Even if you are not a psychologist, reception will help make contact with almost any personready to express emotions.
What does empathic hearing mean?
Concept
Empathic is active listeningIt is focused on feelings, attitudes, a deep understanding of a person, his condition.
It is one of the tools of the client-centered approach based C. Rogers.
The method of empathic listening helps to talk a person, reduce the severity of his emotional reaction, get rid of depression or maintain a positive one.
Often used when working with children or patients in severe, depressed state.
It is a simultaneous understanding of the interlocutor and a manifestation of sympathy for him. It helps to change a person’s state and emotions in a positive way.
You can understand the state of a person, the feelings that he experiences, the situation in which he has fallen, but it is not necessary to be in agreement with this or to share his position. The main task - facilitating customer condition.
If he is under stress, the empathic listening method will help him to get out of it more easily and quickly. It helps to find an approach where other methods do not work or can harm.
If in certain replicas, phrases you show your interlocutor that you understand him, this is an empathic hearing.
This way of communication is based on emotions, in another it is called "female type".
The opposite is reflexive listening.
It is used in psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, psychological counseling.
Value in psychology
The method of empathic listening allows a person to naturally express emotions, to open up in front of a psychologist or a regular interlocutor.
This in turn makes it possible not only to get rid of internal psychological stress, but also to the specialist himself to get to know the client and develop ways to work with him.
If a person is at the mercy of feelings and emotions that overlap rational thinking, then empathic listening helps him to speak, reassure and express your feelings outside.
When you open emotions, they gradually become less strong, and the person begins to think more rationally.
Some people possess innate empathy, others have to learn. The method requires the inclusion of its own psyche, the cost of a certain mental energy.
Receptions allow you to reach:
- appearance of feedback;
- show that the person has an equal partner, interlocutor, and not just the perceiver;
- cause a specific reaction;
- change the state of the interlocutor, reduce stress;
- feel the emotions that are owned by the interlocutor.
It is because the method includes not only listening, but also empathy, manage to achieve greater mutual understanding patient and alleviate his condition.
During the conversation there is no condemnation, the imposition of ideas. The partner himself eventually finds a solution to his problem.
rules
The main component of empathic hearing - emotions and the ability to experience the same as the interlocutor.
rules:
- Tune in to a conversation. It is necessary to forget about your own experiences, attitudes, problems and go to the wave of the interlocutor. He becomes the central figure in the conversation. We'll have to fully get into the role, not to understand the client sitting next to him, but his image in himself.
- You must have a reaction that reflects the partner’s experiences, that is, he must see that you understand his feelings, the situation. During the session, the psychologist identifies himself with the client, but at the same time not forgetting to evaluate what he heard, analyze and direct the reactions in the right direction.
- Take a break. When you answer a partner, he must be given time to understand, evaluate, analyze.
Do not interrupt the silence with your thoughts; the pause is intended for a person to understand his feelings.
- Remember that this is not an interpretation and assessment of the feelings, but their reflection. No need to explain to the interlocutor the reasons for the appearance of certain reactions in him, you are just a mirror.
- If the other person shows excitement, irritation, This is used short phrases like "Yeah," nodding his head. He may not hear or accept long sentences, and interjections will help to show that they listen to him, understand and empathize.
- Empathic listening is applied when the interlocutor is ready to disclose his experiences. If he just wants advice or refuses to talk at all, then there is no point in applying the technique.
It is important not only the ability to listen correctly, but also to do so so that the interlocutor’s condition does not deteriorate, but improves.
In some cases, it is necessary to give the opponent to express anger, irritation, resentment.
Freed from a negative reaction, he will be able to think more rationally. To do this, you need to be able to tune in to the same wavelength with the interlocutor:
- start a conversation with what you agree with, it will allow you to draw your partner to yourself, to bring him closer, to create trust;
- avoid self-confidence, do not put yourself above your opponent, it will immediately destroy the contact;
- use weighty arguments, not coercion and pressure;
- do not label;
- to conduct a dialogue, not to turn the conversation into a monologue, not allowing the second party to speak;
- If you are going to speak out, say, make sure that you understand what you have heard correctly, the techniques of active listening will help;
- if it becomes necessary to express criticism, first say something pleasant, then criticize and close it pleasant again - this avoids resistance.
In empathic listening, it is important that the partner interlocutor trusts you and is ready to open up.
Receptions
In empathic listening, various methods to establish contact with the interlocutor:
- Participation demonstration. Head nods, short interjections, eye movements are used.
- Perferaz, or in another way retelling. Allows you to repeat the meaning of what was said, so that the interlocutor saw that he was understood. Using the method we give to the opponent, as we understood him. For example, a person says: "I hate you." In retelling it will look like this: “You experience negative emotions, because I did something that you didn’t like”.
- Replay. Phrases are repeated in almost the same form as the interlocutor said. "I am angry". "You're angry?"
- Refinement. Lets not make a mistake with the understanding of what was said. "Specify what you mean?".
- Perception message. Voicing of the interlocutor's feelings. "If I were you, I would feel the same." "You feel annoyed, and in connection with the situation, this is understandable."
- Pause. Opponent is forced to remain silent while we speak. A pause allows you to think about what you heard and speak out for yourself.
- Maintaining emotions.
Usually in empathic listening there are three stages:
- support - given the opportunity to speak, to express their reaction;
- clarification - it is important to make sure that you understand the emotions and words of the interlocutor;
- commenting - give advice.
Good listener:
- supports visual contact - looks into the eyes, it gives the opportunity not only to track changes in the state, but also to cause the location of the interlocutor, showing that they are listening to him;
- uses body language - communication partners are opposite each other, gestures are used open, showing interest;
- applies a certain tone and speed of speech, allowing to transfer warmth, care, and also to be in harmony with tone of the interlocutor;
- allows the interlocutor to choose the subject of conversation.
Both verbal and non-verbal means are used in communication, which allows to reach full contact.
Empathic listening is not always appropriate. Sometimes a person is not ready to reveal his feelings, he just needs advice or information. In this case, other methods are used.
About the practical tricks of active listening in this video:
