Envy appears as a result of the awareness of others' victories and prosperity, most often in the material sphere or personal life. Much more difficult and stronger is the envy of peers, there is no way to refrain from comparing and not understanding "why he, not me." To understand how to get rid of jealousy, you need to understand the cause of its occurrence and learn about methods of dealing with it.
How to cope with envy: to realize, accept, eliminate
If the question "How to overcome envy" became an edge, you need to take it seriously. The first and foremost point is the realization that it is. It may sound a little strange, but many deny that they are jealous.
Justifying our “worm” with emotions of anger, aggression, misunderstanding, pseudo-indifference and resentment, we refuse to admit to ourselves that we are envious. Envious people are usually considered psychologically weak people who are not sufficiently asserted.
This is not entirely true. We just do not have enough of what is; we strive to have more - such is our insatiable nature. How to deal with envy? Realize its existence. If this is done, things are easy.
There are four color types of envy:
- White - the most "light version" of this feeling. It manifests itself in joy for the luck of people close to us, but it fraught with a share of discontent. It is called harmless and rarely attributed to negative emotions.
- Black - manifestation of feelings of anger, rabies, discontent caused by other people's success.
- Yellow - the opposite feeling, that is, the envy of other people to us. This is a hidden feeling that is seen in the hypocrisy of others. If other people feel insincere or a side glance is noticeable, that’s definitely it.
- Green - similar feeling, but different in that the envious people express their discontent openly. Many people like to feel envious, and they even provoke it.
How to protect yourself from envy and stop envy
Do not compare yourself with others
Concentrating on other people's victories, we find more and more reasons to envy. In addition, we ignore our own achievements. For example, envying someone else’s financial situation, we feel anger and discontent, we begin to look for all sorts of excuses - he was lucky, or his parents provided him, or he had a good job. Such pretexts indicate that we reject the honest human right to success.
There are cases where the leading role belongs to luck, but this is not always the case. The main task is not the search for excuses, but the awareness of one's own laziness and passivity. Instead of spending time on the worm, it's time to pull yourself together and become successful.
Put yourself in the shoes of others
Psychologists know how to get rid of envy and offer an effective exercise. One must imagine oneself in the place of a person for whom envy is being tested. Is there a desire to live his life, his family and work, physical and mental abilities? This technique helps to realize well that success does not always exceed the cup of failure.
The material condition does not solve all life problems, which means that not everything always happens as well as it seemed at first glance. Perhaps our success is worth more, even if it concerns another area of life.
Stop listening to someone else's opinion
An objective opinion from the side often helps us in life, but sometimes its strength is simply destructive. Envy manifests itself unconsciously and undesirablely, and the reason for this is promising opinions from outside, which "know better how we live." The most important thing is not to succumb to this influence and decide for yourself how to organize your life: where to work, whom to love, what to devote time, how much to earn. The imposition of alien ideals provokes emotions that we initially did not even experience.
Define your concept of success
For some, the goal in life is to conquer all strange, for someone luck is a stuffed wallet, and for someone it's a beautiful wife and family comfort. Society dictates to us the "sketch" of an ideal life: a big house, a lucrative job, a family. Deviation from the “norms” provokes a feeling of envy; this is not always the case for reasons that are understandable to us.
How not to envy such an "ideal scheme of life"? It's simple: make your own and find out what exactly is success for us. Perhaps happiness in home comfort and favorite business, or joy in traveling hitchhiking and parental home? Worth thinking.
Do not expect more than can be
If the constant motto in life is dedication and diligent efforts, then there should be no envy here. Sometimes the understanding that life goes on helps a lot. It is not worthwhile to harass yourself if the dream has not yet been achieved. Self-confidence + purposefulness - the recipe for the correct achievement of the goal.
How to deal with envy: to prevent and neutralize
In order to envy did not seize, you need to think about how not to let this insidious thought into your head at all. You can prevent it by following these tips:
- Do not forget that success can be achieved through diligence and work.. Stop waiting on the life of gifts and act on the fulfillment of desires.
- Concentrate on your victories. Paying attention to your life, sometimes the thought arises: "But I, too, have a lot." Do not forget about the goals achieved, it is desirable to praise yourself for diligence, to appreciate what is.
- Work on self-esteem and not underestimate their capabilities. Most of the famous people were poor or suffered terrible diseases, but this did not prevent them from achieving success. Belief in yourself and self-development - a strong weapon against negative emotions to others.
- Transform envy into a life landmark. Proper construction of goals and their means of achievement will bring them closer to the dream, bypassing the achievements of others.
- Remember the destructive power of envy. It is better not to waste time on it, but to send forces to your own development.
- Sincerely glad for the one who had to envy. Building a good relationship, we get something nice in return. Even if a person is not always pleasant to us, it is worthwhile to overcome the wormhole and praise his efforts, because not only emotions give rise to actions, but also vice versa.
- Get rid of justice. Envy is associated with our ideas of justice. Alas, they do not always coincide with reality. It is not in our power to change it, which means that we need to accept things as they are.
- Remember that in the world there is at least one person who considers us special, which means you need not to undermine someone else’s faith in us.
- Avoid envious, "evil eye" of others and other negatives.
Envy spoils relations with friends and confuses life values. How to get rid of envy? The answer is simple: work on yourself, find a goal, respect the work of others, determine success. By listening to our advice, you can prevent the appearance of an insidious worm and rise another step in self-development.
