How to stop loving a person: ways to kill love

Love is not always happy. Sometimes it brings so much pain and suffering that it seems not a reward from above, but a real punishment.

Often this happens to those whose love from anxious and deep feeling suddenly turns into a strong dependence, the only way to deal with which is forcible deliverance.

But how to stop loving manwho quietly became the "center of the universe"?

Love addiction

Love addiction - so in psychology is called the painful manifestation of love, in which a person experiences a strong passion and obsessive obsession with the object.

The longer this condition lasts, the stronger the sufferings with which it is accompanied.

Most exposed "Ill" love, both men and women, who:

felt in childhood lack of parental love and attention;
subjected to strict control by adults;
have a deep (and not experienced) child psychological trauma;
do not know how to make decisions;
not mentally prepared for mature, full-fledged relationships;
have low self-esteem, are fixated on their own shortcomings and extremely unsure of themselves;
panicked fear of loneliness;
feel defenseless and ready to obey.

Sick love - psychology

As a rule, a person who has a love relationship (as well as a drug addict and an alcoholic) is not aware of the existing problem, firmly believing that his feelings are this is true love.

At the same time, his emotional calm and comfort directly depend on another person - his mood, presence, closeness.

Often separation (even if temporary) becomes a blowfollowed by apathy and depression. All this leads to inhibition of a person’s personal growth, and sometimes its complete degradation.

You can determine sick love with characteristic signs:

a constant feeling of heartache, even if the object is nearby;
nonstop and intrusive memories of the object during the separation;
complete idealization of the object, excessive expectations in relation to it and the peremptory justification of any of his actions;
obsessive panic fear of losing the object of love.

Is it possible to stop loving in one day?

The only right decision that can be made by a person suffering from dependent love is fight this addiction.

Often it is quite difficult to do this on your own and only a psychologist or psychotherapist can provide real help.

In any case, the first and most significant step is the realization of the “pain” of the feeling experienced.

The main goal of therapy - stop loving the object, get rid of addiction and start living a full life. But how to stop loving a person? And can this be done? In the case of love addiction, to stop loving is to realize that the feeling felt is not love, but illness.

And since the feelings and actions of a person are directly dependent on his thoughts, with the right thinking “in the right direction” after a while there will not be a trace of painful love - a person will gradually begin to recover, reborn to a new and happy life.

Undoubtedly, every person who has come to see the “painful” love seeks to “cure” as soon as possible by loving the object of his feelings as soon as possible.

But healing and recovery after any disease - the process is quite long, the duration of which is strictly individual in each specific case: it will take weeks for someone, and months for someone.

In any case, to stop loving a person in one day is just is impossible!

Is it easy to forget a person who does not love you?

Stop loving - always uneasy. Often, people are even well aware that a relationship or an unrequited feeling brings nothing but disappointment and resentment, cherish the hope that sooner or later everything will miraculously change for the better.

This position is fundamentally wrong, because the current situation requires drastic measures:

The realization that unrequited love is the most hopeless feeling, which is very difficult to control.
Acceptance of what happened, but no one is to blame.
Making a list of reasons why you should stop loving a person.
At the same time, it is important to look at things soberly and to be as honest as possible, recalling even the most "insignificant" situations, the memories of which cause painful feelings.

How to stop loving? 3 ways to remove feelings:

What to do?

Psychological advice:

