How to become a sociable and interesting person

The modern world is often unfair and cruel. Uncertain and closed people often remain outsiders. Especially the problem of communication is in his youth. Boys and girls can not find friends, defend their opinion, they are not interesting to their peers. How to become more sociable? It is necessary to develop communication skills, to fight with their own complexes, uncertainty. At first glance, such a task does not seem feasible. But if you approach the matter responsibly, perform special exercises and use the advice of psychologists, you can see the result in a couple of weeks - the interest and recognition of others.

Why am I so uncommunicative?

Many people explain their lack of communication as a commonplace complex or uncertainty. In fact, the problem is always deeper. Sometimes it's not easy to understand yourself. It is not very pleasant to remember, much less admit any negative facts. But to do this is extremely important, otherwise all activities will resemble the struggle with windmills. Most often behind the non-communicative lies:

Negative experience of communication. The most important role is played by the example of the parental family. Lack of respect for each other, constant quarrels and scandals from the virginity look at the world with hostility - all the time waiting for a dirty trick, condemnation and even aggression. Less often the catalyst is the cruelty of peers.
Dissatisfaction with their own appearance. It is known that they meet according to their clothes, but are escorted by the mind. Overweight, acne, angularity, low growth can drive into complexes of any. Beautiful people are always perceived differently.
Material lack of comfort. It is hard to feel confident being aground. A poor person is forced to suppress his desires all the time. As a result, envy of others appears, which, in essence, is anger. And to communicate, if angry, much more difficult.
Lack of achievements, lack of implementation. Belief in yourself should be based on something. Therefore, it is important to achieve success in any area. For example, learn to dance beautifully, draw, sing. To become interesting to others, you need something different from the rest.
Personality Features. Sometimes hostility and closeness due to character traits. For example, introverts need little interaction with the outside world, it is much more important to them what is happening inside. Do not differ sociability and phlegmatic, who perceive all too indifferent.
Vanity. If a person puts himself above others, considers that he is surrounded by "wrong" people, one should not be surprised at the lack of communication. You don't even have to voice your opinion. Enough haughty look and indulgent tone.

What to do?

How to become a sociable and talkative person, the soul of any company? First of all, you need to get rid of uncertainty and start opening up to people, accept yourself as you are.

There are no ideal people, each has positive and negative features. Something a person has the power to fix, but there is one that is not. You need to work on yourself, improve yourself, but do not avoid communicating with people.

Exercises

In our century, there are many techniques and exercises for the development of communication skills. If funds allow, it is better to go to group classes. But you can learn something by yourself. We offer 3 exercises that will help you to become a sociable person:

"Find the common." The Russian word "communication", as well as the English "communication" comes from the "common". People who speak are always united by something - interest, idea, problem, etc. The essence of the exercise is to find something in common with other people. Write down the names of 5 of your friends, and then find common interests and write them down. Start a conversation on the chosen topic.
"Be useful." It is very important to strive for quality communication. Empty chatter is of little interest to anyone. Share useful information with 5 friends (neighbors, relatives, classmates). For example, you can tell how to pass a difficult level in a game, make a fashionable hairstyle, make a simple and tasty cake.
" View from the side ". You need to make a video recording with a duration of 5-10 minutes. Put the camera in front of you and tell us what you have done today, share your plans for the future, retell the recently watched movie. Then view the recording and analyze. How relaxed and natural are you? What gestures give you excitement? How do you speak? What do your eyes express? Record video until you start to sympathize with yourself in the frame.

Advice of the author. At 15, I dreamed of becoming a sociable, talkative girl, but I didn’t know how. All time clamped and shy. I was helped by a change of scenery. We went to sea with my parents and I met one girl and then her entire company. Just asked where you can go. Further communication began by itself. Having stayed at sea for 2 weeks, I got a great experience in communication, I realized that I can be an interesting and cheerful conversationalist. Therefore, I can advise you just to start talking to people, cast away your fear, and after that it's a matter of practice.

Practical advice

It’s not so difficult to become a sociable person; it’s enough to start talking to people around. Much harder, do not pass at the same bore or bored. To earn a reputation as an interesting, sociable and cheerful person, you need to listen to the advice of psychologists:

In communication, it is important not only to speak, but also to listen. Show your interest in the phrases: "wow!", "Can not be," "cool."
Smile and joke. To become fun, watch more comedies, read funny stories and chat with positive people.
Learn to laugh at yourself. Do not be offended by trifles and do not look for a dirty trick in everything.
Avoid monosyllabic phrases. To the question "what's new?" or "how are you?" do not respond normally, “nothing.” Recall an unusual episode and tell about it in detail.
Work on your speech. Try not to use parasitic words, speak clearly and clearly.
Watch your tone and facial expression. To communicate with you, you need to be friendly.

Finally, I want to give one more small, but very important advice. Sociable person makes no effort to start a conversation. He does not need any patterns or rules. He gets pleasure from communication. Therefore, all you need is to want to share opinions, useful and not very information with people. Successes!

Irina, Vladivostok