We often say "thank you" automatically, just because we have been accustomed to this since childhood. But true gratitude requires a lot of inner work, willpower and courage. Why is gratitude so important? How does the energy of gratitude reduce stress, preserve family and improve health? How do you use a diary to make gratitude a way of life?
We selected 3 effective techniques from the best trainers in self-development. Read, practice and enjoy the result.
What is gratitude
Gratitude is a special energy that we feel on an intellectual and emotional level, realizing that a person or a community of people has done something to our advantage. And yet - an adequate expression in words, deeds and deeds of appreciation for the good shown. This is a resource condition that brings people together.. Gratitude is one of the forms of empathy, blurring the boundaries between the state of joy, love, pleasure, tranquility, inspiration. It occurs when the rendered good is more than ordinary participation in the life of another person.
Etymologically derived from two words "good"+"to give"Thus, gratitude gives an understanding that the balance of the concepts of giving and receiving is extremely important. The tradition of exchanging gifts originates from the ancient ceremonies of reciprocity of services when any gift suggested a reciprocal offering. No wonder the Greek word."charis"had several meanings:"talent", "mercy", "service", "gratification". In the Old Russian New Testament, it was translated as"grace", in Italian transformed into"gracia" - "thank", in English in"gratitude" - "thanks".
Sincere appreciation - a complex feeling, much deeper than a ritual of politeness, when we say "thank you" and hand a thank-you gift. Such a skill stems from awareness and requires practice. The more reasons for joy we notice in life, the more often we discover what we can truly be grateful for. The more appreciation we give, the more joy we get in return.
It is scientifically proven: when we are grateful, we improve our psychological and physical health, reduce stress levels, recover faster after injuries, and increase our self-esteem. This is a powerful psychological tool that helps to get away from negative emotions, such as envy and anger, and to focus on the positive. Conscious practice of gratitude plunges into a state of peace and gives freedom from insults. At the level of descriptions, this feeling may seem incomprehensible, but at the level of personal experience, it is not surprising.
Thanksgiving as a ministry
Thanksgiving was originally part of a religious language. Most world religions assume that created rational beings have a duty of gratitude to God for their creation. Therefore, specific people, entire communities, or idealized entities — God, the Universe, the Spirit, the Creator — become recipients of expressing gratitude.
In the bible the word "thanksgiving" occurs 125 times. Thanksgiving is not a part of etiquette, but the essence of life, where only God should be the only recipient of real gratitude. Along with praise and worship, thanksgiving is an indispensable part of prayer associated with mercy, humility, and friendliness. It brings believers into the right relationship with the Divine reality — it opens its eyes to the reality of His love and care. It is believed that a person unable to thanksgiving to make happy is simply impossible.
In islam preach similar principles of understanding thanksgiving. Praise and gratitude are considered traits inherent in true believers, and ingratitude is severely condemned and attributed to the wrong.
In buddhism gratitude is considered one of the components of enlightenment. It is necessary to thank the parents, teachers - regardless of the lessons they were taught, they were spiritual mentors of the grateful. It is important to do something for others, not expecting rewards. And it is also important to learn not to blame for the ingratitude of others.
Judaism calls ingratitude the first human sin. In the Torah there are many references to the obligation to thank the Almighty in prayer and in a meal of thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving as a virtue
In ancient civilizations of Greece and Rome, gratitude was identified with justice according to the principle "you-me, me-you." Aristotle emphasized that thanksgiving manifests itself in "the answer to the service person"The ancient Greek epicurean philosopher Metrodor wrote that"only a sage and can repay".
German philosopher Immanuel Kant and french writer Jean-Jean Russo They considered gratitude as a duty that obliges a person to a reciprocal blessing. The author of the philosophical writings Francois de Larochefoucco saw in her disguised servility, and the French moralist Nicolas de Chamfort believed that a person says "thank you" solely on the basis of receiving in return something more than what he had already received.
But gratitude is undoubtedly a virtue. It’s not for nothing that Thanksgiving Day is considered to be one of the most honored and expected holidays by Americans. The emergence of the idea of celebration is rooted in the first settlers of America. After the cold winter, when almost half of the people died, Indians came to the aid of the settlers. In 1621, the colonists gathered a rich harvest. After that, the first governor of the colony offered to celebrate Thanksgiving to the Lord for mercy, and to the Indians for help. A joint feast was the first Thanksgiving. Over time, the celebration lost its deep religious significance and became a nationwide civil celebration.