How to stop loving the guy who doesn't need you? Unrequited love is not uncommon. Usually in such a situation, women tend to idealize a loved one, endowing him with features that he, in fact, does not possess. To stop loving such a person, the main thing is to open your eyes and realize that he has a lot of flaws.
Take a piece of paper and write all its advantages. And after - shortcomings, remembering every unpleasant situation associated with it. As a rule, at the end of the process comes the understanding that the person is not as perfect as it seemed at first glance. Carry a piece of a sheet with imperfections with you and re-read it every time you start to cover the “wave of longing”.
How to stop loving the girl you love so much? To stop loving and forget a person takes time. And at this time it is important to direct all your strengths and emotions to work, study, play sports, rest, entertainment, travel. No need to blame anyone for what happened.
Let the current situation become a stimulus for improving and improving yourself, but not for the sake of that girl, but for the sake of new, harmonious relations that will surely appear in your life.
How to get rid of the feeling of being in love with a married woman? Realizing that a passion for a married woman is “wrong”, it is necessary to act immediately and abruptly. If the relationship has already begun, make a firm decision not to call and do not overlap. And then - immersion in work, new hobbies, sports and a minimum of free time for painful thoughts.
How to stop loving a married man? First of all, you should ask yourself: why do I need this love? What will I get in the future?
As a rule, married men very rarely leave the family, and by continuing to love him you doom yourself to constant waiting, torment and jealousy. Realize that such love is destructive. After all, it is somewhere that “your” person awaits whom fate cannot bring to you precisely because of the presence of a dependent feeling in life.
Stop any connection with a married man. Change the phone number. Suffer a little, and then change your haircut, buy a new perfume, a handbag and go to yoga (fitness, swimming). Try to spend more time out and chat with new people.
How to stop loving her lover if she herself is married? For a start, it is worth understanding what exactly caused this love. For this you need on a piece of paper to write the feelings that a woman feels next to her lover. But the second sheet - next to her husband. After it is important to realize that love for another man is a destructive feeling that should be eliminated. You just need to want to get rid of, completely isolating yourself from communicating with him.
And most importantly, learn to feel fully not “next to someone” but “by itself”.
How to kill the love of his wife? When family life does not add up, divorce is the only way out. But even after that, a man may have feelings for his wife, who do not allow him to move on. How to be? First of all, it is worth taking the situation as a given and working on reduced self-esteem. At the same time, it is important to limit in every way (and it’s better to stop all communication), at least for a while. Distraction will help immersion in work, hobbies, as well as the elimination from the apparent availability of any items that resemble a happy family life.
How to stop loving her husband, living with him? Often, spouses continue to live as a family even when coexistence becomes unbearable due to constant quarrels, reproaches, physical or psychological violence from a man, his addiction to alcohol. The woman continues to endure and even love the faithful "for the sake of children." In order to break the vicious circle of pain and suffering, it is necessary to weigh the pros and cons of such an existence, and it is possible to take the only right decision to part. The main thing is to realize that this is no longer love, but rather, the fear of being alone. You can contact a psychologist, or independently try to raise self-esteem with the help of psycho-trainings, and having freed from painful dependence, make a decisive step towards a new and free life.
How to stop loving your ex-husband? Both are always to blame for the breakup of relations, therefore, categorically, you should not engage in self-suing and blame yourself. Especially to call the former spouse and ask for forgiveness. At first, after breaking up, it is better to exclude all contacts and remove all reminders of him from your eyes. It is preferable to do their appearance, updating wardrobe, visiting public places, various events.
The main thing is to be busy every minute, not giving self-pity and bitterness of loss to cover with the head.
It is necessary to love yourself, feeling free and independent - only after that a new relationship will come to life in itself.
How to stop loving a womanizer? First of all, answer the question: Do we need such a love that is saturated with jealousy, pain and suffering? If not, feel free to talk about this person. You need to be persistent and categorical, and every time when doubts about the correctness of your act are suddenly overtaken, remember all the negative aspects of communication with him. The main thing is to understand that every woman is worthy of a sincere, genuine, deep feeling that will surely appear after getting rid of painful love.
How to make yourself stop loving a boy classmate? The main thing - do not let yourself get stuck on the object of his feelings. Most often, at school age, girls tend to idealize their chosen one, so it’s better to take a closer look at him: he probably has a couple of flaws that it was difficult to guess before. You also need to direct your energy in a different direction: more time to devote to learning, self-development, your appearance, hobbies, and also to communicate with your peers as often as possible.

How to erase feelings? Tips from a professional psychologist:

If you see him every day

How to stop loving the person you see every day or with whom you work? Folk wisdom "Out of sight, out of mind" not in vain. It is much easier and faster to stop loving a person who does not “loom” on the horizon.

But what if the beloved (but already former) person is a neighbor, classmate or colleague, with whom daily communication is inevitable and painful?

Some, faced with a similar dilemma, choose the path of least resistance: change their place of residence, university or work.

