Relationships do not last longer than a couple of months? Are you tired of sitting with mascara flowed from tears because of another scandal or rupture? What is the reason? The crown of celibacy, damage, the evil eye, men goats, Universal injustice ... Or a banal ignorance of how to meet a guy correctly.
The rules of the “ideal” girl, the basics of relationships with men, blunders that can cross out all the advantages - later in this article.
How to behave in a relationship with a guy
Respect his personal space
The most exciting moments behind, the relationship started, you can freely call yourself his girlfriend. The main thing - do not overdo it. He simply offered to be together. He certainly does not want his freedom, all previous plans, dreams burned by the victims of the pyromaniac.
Therefore, it is desirable to immediately accept it:
- old hobbieswhich he is accustomed to devoting specific time to;
- ordinary environment - acquaintances, colleagues, friends;
- the job, especially if he loves and appreciates her;
- innocent habits - ironing street dogs or buying lottery tickets, for example;
- tastes in clothes, film and other fields.
Any attempts to control, wean him will have the opposite effect. Of course, it is possible and even recommended to talk about things that are not pleasant, but calmly, without “pressing” and moralizing.
The initial stages of the union are learning habitsinterests, principles of each other at a new, deeper level. The main task of this period is to learn how to correctly combine their “graphics”. It is important to understand what can be done together, and what separately, where it is better to compromise, and where and reasonable the victims. This is the “lapping” stage. It will not be possible to step to the next step without going through this stage to the end.
Adequately respond to his loved ones
It's about friends and family. And in this regard, many girls show two opposite extremes.
- Disdainfully, to speak negatively about his relatives, friends.
- To focus on trying to please his entourage.
Both points of view imply negative consequences. In the first case, the girl deeply insults the feelings of the chosen one, rejecting an important part of his life. These people supported the guy, helped him long before his companion, in principle, drew on the horizon. Her onefi”Will not be enough to break such a connection. But quite enough for parting with her.
CircumferenceDo I like his mom?”Also poisons the relationship. However, this is more of a time bomb. The guy can flatter that his girlfriend:
- remembered the birthdays of his parents;
- trying to give gifts to his family;
- tries to establish contact with a potential mother-in-law;
- behaves politely and decently in the family circle;
- interested in the health and affairs of his relatives.
However, sometimes this list may not be limited. Idea cause sympathy with his loved ones become a real mania. It is accompanied by stubbornness, a refusal to notice anything around, except for the reaction of the individuals of interest. If a man is not at all sure that he is already ready to introduce the girl to her parents, and she insists on this, the situation becomes aggravated.
Getting along with his mom is, of course, good. But still relationships are built with him, and not with his parent. So it is better not to overdo it with attention to his relatives, forgetting about the beloved himself.
Do not stop flirting
Even if it came to marriage. Special in this case. The reverse situation faces two side effects.
- The man fell in love with a flirtatious cat, constantly warming up his excitement. And at the exit I received an aunt in a dressing gown, with curlers and a face mask of sour cream and cucumbers. The contrast is too strong not to notice.
- Lack of change, “evenness” in the relationship bored. The routine starts to kill the senses. Emotions subside and become bland.
It is not necessary to always look your best. And, of course, you don’t have to wake up an hour earlier than he does to apply “natural” makeup. However, taking care of yourself is a must. File your nails, monitor the cleanliness of hair, body, clothing, to be neat - the simplest hygiene. In addition, you can:
- to arrange pleasant surprises for him not only in the kitchen, but also in bed;
- show tenderness and care (without fanaticism);
- flirt with him, “ogle”, flirt;
- plan a joint vacation in a new setting;
- use unobtrusive tactile contact - hold his hand across his chest barely touching, slightly scratch the skin, gently touch the lips of his neck while embracing, for example;
- allow him to constantly see the secret, to feel unpredictable. To do this, develop, study yourself, try yourself in something new.
Solve problems calmly
Relationship difficulties are an inevitable reality. They have all couples. Why do some people part, and the latter, despite the misunderstandings, live happily for years?