How gratitude makes life better
Gratitude is one of the virtues that more makes us human. And yet - a powerful tool that can transform our lives.
Eliminates the negativity
Grievances often leave mental scars for life. How can you be grateful to your offenders? It turns out you can. These people made us what we are. Many admire Victor Frankl. But his books were written because there was a concentration camp in life. The paintings of the Mexican artist Frida Kahlo are exhibited in the art galleries of the world. But her extraordinary talent was revealed after an illness and a terrible accident. These are the cases when scars adorn a person.
So, without thanks and forgiveness towards your offenders, it is impossible to move on. Otherwise, we will constantly return thoughts to the past or to the future - where we mentally create retribution.
Strengthens relationships
Mutual gratitude of partners is a key sign of strong relationships. Scientists from an American university interviewed 250 married couples about their material well-being, communication, and ways of expressing appreciation. It turned out that even a simple "thank you" keeps from a final break in hopeless situations. This study clearly demonstrated how significant the feeling of value for spouses is in the eyes of another.
To thank the partner is not necessary to wait for the feat on his part. Suffice it to recall the daily duties of each and thank for it. After all, without these little things, life and family can collapse.
Treats depression
Depression is accompanied by a feeling of depression, insomnia, unwillingness to communicate with people. In this state it is difficult to be grateful to anyone. Neurobiologists explained that the habit of giving thanks changes the structure of the brain, stimulates its work, improves the general condition, makes us happier. Joyful emotions affect the nervous system, improve sleep, reduce anxiety. The practice of gratitude improves the condition of patients with disorders of the neuromuscular system.
Are such results unworthy of developing the gratitude skill? Appreciation will refocus attention to joy, change negative thoughts to positive ones, increase the production of happiness hormones, instill hope for recovery.
Boosts sales
According to the University of Michigan scientists, words of appreciation from the company's managers or managers help to increase customer loyalty and increase the number of regular customers almost doubled. Moreover, customers do not just return, they recommend the company to friends. And the effect of the letters of thanks turned out to be more than from additional bonuses or discounts. The main rule of a manager can be formulated as follows: treat each employee as a client in every way emphasize the importance of his services to the company.
Gratitude does not give instant results, but in the future it helps to retain and motivate employees, retain customers, and develop business.
Dissatisfaction with life is often felt in people of gratitude. And it's not about forgetting, when we just don’t say thank you. This is a failure to recognize the value of all that we have. Techniques of gratitude will teach just to remember that we have everything for joy and well-being.
3 techniques that will teach to be grateful
Gratitude is the quality of a mature personality. Children do not know how to thank, they can only demand and take. Although psychologists consider children's ability to be grateful as a prerequisite for complex moral abilities - empathy, trust, and responsiveness.
People who are sincerely grateful and easily accept the words of appreciation do not necessarily have more than others. But they are really lucky. Instead of dissatisfaction with destiny, circumstances, surroundings, they notice blessings and thank life for all that they have.
Before practicing a new skill, you must:
First of all, accept the imperfection of the world and live on. You can feel appreciation not only in moments of happiness. There was a nuisance - mentally express dissatisfaction, then thank the situation and move on.
Secondlylearn to separate sincere support from obsessive help. Sometimes the rendered "good" turns out to be so inappropriate that it causes internal resistance. In such a situation, the picture is built: if I do not need what they give me, I leave behind a choice - to thank or not.
Thirdly, stop raping others by waiting for reciprocal thanks. Any obligations are oppressive, so a person seeks to get rid of them faster. If you do good, do not expect return service. In the end, you still win.
If you feel that something is going wrong in life, try to learn the skills of gratitude. To do this, you need a minimum of resources or do not need anything.
The technique of the four components of gratitude Brian Tracy
The author of bestsellers and self-development trainings, Brian Tracy, is grateful to the main habits that help improve relationships with others. The four-component technique will help to develop and strengthen the habit of generating a field of appreciative energy.
