Psychology

What to do if there are no friends: the opinion and recommendations of psychologists

Friends for any person are a kind of shield from the problems occurring around. They can always be trusted, their help is invaluable, and support is invaluable. But what about those people who are alone in life and do not have friends? First you need to understand the psychological characteristics of this problem.

Lack of friends: the opinion of psychologists

Psychologists have long concluded that a person needs to communicate for a normal life in society. And he needs to communicate not only with casual acquaintances, but also with those who can be called friends. Such a dialogue not only enriches the inner world, but also helps to get rid of existing problems.

If a person does not have such a social circle, the reason may be as follows:

  • inner closeness prevents him from trusting at least someone that destroys any reserve for friendship;
  • betrayal of friends or relatives in the past becomes the reason for the birth of a psychological barrier;
  • a person does not have enough time to maintain friendships due to his passion for a career or relationship;
  • a person cannot find a social circle that corresponds to his intellectual level and life views.

Friends are not only those who can listen to the person, but also a group of people who are able to maintain a dialogue with him. That is why it is so important to look for a company of like-minded people with similar views and hobbies. Psychologists say that in this case it will be easier to keep in touch, because you want to meet like-minded people, you want to attend various events of interest.

Many people even think that their friends are useless. Communication with society is replaced by relatives, as well as numerous colleagues. However, relatives are not always fair in their judgments, and colleagues often do not care about personal problems of a person. That is why it is important to have at least one friend in this life, with whom you can make a joke and cry.

Lack of time is just an excuse, behind which reluctance to meet with someone hides. Perhaps this is due to human complexes, and perhaps due to the difference in his views with the beliefs of his friends. If a person really wants to communicate with this or that circle of like-minded people, he will always find time for this.

Anyway, this social isolation can cause serious problems. According to psychologists, not wanting to communicate even with someone, a person can not splash out their emotions and thoughts. As a result, all critical situations occurring in life, he has to experience alone.

How to find friends

Having finally understood that everyone needs a minimum social circle, a person wonders what to do next? In this situation, there is only one way out: to find friends, and as soon as possible. What can be done for this?

  • attend thematic events of interest and talk with those who are present at them;
  • communicate with colleagues, classmates and classmates outside of work and study activities;
  • spend as much time as possible outside the home, making new acquaintances;
  • communicate on the Internet on thematic sites, tying relationships with people around the world.

Modern technology gives people a lot of opportunities. Now he can make friends not only with his flatmate, but also with an elderly German or a young American woman in different parts of the world.

In such a situation, any kind of communication is encouraged in a positive way: you can invite a colleague to go to a bar after work, you can attend a meeting of graduates or meet someone at an exhibition in a museum.

Often, psychologists are faced with the fact that absolutely happy people attend their sessions with only one purpose - to talk about life at least with someone. They do not need psychological support, they are not disturbed by internal demons. Because of the strongest psychological isolation, they simply need to speak out, even if the listener becomes an absolutely stranger.

Against the background of the absence of friendly relations, not only complexes can develop, but also numerous problems in a career, in family life. No one will help such a person with advice after a quarrel with her husband, no one will support him after his dismissal, and as a result, a person will sooner or later become depressed. That is why you should always look for friends, regardless of whether a person is 15 or 75 years old.

Loneliness as a problem of the XXI century and the reason for the lack of friends

Psychologists have long been sounding the alarm, considering that loneliness is the main problem of modern humanity. In a global sense, it turns into a universal hatred, tension of political relations.

In Japan, there was even a social culture, adherents of which call themselves hikikomori. Such people do not leave the house, they work mainly through the Internet, and are also in contact with the outside world. The lack of real contacts with the world results in the fact that the hikikomori have no friends, and this leads to complete social isolation, deterioration of the psychological state and even insanity.

Similar problems are observed around the world, and therefore psychologists urge not to be afraid, to make new acquaintances. Not all people can be allowed into their inner circle, trusting them with their own secrets. However, through trial and error it will be possible to find the very ones, shoulder to shoulder with which it will be possible to overcome any adversity.

Search for friends on the Internet: current problems and dangers

It is good to make friends with someone while studying at the institute, but modern technologies give a person the opportunity to make friends with the help of the world wide web. Here it is important to remember the following dangers:

  • Any new friend may turn out to be a fraud, so there should be no talk of any financial transfers;
  • communicating with someone on the network, at first you should not trust him with his most intimate secrets, so as not to end up with treachery;
  • Also, do not get scattered, communicating on the Internet immediately with hundreds of strangers, because virtual friends, like real ones, cannot be too many;
  • such communication will enter the stage of true friendship only at the moment when people meet in real life.

The Internet should be considered only as a bridge between people, helping them to find each other. However, communication in the network should not replace a person with real contacts.

Sometimes modern people who are used to reaching the maximum in everything seem to have too limited social circle. However, psychologists have long noted that for the harmonious development of personality and existence in society there are no need to have dozens of friends. Sometimes two or three people are enough who are capable of absolute mutual understanding.

A friend is not the one who should appear on the first call, but the one who will always be there at a difficult moment, despite his own problems and possible troubles in life. At times, having friends for decades is as difficult as keeping a marriage. However, nothing in the world helps a person as much as a conversation with someone who fully understands him, while giving competent advice and supporting him in difficult life moments.

Watch the video: 10 Differences Between Good Friends and Toxic Friends (May 2024).