“Tired of life, tired of the fuss around, not enough strength even to smile” - every fifth man wakes up with these thoughts. And the disappointing statistics continues to grow.
Not everyone will find the courage to admit that they are close to those who are close to them, especially to sign up for a psychotherapist. The labels “head”, “leader”, “defender” have taken root in society so strongly that it is elementary for the strong sex to talk about their feelings. Nevertheless, men have feelings, emotions, the need to express them. Therefore, it is better to immediately reject several socially imposed stamps.
I have to earn more
Socium condemns if a woman earns more in a couple. But in fact, in this situation there is nothing bad. Spending more time on additional work when there is enough money, or asking a partner to quit it makes no sense. If a girl with good financial conditions begins to reproach the material issue or even humiliate herself, this is a reason to talk to her seriously.
Another option: a young man works in one or two jobs, his girlfriend is unemployed. This is a valid situation if the satellite:
- He is fully responsible for homeliness - washing, cooking, cleaning, etc .;
- is on maternity leave or has several small children;
- gets an education;
- is actively looking for vacancies;
- has no opportunity to go to office, can work only at home.
If a man sticks in, and his faithful only spends money, it is at least unfair. People-parasites - partners, friends, relatives - take time and effort. To indulge their whims to the detriment is a bad idea.
Thinking about higher earnings is desirable for those who either do not work at all or suffer from an acute shortage of finances.
It is forbidden to show feelings
There is nothing scary in openly rejoicing at victories, sadness at failures, letting a tear while watching the touching moment in the film. This is normal. The same applies to requests for support. If there is a black stripe in life, you can ask for help and advice from relatives, share the problem with a partner.
Going to a psychotherapist is a serious step, but it is also a solution to many difficulties. There is a deep-rooted opinion in society that only women can go to such doctors, as they are more emotional. However, men also deeply experience all events, the only difference is that they show it much less often. If you have the courage to visit the office of such a doctor, he will help:
- cope with depression, stress, moral fatigue;
- believe in yourself;
- find meaning, purpose in life, identify true desires;
- find ways of self-realization;
- choose the right path on the way to the dream;
- better understand others, build healthy relationships with them;
- learn to love yourself, not to play other people's roles.
A man must be brutal
Boys play football, girls play dolls. Boys repair motorcycles, girls - cookers. And thousands more absurd gender stereotypes.
One advice: do what you like, what inspires and pleases, what makes you open your eyes in the morning. If a young man does not want to work at a construction site, but dreams of a dancer's career, this is normal. If he likes to cook, and not to dig in a pile of iron - this is also the norm. He wants to devote his life to the family, and not to huge earnings - great. It is much worse for years to comply with the false standard, to break oneself, and then to hate life.
Strong alcohol does not happen much
Meetings in the garage or bar with friends, drinks themselves are a good rest. I want to meet with friends and cultural sit - a great idea. But if the company has the idea that hard drinking is fine and other opinions are not accepted, it is time to change the circle of contacts. Alarms in such situations:
- no meeting, even the 10-minute does not pass without alcohol;
- friends do not perceive the refusal of alcohol or condemn it;
- “Buddies” remember each other only on the eve of the party;
- the evenings end with loud quarrels or fights;
- in the company of these people all the time there is a desire to get drunk before the shutdown;
- there are always plenty of alcoholic beverages, and they are very strong.
You can periodically meet with friends at football matches and drink a couple of glasses of beer. Ordering wine at family dinners is also considered a normal leisure. Celebrating a colleague's birthday with an adequate amount of whiskey, brandy, rum or brandy will also not cause problems. But only as long as you want it in a reasonable way and so far no one is against refusal from an alcohol additive.
No fuss with looks
Take care of yourself and be stylish is not shameful. It speaks about accuracy, good breeding, good self-esteem. Female sex is weak in relation to men who wear ironed clothes, watch their hair and beard, smell deliciously new perfume. If a person cares so much about his image, appearance, he knows what reputation and responsibility are.
For example: the client needed legal assistance. He learns about two experts, decides to meet with both loyalty. He enters the office of the first, sees an ordinary man in a slightly dented business suit, with slightly disheveled hair and bristles. In the second office there is a lawyer waiting for him who knows who the barber is and often uses his services. He is in an inexpensive but neat suit. Do I have to say whose help the client chooses?
I am a leader and responsible for everything.
You can’t go all alone. Someone else's responsibility is the problem of other people. Sister sat behind the wheel drunk, received a fine for it and asks to pay it? Let her correct her mistake. The girl decided to buy too expensive underwear, now she does not have enough lipstick - the next time she will save. It is better not to rush to give help to those who are to blame for the problems and at the same time do not want to change it. A man is only responsible for:
- personal behavior;
- own appearance;
- their minor children, their upbringing;
- elderly parents;
- tamed animals;
- workplace, the results of labor.
In other cases - a matter of choice. Taking on an unbearable burden means forgetting about personal needs, private life, the joys of it. It is better to immediately delineate the boundaries of their responsibility and not allow others to impose something beyond them.
Tree, house, son - no deviations
Banal scenario, which is taught from childhood. First, everything can be replaced by a flower, a country house and a daughter. Secondly, if the soul does not stretch to such an alignment, why force yourself? There are only a few rules that are desirable to follow:
- make sure that the way of life does not harm anyone;
- immediately talk about your intentions, without misleading others;
- clearly decide for yourself what you want, stick to the planned course without hesitation, throwing from one to another (if there are doubts, it means the wrong way);
- make sure that after 10, 20, 50 years there will be no regrets about the decision.
If you do not want a family, it is enough to say so directly, without giving false hopes. This is much better than subsequent quarrels, betrayals in the family. There is no desire to continue the family business - to make it clear. One quarrel after this does not compare with the aimlessly lost years, if you go against your will.
If you are very tired of life, it's time to stop playing by someone else's rules. Each person is individual and dreams of his own. The recognition of society will flatter itself, but will not be a source of freedom and happiness. Stereotypes are overwhelming stones blocking the way. They are almost impossible to budge, but turning back does not make sense either. It is better to simply go around such obstacles and then forget about them forever.
