How to save a family: practical advice

In our time, couples are diverging more and more often. Having made such a decision, the husband or wife firmly believes that a new, happy future awaits them, of course, with someone else. But after a while, history repeats itself. It would seem that a really strong, stable relationship somehow collapses. Psychologists say that the most common cause of divorce is misunderstanding how to save a family.

Why do families break up?

Many believe that it is impossible to destroy sincere, strong feelings. Sadly, this is a myth. The reasons for the divorce may be mass.

Consider the most basic:

Gen. Every couple sooner or later faces this relationship killer. All-consuming routine casts boredom and even depression. In the end, one or both has the feeling that real life is passing by, and he hurries to break the hated bonds.
Insults. Husband and wife do not always meet each other’s expectations. As a result, frustration and resentment accumulate, conversations become less and less frank, trust is lost, conflicts and quarrels begin. If the spouses never learn to forgive each other's weaknesses, then such a marriage would be doomed.
Contempt. Union, in which the opinion of the partner is neglected, can not be happy by default. It is worth noting that mostly young, inexperienced spouses drag the blanket over themselves.
Sexual problems. Intimate life is inseparable from family relationships. Sex is a manifestation of love, spiritual affection, mutual respect. If family problems of an intimate nature begin, then disagreements in other areas cannot be avoided.
Different ideas about the family. Disharmony in relationships often occurs when the husband forbids his wife to work, while she has long dreamed of a career. This may also include a different view on the upbringing of children, the distribution of household duties, joint pastime.
Material lack of comfort. Lack of funds, sharing with parents, endless debts and loans put a lot of pressure on your nerves. It is not surprising that on this ground conflicts constantly flare up, which sooner or later lead to the disintegration of the family.
Physical or psychological cruelty, drunkenness. Alcoholics and tyrants can hide their essence for a long time or become so under the pressure of various circumstances. Of course, living with such a person is hard, and spouses often disagree.
Adultery. Often, it stems from dissatisfaction with family life. Husband or wife is looking for new emotions that does not get married. Sometimes the couple manages to keep the relationship after the betrayal, but as practice shows, if the family does not have a serious work on the mistakes, then it falls apart over time.
Serious tests. They either bring two loving people together, or turn them into sworn enemies. These include serious illness, loss of property, the birth of children, etc.

Unpreparedness for family life - the scourge of modern society. The illusion of riches of choice leads to the fact that men and women change partners like gloves, hoping, in the end, to find their own. However, few people understand that the reasons for a failed marriage are hidden in themselves. In fact, almost any relationship can be saved, if you know how to save a family.

How to prevent the collapse of the family?

Strong, happy marriage bonds are formed where both spouses understand that family is serious, important for life. Each of them is responsible not only for himself, but also for his partner. Moreover, they understand that happiness in a family is possible only in the case of disinterested care and service to a loved one. Usually in such unions the question never arises how to keep your family.

Unfortunately, such marriages are fading. Young women and men who themselves grew up in single-parent families often create frivolous, non-binding alliances. They do not understand that family is hard work, patience, and careful attitude to each other's feelings.

So how to prevent the collapse of the family? The recipe is both complicated and simple - start re-educating yourself. Yes, exactly myself. It is not necessary to change the character and habits of the partner, such violence will cause only negative. Only by example can we show how to build harmonious, happy relationships.

Author's advice. That woman has long been considered the keeper of the home. She has such qualities as patience, sensuality, tenderness, flexibility. Therefore, it is easier for her to adjust to something, to concede to her husband in order to preserve (from the word “keep”) her family.

Practical advice

To some, the secret of preserving marriage may seem obscure and somewhat blurred. However, it is necessary to proceed to the practical part, everything will immediately fall into place.

So how to save your family? Listen to the following helpful tips:

Learn to talk to your husband. It is important to strive for open communication, but this does not mean that you can say everything without thinking. Speech must be respectful and benevolent. If you are not in the mood now, then you should postpone the conversation for later. In addition, you should learn to listen and hear your interlocutor. Ask questions if something seems confusing or offensive.
Allocate responsibilities. If you have not done this yet, or the current state of affairs is not at all satisfactory to you, it's time to start an open dialogue with a partner. It should decide: how ideally you want to see your spouse? What exactly should he do? What responsibilities are you willing to take on? And finally, where do your desires coincide, and where can you give in to each other?
Make it a rule not to exacerbate the situation. Sometimes people act cruelly without realizing it. If your spouse is sick, tired or just out of sorts, do not cling to his words. Large quarrels always grow out of small conflicts. Therefore, it is better to let go of the situation now than to suffer and cry later.
Do not disclaim responsibility. Even if a man changes or drinks, the share of the woman’s fault is there too. She didn’t notice the changes, didn’t support them in time, refused to have sex, etc. Of course, you can endlessly revel in your resentment, but it will not help in maintaining relationships. It is important to realize that two people take part in building a family, and if you do not take into account your mistakes, the situation will repeat again and again.
Do not wash dirty linen in public. The crisis in relationships entails long discussions of the stalls. As a result, the spouses make peace, and close friends and relatives remain opposed to the guilty partner. Periodically, they will remind you of what happened, thus, without giving a final forgiveness and forget. Do not insult your loved one, you will make it worse only by yourself.
Follow the rules of etiquette. Make compliments, say "please" and "thank you", meet the person with a smile. Laugh at unfunny jokes, be courteous, especially at a party. These little things create an atmosphere of comfort and coziness. It is important for the spouse to feel that you are the person who will always accept and understand.
Do something together. Remember that you are not cohabitants, but a real family. This means that you need to learn how to spend time together is interesting and informative. These can be fishing trips, visiting exhibitions, playing sports or creating culinary masterpieces. Enter home traditions, order pizza on Sundays, play board games, run in the morning. Joint activities always brings together.

So how to save your family? Start changing yourself. Become a good spouse, empathetic and loving. Remember that love is attention, respect, devotion, patience, gratitude, kindness. She does not seek her own, does not harm, knows how to forgive, support in joy and sorrow. And even if the marriage eventually falls apart, the work on the errors will be carried out. Do not despair, because each situation is given to us for something.