But there is another way to get rid of the love of a person who has to see every day. Perhaps it will take a lot of time, but in the end completely free from the "unnecessary" feelings. It consists of three main stages:

Suspension from the situation. Awareness and acceptance - a key step towards the main goal. If there was a separation from the person, it is necessary to put a fat point in the relationship. If the situation allows, you can openly talk with your former partner that the gap is not easy for you, each meeting is very painful and therefore it will be better to minimize communication, respecting each other’s personal boundaries. If you can not talk, or the object does not even suspect about your feelings, you can use the paper, write on it everything that you would like to say, and then burn it. To not accumulate emotions, get a diary that describes all the feelings that overwhelm you. Sometimes it is enough to “cry out” enough to feel relief and a burst of energy. To get rid of the awkwardness at a meeting, you can mentally “rehearse” your own behavior in certain circumstances - this will allow you not to give way to panic at the meeting and to behave confidently and calmly.
The development of a positive lifestyle. Relief from painful love is an excellent opportunity to discover new opportunities. Control your own thoughts as much as possible: as soon as they begin to carry you into memories, immediately change their direction, making plans for the future. In order not to become limp, it is necessary to practice your acting skills and take it as a rule “in public” to keep yourself in good shape, radiating goodwill, openness and positive.
If at first it will be difficult to do this, over time this behavior will become a habit and will save you from “pitying” and sympathetic views and conversations that only aggravate the situation.
Forward movement. Changing the image, new passion, buying a subscription to the pool or enrolling in English courses is an excellent opportunity to meet new people and change your familiar environment. The main thing is to do all this not for the sake of returning the past, but for bringing new feelings and attitudes into life. If the unpleasant aftertaste of painful love continues, you can turn to a psychologist in order to work out the problematic moments with him and to get rid of the obsessive feeling forever.

How to stop loving and forget the person you love? Getting rid of spiritual illness:

How to get rid of thoughts about his beloved?

Power of thought can have a powerful influence on our lives, both creating and destroying.

And even if it seems that the painful feeling towards a person is in the past, thoughts of the “formerly beloved one” no-no, and they arise in the head, shamelessly disrupting internal harmony.

To get rid of obsessive thoughts will help a few simple tricks:

maximum occupancy. Dip your head in work or school, you can send thoughts back on track. Let all your free time be occupied with something: dancing, yoga, sports, courses. Volunteering or charitable activities help to ward off sad thoughts;
being among people. It would not have wanted to wrap himself in a warm blanket and surrender to sad memories, this is absolutely not worth doing. On the contrary, you should try to spend any free minute outside the house. A theater, an exhibition, a nightclub, a cinema, or just a gathering with friends will not only drive away obsessive thoughts, but also help recharge positive energy;
work on yourself. Often, it is low self-esteem that leads to the fact that a person cannot “let go” of a painful feeling in any way, continually mentally returning to his experiences.
Special psychological literature aimed at self-knowledge, self-improvement and self-acceptance will help to get rid of this.
positive statements. When obsessive thoughts creep into your head, take a pen and write them down. And after - re-read and try to reformulate each of them so that it has a positive meaning. Fold this sheet in a beautiful envelope and carry with you, re-reading each time, as soon as the "unnecessary" thoughts again make themselves felt.

How not to suffer and let go of unhappy love?

The realization that the feeling experienced by a particular person - destructive and painful, sooner or later surely comes. And since it finally happened, the main thing is to let go of unhappy love forever.

A note in order to minimize possible suffering, it is important to do it right:

shut off the invisible wall, behind which to leave the object of his love and everything that was connected with it: memories, insults, thoughts. From the joint photos, gifts and cute trinkets also worth getting rid of;
complete the relationship, expressing to the person everything that concerns you, sincerely thank you for the positive moments, forgive the insults and finally - let go. This can be done in person, in a letter, or simply by talking to an “empty chair”;
give yourself time to suffer, clearly defining the time limit (three days, a week, ten days). During this period, you are allowed to cry, remember, feel your “unhappiness” and “uselessness to anyone”. But as soon as the time runs out, wipe away the tears and pull yourself together;
to begin a new life. Change the image, scope of activities, go on an interesting trip and, of course, meet new people.
You can try yourself in the works or do something for which a long time was not enough determination.

No matter how difficult it was, it is necessary to get rid of sick love. Only in this way can suffering and painful feelings be removed from your life, making room for new positive emotions.

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