The point is to resolve conflicts, more precisely - in the ways. Yes, the pipe in the bathroom has been going on for a whole week, but he is not doing anything. But can tantrum solve this problem? Obviously not.
In any problem the best solution is to talk. It would be nice to build it according to the scheme. ”I do not like… ”:
- what exactly? (“... that you do not want to fix the obvious damage ... ”);
- why? (“... because it's a man's job. I would like you to do it, as I perform women's duties at home”);
- what feelings does the problem cause? (“When you do nothing, it seems to me that you don't care about our relationship. It hurts me”);
- what is expected (“Please repair the pipe or call a specialist.”);
- what will be in case of the decision? (“I will be very grateful to you, and we will no longer quarrel about it”).
The conversation is conducted in a soft, calm tone, it is better to look into the eyes. After the difficulty is overcome, it is very important to thank the partner for his actions.
The taboo zone, or the typical mistakes of girls
Manipulation
Jealousy, “double standards”, impulsiveness, uncompromising, selfishness, arrogance and arrogance push women to such baseness. The desire to manipulate can not arise from good motives. Typical manipulator actions:
- threats to break off relationships or leave “to mom / dad / aunt from Tambov”;
- pressure on pity through tears or lamentations;
- setting a rigid framework in a meaningless choice (“either me or ”);
- intima restriction (“Ah well! No sex for a week!”);
- a promise to harm oneself, another person or property.
If at least one of these phrases has slipped through one’s own words, it’s time to change. And as soon as possible. Feelings do not tolerate the framework, they prefer freedom. If you take it away, they will start to go out. And the manipulator itself causes only contempt and unwillingness to mess with it.
HyperTeek Syndrome
“No, Lena, I'm sorry, but I will not come to you at the bachelorette party. I still need Vasechka to cook, to stroke his shirts, to wash his pants.
What? No, no, I started a dance. Vasya said he was jealous of my coach.
Well, what work, Lena? My Vassenka does not want me to work. And what, that I loved my profession?
I'm sorry, what? To the cinema? Today? Oh, yes, not long ago. But no, Lenochka, I can not, my Basil didn’t have something to do with the project. How can I leave him alone, sad?”.
Mystery of the century: men do well in everyday life without women. One has only to leave - and they prepare Peking duck, they easily cope with the washing machine and even (incredibly!) Take out the garbage themselves without prior request.
For hyper-cares, he had a childhood, a granny and a mother. Now he is an adult man and deserves the appropriate attitude.
And the grandmother woman is nonsexual, after all!
“He will change”
Or worse: “My love is enough for two". No, not enough. No, it will not change. Totally. It is useless to wait. It's all simple - or a person goes to contact, or not. "Or maybe, what if ..." is not a ride.
One of two things remains: either to accept its shortcomings and live with them, or not to fool each other’s heads.
“I can do it myself”
Such a motto was appreciated by women during the Great Patriotic War. The men went to the front, but the farm remained, and it was necessary for someone to maintain it. At the same time, the country had to be raised along with children.
Fortunately, the terrible events are long gone. Unfortunately, women continue to adopt that ideology. As a result, appear immediately two problems:
- pride, ego and self-esteem of a man are hurt, because next to him is a girl a la “I will do everything myself”. Over time, he disappears even the desire to show male qualities. And why? “She will cope with everything herself”;
- a woman takes on a huge responsibility and in fact an unbearable burden. Sooner or later, it will be on the verge of its capabilities. Most likely, the girl will begin to show it.
What will happen next? She will require (not ask) help from him. And he has already got used to the fact that she is “strong and independent,” and will not do anything or leave at all.
It is better to periodically allow yourself to be weak, enjoying female advantages, if the situation allows it. And let the men be the heroes.
The main rule explaining how to meet a guy is trite and suitable for any relationship, even business. It is important to treat a person with understanding, respect him, but do not forget about yourself.. The beauty of the principle is that it leaves near only adequate and good people. Others do not obey such a law, which means they can be easily calculated and “withdrawn” from personal space.