Component 1: Appreciation. This is one of the forms of interaction with the world and an important tool of communication. Do not miss the opportunity to say "thank you" to anyone who helps you cope with household or work affairs, simply provides a service or says a compliment. This motivates them to new help and participation in our lives.
Component 2: Approval. This is an external confirmation of our value. Praise and approve every achievement, attempt, or idea at every opportunity. Praise satisfies another secret human need to feel its importance.
Component 3: Compliments. A sincere emotion of admiration is like an echo: one says pleasant things, the other in return confidentially shares his feelings. A good compliment brings together the emotional centers of people. Admiration for what is most valuable for a person is a great way to bring a smile on his face and a new opportunity to get close.
Component 4: Attentive Hearing. This is a discipline that does not require theory, but is built solely in practice. Whenever you are intently listening to the interlocutor, do not interrupt, do not express your opinion, his self-esteem increases, and the degree of trust between you increases.
The feeling of gratitude makes you more receptive, helps to know the people around you. By correctly using the habits of appreciation, approval, attention and listening, you will become a more positive and popular person.
Thanksgiving diary
Experts say that wariness in anticipation of bad is a human genetic trait. Our ancestors had no opportunity to enjoy the sunset, they looked out for enemies. To overcome the tendency in the cortex of the brain to look for the negative, start a thank-you diary. Just mark everything in the magazine that you want to say "thank you" for.
Here are a few rules for keeping a diary:
- It can be in any format - electronic or traditional.
- It should be always at hand.
- Thank-you lists are best to make the usual words.
- It is desirable to fill in the diary in the morning.
Steps for filling in the diary:
- Set dates in advance. It disciplines and makes you take notes daily. Missing pages will help mentally return to the past day and remember the best.
- Relax. In anger, depression, or anxiety, it is difficult to cultivate positive thoughts in yourself.
- Listen to your feelings. When we perceive the world through smells, tactile sensations, taste, everything around us slows down and unfolds from an unexpected side.
- Stay here and now. Experiences about the past, anxieties about the future make it difficult to experience the beauty of life at this point in time.
- Re-read the records. This is a terrific chance to recall past experiences, thoughts. This will give an understanding that in every situation there are good moments and a reason for joy.
Morning Gratitude Ritual
Early ritual of gratitude will make the morning memorable and invigorating, will set a positive for the whole day. Enough to allocate six minutes daily to achieve the level of development that you want. This is written in his book "The Magic of Morning" Hal Elrod. So, the morning ritual can take place like this:
- Imagine that you wake up, smile, and mentally thank the Lord for a new day.
- You mentally return to yesterday and remember all that you have achieved.
- You close your eyes and mentally draw your perfect day. Thank you in advance for the important people, your friends and detractors for the lessons provided.
- You write down the words of thanks for everything that you are proud of and the plans for the next day.
- And finally, you get up, smack, spend a few minutes in motion to stir up circulation.
It is difficult for us to thank the world for not considering it as valuable. But the fact is that we take everything around us for granted. You can thank for significant and insignificant things - the morning sun, the health of loved ones, the food on the table, the smiles of children deserve the most sincere "thank you."
What can be done right now?
Write a letter of thanks to a person who has a positive impact on your life - a teacher who gave you a second chance or a friend who happened to be near. The main thing is not to restrain yourself, generously express appreciation. Even an unsent letter will reduce the level of anxiety, add optimism, help you feel connected with significant people.
Take a piece of paper and write a list of 100 things that cause gratitude. You can replenish this list with items for which you want to thank someone today.
During meditation, direct your attention to the mantra of gratitude or to the prayer of thanksgiving.
This could be the beginning of an effective self-development strategy. And the result is not long in coming.
Findings:
- The energy of gratitude creates within us a source of deep peace, heals, improves relationships with others.
- Expression of sincere appreciation does not allow to focus on yourself, even in a period of deep depression.
- You can thank a particular person or life itself - to express gratitude for being alive.
- Mentally "thank you" unpleasant person helps to understand him better. A loud "thank you" makes a friend out of the enemy.
- An expression of gratitude does not always follow a service or a good deed. Sometimes it turns into a heavy burden of commitment.
- The person says "thank you" automatically or consciously - depends on the education.
- Thanksgiving is a discipline that requires practice.
