological tricks, enjoyment of correct verbal competition. For a person of this type, a dispute is a true art without any negative.
In order for the discussion to be considered fruitful, several rules will have to be learned.
Dispute Rules
Respect for your opponent
A person who during a skirmish raises his voice, becomes personal, automatically becomes a loser. Yes, and to communicate with this type, few then want. In order not to lose its dignity even in the midst of polemical rivalry, it is enough to follow the basic rules:
- listen to the opponent to the end without interrupting him;
- do not affect intimate topics, awkward moments;
- to be polite, to be well-mannered in every act and word;
- respect the opinion of the opponent. You do not have to agree with him, but it is important to understand the right to your point of view;
- to finish the started discussion to the end, without leaving everything halfway because of the fear of defeat;
- to keep your own emotions under control, not to get lost on the interlocutor;
- be able to gently end the skirmish, if the enemy suddenly ceased to control himself and is ready to start a quarrel.
Politeness in the dispute - not just a good feature. It helps to win, provoke an opponent, force him to doubt his views. And this is already the art of verbal combat.
Attention to speech
The tone of a successful speaker is always firm, expresses confidence. The only exceptions are the moments when the methods of mental influence are applied. It is better not to lower the voice to a half-whisper, trying to give yourself a mystery. It looks ridiculous. However, there is no point in shouting. In this regard, there is nothing better than the golden mean.
It is advisable not to forget about attention to speech during written disputes. Illiterate messages are an instant defeat. If a person makes elementary errors in the text, it shows his disrespect for himself, the addressee. In such a person begin to doubt. If a person does not have the desire or ability to edit his mistakes, it means the rest of the questions as well.
Logic and argumentation
The thesis is determined, the facts on the topic are found, 3 books about oratorical tricks are read. All ready to argue?
It turns out that no. It is not enough to collect information and lay it out as if it were a spirit. It is important to provide evidence of your allegations. And more importantly, to tie this all into a logical, coherent presentation. In fact, it is not so simple. Moreover, it is not known how the interlocutor will behave, whether it is not necessary to change his course after his speech. Here is an approximate presentation:
- statement of his thesis;
- a short story about why this fact seems true or false, based on personal convictions;
- providing arguments in their favor from reputable sources - the work of great people, scientific facts, physical evidence, etc .;
- work with the arguments of the opponent - acceptance or justified negation;
- summing up, re-proclaiming the thesis or its refutation.
Trumps up your sleeve
No one is interested in hearing dry information. Evidence, as well as the emotional component of the dispute diluted this calm. However, the best method is strategy and tricks, for example:
- false agreement with the opinion of the enemy - for a sharp outburst or circulation of evidence of a competitor against himself;
- the game of contrasts;
- provoking emotions without becoming personal or rude;
- double standards;
- the invention of false facts with the subsequent disclosure of deception;
- flattery;
- poaching the public to your side, getting its support;
- hiding the key powerful argument to the climax.
Acceptance of the outcome
It would not have ended the argument, its outcome is better to take with dignity. In the event of victory, you can not scoff at the enemy, humiliate him, swagger victory. You can praise him for the interesting moments, thank him for the honor to compete, his time, informative information.
What categorically can not be done with the defeat:
- continue to deny obvious facts;
- blame the opponent and the public for stupidity, promiscuity;
- react violently to the loss;
- silently leave the “battlefield”;
- clearly offended;
- blaming everyone for fraud, cheating, if it is plainly obvious that the contest was fair;
- to come up with ridiculous false arguments.
Argument is not art for the lazy or the weak. It manifests manners, fortitude, perseverance, determination, sharpness of mind. Seeing how a person argues, you can recognize him from the inside. A person who, in a dispute that aims to calmly resolve a conflict of interest, looks noble. That is why I want to communicate with such people much more than with loud babblers. Conducting polemics with those who really know how to argue is a great honor and sheer pleasure.
